Baby Boomer Talk & other stuff

If I was the Grandmother of Blue Ivy

2012-01-11T13:50:00.000-08:00

If I was the grandmother of Beyonce and Jay-Z's new baby girl, the first thing I would do is sit down and have a long, and not-so-nice Parenting 101 lesson with them.

I'd tell them how foolish I think they are to spend over a million dollars to seal off a wing of the hospital to assure their privacy. If they wanted privacy, they could've paid for a PRIVATE facility with PRIVATE everything else.

I'd tell them how inconsiderate they are to keep other new parents from having access to their own newborns in the neonatal care unit of the hospital. One father took his complaints to the media---and we all know how that gets blown up.

I'd tell them they could've donated that $1.3 million they spent on hospital privacy and security to different organizations to ensure that less fortunate mothers could get good prenatal care.

These are the things I would say if I were the grandmother of Beyonce and Jay-Z's baby girl. I'm just wondering what their own mothers said---if anything.

Parents Children and Guns Don't Mix

2012-01-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

While preparing for my radio show this morning, I decided to do some research and talk about some of the most bizarre stories of 2011. During my search, I came across what has to be not only bizarre but one of the most ridiculous stories I've ever heard of in my life!

A 17-year-old Florida girl reportedly pistol-whipped her mother because the mother refused to sign a car loan for her. On top of that, the daughter held the gun to her mother's head and forced her to drive to the dealership, where her mother decided to sign the car loan. The daughter then drove off in her new Nissan 350Z.

Oh---and it gets worse. THE MOTHER REFUSED TO PRESS CHARGES BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO JEOPARDIZE HER DAUGHTER'S IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE ACCEPTANCES AND SCHOLARSHIPS.

Seriously???!!!

This is obviously the case of a spoiled brat who has lived a life of privilege. Her mother (and probably others) have catered to her every whim and the one time her mother decided to put her foot down, the daughter just wasn't having it.

This is definitely the extreme, but believe it or not more and more young people today live in a world of entitlment. Why? Because baby boomer and millennial parents have set a new definition for raising children.

Parents reach for their checkbooks whenever their grown children ask for money to pay their credit-card bills, parking tickets, real estate agent fees, medical expenses and insurance premiums. They buy them clothes, condos, new cars and vacations--and welcome them home again to live without asking them to pay rent.

As much as I thought I'd hate saying it, I am thankful for old school parents, who made me appreciate what it means to work hard to earn what I want.

There is no way in hell that a child should demand that a parent do anything for them. And the fact that this child threatened to kill her mother over a car makes me question the lack of parental guidance.

I wish my daughter would try to threaten me with some nonsense. I'll be calling the police and the undertaker.

Holy Cow Batman Santa Claus is Black

2011-12-05T05:38:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up, I always believed santa claus was a fat, old white man with a fake beard and a red suit because that's the only image I ever saw at the mall or on TV.

You can imagine my surprise when the Hayti Heritage Center announced it was bringing a black santa to Durham, NC for the first time ever. I had to see it for myself. But more importantly, I wanted by five-year-old grandson to see an image that looked more like him.

Last year, my grandson asked me if santa claus was going to bring him some presents. Without hesitation, I told him no and then proceeded to explain that his mom, grandparents, nana and papa and other family members are the ones who buy him gifts.

I didn't want my grandson to get it in his head that if he was good all year, some jolly old white man would come and bring him presents. It just didn't seem right.

Now I know someone reading this is going to think I'm being racist but I would argue the whole idea of promoting santa claus as white is racist. It's something that's been embedded in our minds for years with movies, TV specials and in practically every mall in America.

Just like I thought I'd never live to see the day we'd have a black President, I never thought I'd see a black santa claus on public display.

##!@Holy Freakin' Cow Batman!@#!!$@! KA-BOOM!

Grandma Learns Her Colors

2011-11-26T14:30:00.001-08:00

I thought I knew my colors but obviously I didn't know them as well as I thought I did---until today. I received a valuable lesson at the grocery store about color-coding, which I thought was worth sharing.

While looking for bread, my grandson quickly noticed that the twists were different colors and he wanted me to explain why. I didn't have an answer but, fortunately, there was an employee standing nearby who was willing to share the information.

He said if you want to know how fresh the bread is in your grocery store, look at the tie that is holding the wrapper closed. Bread is delivered five days a week, Monday Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and the bread maker puts a different colored tie on to designate which day of the week the bread was baked:

Monday - Blue

Tuesday - Green

Thursday - Red

Friday - White

Saturday - Yellow

So, if you go to the grocery store on a Saturday, you should look for bread with the yellow twist or even the white twist since that was just delivered the day before. On the other hand, if you arbitrarily pick up bread with a blue twist on a Saturday, you can bet that bread has been sitting on the shelf for at least five days.

And to think, I've been color blind all these years.

Being a Grandma Blogger Has Privileges

2011-10-29T12:31:00.001-07:00

Last week I received an email from a PR firm out of Chicago, which read:

"I wanted to invite you to be a part of an upcoming event in High Point. I’ve been reading your blog Baby Boomer Talk & Other Stuff and saw that you’ve been taking care of your grandson while your daughter is in school and thought this might be great fun for the both of you. On Saturday, Oct. 29 at YWCA High Point community members will team up with Humana, to build a multi-generational playground that will benefit children, adults and seniors.

For those of you who don't know, High Point is about 90 minutes from where I live and it's not a place I've ever visited so, while I was flattered for the invite and that she was reading my blog, I wasn't quite sure I wanted to make the trip.

But then she added a nugget: Former UNC Basketball Player Brendan Haywood would be there. I knew my grandson would get a kick out of meeting an NBA player up close and personal but it was even more special for me because I was acquainted with Brendan long before he went to the NBA. While a UNC student, he attended the same church as me and we always sat together in the balcony. I would affectionately call him "my son" and encourage him to not only to do well on the basketball court but to also shine in the classroom. I remember him being very quiet and respectful.

My grandson and I braved the cold temperatures and high-tailed it to High Point. Although Brendan was scheduled to leave by 11am, he was kind enough to wait for our arrival. He and my grandson participated in a video shoot for my TV show, while I watched as volunteers came together, despite the cold, rain and mud, to build the playground. Simply amazing!

Here's what I got out of that trip:

I witnessed the true spirit of teamwork, in spite of the weather-related obstacles.
People are really reading my blog and being influenced in some way by it.
My grandson thinks I'm "the coolest."
The pleasure of seeing Brendan again and seeing that success hasn't changed him. He's still quiet and respectful.

My Grandson the Medial Examiner

2011-10-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

The other day as my grandson was getting dressed for school, he noticed I had the news on and the coverage was about the doctor accused of murdering Michael Jackson.

While I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth he comes in and announces he knows how Michael Jackson died.

"How?" I asked.

He replied, "Michael Jackson took some pills that made him white and that's why he died. He's supposed to be black like his brothers."

OK---so this is why we spent $500 to get him into kindergarten as an early entry so he could start practicing his medical examiner theories.

The mind of a kindergartener!

Why Aren't You Singing for Jesus in the Choir Grandma

2011-09-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

Whenever we take my (now five-year-old) grandson to church, we can always expect him to say or do something that will either entertain or embarrass us. Today was no exception.

Shortly after we arrived, my grandson immediately peeled his eyes on the choir, looking for his godmother, who is a member. As we were listening to them sing, Jarod looked at me and said, "Grandma go sit with Tasha in the choir and sing." I told him I don't sing in the choir to which he responded, "Don't you think Jesus will be mad at you if you don't want to sing for him?" My response, "Jesus loves you know matter where you sing. It doesn't have to be in the choir. I can sing right where I am"

Of course, he had to have the last word: "Well, you're not singing very loud. I'm glad I sing in the coir because I know He can hear me there."

From Teenage Mom to Responsible Parent

2011-08-30T16:21:00.001-07:00

Now that my daughter is back in college, I am wearing the primary caregiver hat for her son/my grandson.

It has been so amazing to see my once "I can't believe you got pregnant teenage daughter!" develop into a responsible, loving and nurturing mother.

Instead of using her summer to work full-time to save for college expenses, she chose to spend it preparing her four-year-old for a big test he would have to take as an "early entry" into kindergarten. (He missed the cutoff date by 6 days).

Everyday they went to the library--including Saturdays. She taught him to identify and spell more than 200 words, spell and write his name so it was legible, tell time and do math. Oh, did I tell you he had to learn to read?

Day in and day out, she challenged him and herself to accomplish the goal of scoring in the 98 percentile (what the state law REQUIRES in order to be admitted into kindergarten). It was frustrating at times---even for me and I was just an assistant teacher.

On Wednesday, August 31, my grandson will be a part of the 2011-2012 kindergarten class.

My daughter's hard work and tenacity paid BIG DIVIDENDS. Grandma is so proud!

Teaching Grandchildren Discipline

2011-07-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

Discipline comes in many forms. Some parents believe in time out (which I don't personally think works). Others think taking a way a privilege gets the job done, while some maintain the traditional form of punishment: a good old-fashioned butt-whooping.

Even thought I'm an old school, old-fashioned grandma, I have discovered children don't need to be disciplined if they are taught self-discipline and they can be taught self-discipline through martial arts. There is no beating children into submission or rough-housing. Instead, it teaches children the skill of protecting themselves, along with self-control, humility and respect.

Self-discipline is what ALL children need as they grow and mature. It helps them take responsibility for the things they do. They begin to become aware of their responsibilities not because they are being reminded of them but because doing them is the right thing to do. They will understand for example, that household chores, homework, or even eating vegetables, should be done even if they are not pleasurable.

What do you think? Do you think kids don't need to be disciplined if they are taught self-discipline? How are you teaching your children and grandchildren discipline?

Who are My Forefathers?

2011-07-01T12:55:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation today at Costo's which prompted this blog post.

While waiting for my medication two older gentlemen were talking about the principals this country were founded upon and how we have lost sight of that with President Obama in the White House. I'm not sure what one had to do with the other but I kept listening.

One man said he thought the TRUE patriots were those who came from small towns---rural America---because as he put it, "They still believe and live by the values this country was founded upon." He said our forefathers laid out a roadmap by which we were to follow and we have totally strayed from it.

OK---that was my cue to jump in the conversation.

I asked him if he believed our forefathers held the best interests of everyone, in light of the fact that slavery existed and ALL of them owned slaves. He said our forefathers were lookin' out for the Coloreds because they were in a foreign land and needed guidance until they could get on their feet.

WHAT???!!!

I can't even tell you how stunned I was to hear his response and to think he truly believed that in his heart.

"Mahone-Gibbs. Your medication is ready."

THANK YOU JESUS!

So who were my forefathers again?

Your All-Time Favorite TV Boomer Dad

2011-06-18T10:57:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, you more than likely grew up watching shows like Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, Courtship of Eddie's Father, etc.

This is a simple question: Who was your all-time favorite TV Dad?

Here's a few to choose from or, perhaps, you have one I didn't name:

Steve Douglas (My Three Sons)
Jim Anderson (Father Knows Best)
Jason Seavor (Growing Pains),
Tom Corbett (Courtship of Eddie's Father)
Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show),
Danny Williams (Danny Thomas Show)
Michael Keaton (Family Ties)
Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver)
Archie Bunker (All in the Family)
James Evans (Good Times)

Take the Training Wheels Off Grandma

2011-05-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

This week we bought my grandson a new bicycle. He got his first bike when he was two-years-old. He had to grow into it---even with the training wheels.

When we gave him the new bike the first thing he said was "Take the training wheels off grandma!" Of course, my heart sank at the thought of this four-year-old trying to ride his new "big boy bike" with no training wheels. But he kept insisting so we gave in and, lo and behold, he started riding in no time.

The moral to this story: You block your goals when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.

Jarod proved that he had more faith than fear.

12 Life Lessons for the Grandson of an African American Baby Boomer

2011-05-13T15:12:00.000-07:00

Professor Devin Robinson wrote a blog post where he lists 12 things he believes black men must do and be in their lifetime. I chose to post four things from his awesome list because it is my sincere hope that my four-year-old grandson will take the subjects on this list to heart and be the kind of man he is currently being raised to be.

12 Things a Black Man Must Do or Be in His Lifetime

4. Be compassionate towards women – Girls examine the relationship men have towards women. If that relationship is disrespectful and unhealthy, girls will grow up accepting this treatment and boys will expect these habits to be becoming of them when they become adults.

5. Seek knowledge – The worst thing a man can ever do is stop growing. Knowledge is the cornerstone to liberation and without it the Black population is doomed to repeat our past.

6. Teach others – Sharing wisdom is an important contribution towards reshaping the minds of the Black population. Remaining objective and approachable is also a “teaching” technique. You teach others how to learn when you set the example.

7. Have a strong spiritual foundation – Narcissism is a harmful psychological toxin. It makes us believe that we are the master of our destiny. Understanding that our purpose is already written and encourage others to understand this will make the Black body more mindful of our frivolous acts and necessary virtue.

*If you click on the "12 Things....." it will take you to the complete list.

When Your Best Isn't Good Enough

2011-05-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

My four-year-old grandson is facing a dilemna that he is totally unaware of. Although he is READY for kindergarten, both emotionally and academically, he will not be permitted to attend next year because his birthdate falls past the cutoff date. The cutoff date is August 31---his birthday is September 6.

We were given three options:

1) Get tested for the Durham Public Schools Pre-Kindergarten Program
2) Get tested for early entrance in kindergarten
3) Return to daycare

On Wednesday, my grandson was tested by the Durham Public Schools Pre-K program. He scored in the 94 percentile. The tester told my daughter she was very impressed with his skills but was doubtful that he would be accepted because his score was TOO HIGH. He needed to score BELOW 60 percent. What in the %!#$%*!?! Are they serious?!

Option Two: In order to be tested for early entry into kindergarten, we must pay $500 to see if he will score in the 98 percentile. And if he doesn't pass, well, too bad--there's no refund.

Option Three: Return to daycare with two, three and four year olds. NOT A VIABLE OPTION!

My grandson proved this week that he deserves to be in kindergarten but because of some ridiclous North Carolina Board of Education Law, he may be held back because he will have to be on a first grade level in order to pass a test for kindergarten.

Sadly, the same system that is trying to promote academic excellence is also the same one that is holding kids back from being able to shine when they're ready.

So what happens when my grandson does finally enter kindergarten at 6 years old and is bored out of his mind because he already knows what 70 percent of his fellow classmates don't know? Will he then be considered a discipline problem?

How do you tell a child their best isn't good enough when you know in your heart, it really is?

Baby Boomers and the Easter Parade

2011-04-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hey baby boomers, do you remember when you were little and how you got all dressed up to go to church on Easter Sunday? My church, like many others I'm sure, was known as Fashion Central with mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandmas, grandpas and others modeling their finest attire. It was a time in the history of the baby boomer generation where you could look pretty with nothing hanging out, too revealing or too short and a boy's pants certainly were halfway off his butt.

Now that I'm older, I no longer put on my easter bonnet for the Easter parade. That tradition has been passed down to my grandson who, by the way, doesn't just show up in church on Easter to showcase his style.

Do you have a favorite Easter memory? Please share it here and HAPPY EASTER!

Called to Serve on Jury Duty

2011-04-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

Recently, I received notice in the mail that I have been summoned for jury duty. This is only the second time in my adult life that I have been called. The first time I was dismissed because I worked in television news.

Being summoned for jury duty has got me to thinking. Will I really be a juror of the "alleged" suspect's peers? Suspects are always told they will be tried by a jury of their peers. So does that mean I will be listening to the case of a fellow college-educated baby boomer who has committed some horrendous crime? A college-educated baby boomer between the ages of 50 and 60 is a description of what I would consider my "peer."

Instead, I will more than likely be subjected to hearing the case of some low life, young person who has a criminal record as long as my arm. It will likely be a child who didn't come from a stable home environment and had no real male role models in his life.

No, I definitely am not a peer but it certainly is frightening to think, as a grandmother, that it will be probably be somebody's grandson.

Grandchildren and Identity Theft

2011-04-01T16:18:00.000-07:00

Mama needs a new car but she doesn't have enough money and her credit is bad. What does she do? She uses her child's social security number to establish herself a new line of credit. Sound far-fetched? Actually, it isn't.

Child identity theft is on the rise and it could affect your grandchild. According to Researcher Richard Power, children make perfect targets because they have no records and the crime usually isn't discovered until they become an adult.

Among the 4,311 children found to have distressed identity records, 300 were under five-years-old years old. Nearly 1,800 cases involved utility service records, such as bogus electricity service accounts. There were also 500 kids’ names attached to mortgages or foreclosures, and 415 of the kids had driver's licenses.

Among the more serious cases: a 16-year-old girl in Arizona with 33 credit accounts linked to her name, including three mortgages.

How does this happen? According to the report, the primary reasons for child identity theft are illegal immigration (e.g., to obtain false IDs for employment), organized crime (e.g., to engage in financial fraud) and friends and family (e.g., to circumvent bad credit ratings, etc.), the report says. And, more often than not, it is someone the child knows.

To learn more about how to protect your child or grandchild from identity theft, read this great article from CreditCards.com: Child ID Theft

Four Letter Words Aren't Always Bad

2011-03-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

At some point every child hears and eventually says their first "four letter" word. That happened this evening at choir pratice.

My grandson and the other members of the Cherubs Choir were singing the song, "Hail Jesus You're My King" and when the music stopped, one little girl politely announced to the choir director that she wasn't allowed to sing the song because it had a bad word in it. To her, "hail" sounded like that other four-letter word we all know as h-e-l-l. At that point, the choir director proceeded to explain the difference and then thanked the parents for teaching children not to say those four-letter bad words.

No doubt, our children and grandchildren are going to be exposed to bad words at some point in their lives. We as parents and grandparents must explain to them that even though they may hear other people using profanity that we expect them to behave better than that and that it is not acceptable.

It is also important that your children never hear you use profanity. Our children learn most from the example we give them. If they hear you using "four letter" words it is only a matter of time until they start using them as well. After explaining that it is not acceptable for them to use profanity you need to go on to explain why. It will further reinforce that they should not be swearing once they understand that words can hurt people just like hitting or kicking.

This little girl did the right thing at choir rehearsal and we all are better for it.

Talking to Grandchildren About Death

2011-03-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

My four-year-old grandson's father is dead. As a matter of fact, he never got to know his father because he was murdered prior to his birth.

Up until now, his mother and I have chosen not to discuss this tragedy but lately, this little boy's inquiring mind has been wanting to understand more about what life and death is all about.

Long before we realize it, children become aware of death. They see dead birds, insects, and animals lying by the road. They may see death at least once a day on television.

Meanwhile, we, as adults, do our best to shield our children from the sting of death. Many of us are inclined not to talk about things that upset us. We try to put a lid on our feelings and hope that saying nothing will be for the best. But not talking about something doesn't mean we aren't communicating. Children are great observers. They read messages on our faces. We express ourselves by what we do, by what we say, and by what we do not say.

Primary care physician Dr. Claire McCarthy says, "No matter the circumstances, teaching children about death is hard. We don’t want childhood to be sad, so we don’t like to talk about death."

In my grandson's case, I chose to tell him his dad has gone to be with Jesus. His response was "Can I go live with them?"

My reply: "Jesus will send for you when you're finished helping him out here--and that will be a long time from now."

How would you have responded?

Grandma's Little James Brown

2011-02-25T16:07:00.000-08:00

Children are like sponges, soaking up all information they can get. They learn from watching their parents, grandparents, from daycare and school and even from listening to music.

Earlier this week, I picked up my four-year-old grandson from daycare and proceeded to go to the bank. As we were riding along, I had James Brown's song, Say It Loud I'm Black and I'm Proud, blasting on my CD player. I'm cruising along--- singing---and, all of a sudden, Jarod decides to chime in.

Mind you, Jarod has never seen James Brown before or heard any of his music before this day so you can imagine my total surprise when we walked into the bank and he starts dancing and singing VERY LOUDLY, "Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud..." . Fortunately, there weren't many people in the bank and no one could see my face turning red. I immediately explained that we had been listening to the song in the car and weren't coming into the bank to start a revolution.

I then softly told Jarod that he needed to have his quiet voice on when we were in the bank. Do you know what he did? He whispered as loud as he could, "Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud!"

I haven't had a conversation with him yet to see if he really understands what that song means or was he just singing it because grandma was. Althought I saw this as one of our funniest moments together, I also hope he will hold those words in his heart with a sense of pride in who he is.

Certainly, being a black male in this society will be a conversation that must be addressed.

Grandma's Valentine

2011-02-18T16:55:00.000-08:00

On Valentine's Day I received an unexpected---but pleasant surprise when the Producer of NBC's My Carolina Today called to ask me to fill-in as a co-host. One of their anchors had called in sick and they thought of me. They needed me at the studio in less than three hours to tape the show, which was scheduled to air later in the week. At the time I was passing out chocolates to parents at a local school.

Of course, I made it to the set, taped the show, took plenty of pictures and returned home. The next day I received the most wonderful belated Valentine's Day gift of all when my four-year-old grandson looked at the pictures I posted on my Facebook page and said, "Look grandma, there's Oprah!" He was pointing at me.

Gotta love him!

Are Grandparents Going Overboard with Their Grandchildren

2011-02-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

A survey conducted last year by BeGrand.net revealed that 81% of grandparents thought their grandchildren are more spoiled than they were. And they say it’s not just money, it’s far more than that.

As a grandmother myself, I say that's true and the sad thing is, I think spoiling my grandson at this stage may do him more harm than good down the road.

For example, I still iron because I like to iron and I like the way nicely pressed clothes look beyond permanent press. My grandson has gotten accustomed to having his clothes ironed. He now thinks everything he wears should be ironed, including his undershirts and boxers. That's something my mother used to do for my father but I ain't my mother.

Another thing is the fact that he has to have his strawberries and blueberries prepared in a certain way. The strawberries must be cut into halves with the blueberries on top, sprinkled with sugar.

He is also into the "preppy look." Now, I am not going to take 100 percent of the blame for this because his mother has a hand in his clothes shopping but between the two of us, we have given him a "Dapper Dan" complex.

I think there are many parents and grandparents who go above and beyond what is necessary to keep their children happy. The truth is, if a child grows accustomed to having it their way and being pampered all the time, then it stops being special treatment and becomes the "norm". To get them to appreciate what you do for them, you need to find a way to make them see how much effort you put in.

The best case scenerio, in my grandson's case, is that he will grow up and learn to do these things for himself---without relying on someone else to do them for him. He will also learn to appreciate how hard his grandma had to work to do those "special" things for him---and that's one lesson I definitely don't mind teaching.

Grandma's Pregnant

2011-02-04T04:52:00.000-08:00

My four-year-old grandson has become my new personal trainer. He is my biggest motivator and inspiration when it comes to my efforts to get rid of my middle age spread.

For the past several days he has come up to me, leaned his head on my stomach and asked, "Grandma, do you have a baby in your belly?" Now, you and I both know no adult would have the nerve to say that--but my grandson's inquiring mind wants to know based on the evidence he thinks he sees.

No, he has no concept of what it means to fight the battle of the bulge. He only equates pudge with pregnancy so I guess that means I must go ahead and give birth---and try to do it in less than nine months!

In the meantime, please enjoy this video I created a few years ago after I wrote my first book: Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age.

Mother Jailed for Wanting Children to Get Good Education

2011-01-27T16:51:00.000-08:00

Kelly Williams-Bolar of Ohio and I (formerly of Ohio) are both mothers who have our childrens' best interests at heart and we will do whatever is necessary in order to make sure they have the best opportunities in life. Yes, that means LYING if we have to.

Ms. Williams-Bolar did the same thing two years ago that I did seven years ago. We both lied to ensure that our children would get a better education.

Fortunately for me, my lying went undetected---but not so for Ms. Williams-Bolar. Her lying landed her in jail charged with defrauding the school system for two years of educational services for her girls. She is also ordered to pay back $30 thousand dollars in tuition--a figure the court decided was the cost of sending her children to the wrong school.

Certainly, the fact that Ms. Williams-Bolar is a black woman had nothing to do with it,right? Whatever happened to the "no child left behind" that former President Bush kept harping on? Maybe it means don't leave them behind in the wrong school district.

No white parent has ever lied to get their child in a better school because they already go to the BEST schools.

The sad thing is her felony conviction keeps her from being able to get her teacher's license---which she was going to school for. Shame on that school district!

On the other hand, kudos to my school board for not wasting time investigating whether I was lying or not.

In my case, I initially told the truth by asking that my daughter be removed from the school she was attending in the district we lived in because I wanted her to get a quality education and it wasn't happening there. That request was denied. I appealed, went before the school board again with a well thought out lie and my request was APPROVED. To find out what that lie was you can read all about it in my new book, Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie.

I may have to resort to lying again since I now have a grandson coming up in the ranks.

So What Is This Baby Boomer Blog Really About

2011-01-25T09:23:00.000-08:00

More often than not, I get emails from folks who are interested in being a guest blogger or offering something they think would be of value to my readers. Normally, I don't respond to them if I don't think it pertains to me but today I was feeling a little feisty and decided to challenge the recipient to the following email:

Baby Boomer Talk & other stuff
Ms. Beverly Mahone Blogger

Can we interest you in taking a look at this wonderful and unique pregnancy planner? The creator Pam (last name withheld) is also available for interviews.. She is a recognized professional organizer, has lots of really helpful ideas and advice, and is a great guest. If you'd like to receive a review copy, please verify your best street address and let us know how we can help you.

Paul (last name withheld), Publicist for Pam (last name withheld)

PREGNANCY PLANNER??? WHAT?! OK--so there is a picture of a little boy on my blog but he's my grandson and the blog header clearly states BABY BOOMER TALK and other stuff.

So here's what I wrote back:

You obviously haven't taken a look at my website because it has nothing to do with BABIES at all!

To which I received this response:

So sorry for the inconvenience. I work closely with media and try very hard to meet their needs.

You are absolutely correct. I didn’t look at your blog to see if it was a match, since over time I’ve learned that values and focus change so fast as publishers (yes even blog publishers) respond to what their audiences want and like. Basically targeting precisely sometimes is simply a bitch so I hope you can forgive me if we bring you something that’s not strictly in your desired area.

I bet he won't make that mistake again.

Older Women Younger Men

2011-01-24T16:27:00.000-08:00

According to a recent survey by SeniorPeopleMeet.com, Match.com’s online dating site for boomers ages 50+, 94 percent of woman are itching to date a younger man.

Also according to the survey, 71 percent of women have already dated a younger man- with nearly 96% saying they would like to again!

I dated a younger man once. I was 17 and he was 15. It was OBVIOUS even back then that I was much more mature than he was. I was on my way to college. He was trying to pass 10th grade. I was a high school debate champion. His style of debating kept getting him suspended from school. Of course, there was one area where we seemed to be on the same page---or at least that's what I thought until I went to college and started hanging out with young men my own age and older.

According to this survey, I appear to be in the minority when it comes to dating a younger man. I am not a cougar nor do I have a desire to be one. That's because I am perfectly content with what I have, and, yes, he's OLDER.

Celebrity couples like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, and Madonna and Jesus Luz may be the envy of many baby boomer women but my question is, just how long will they be able to hang onto their prey?

All Grandparents Need a Back Up Plan in Case of the Flu

2011-01-23T13:34:00.000-08:00

What's a poor grandparent to do when it comes to taking care the grandkids? If we keep them at home with us 24/7, they drive us crazy. If we send them off to daycare or pre-school, they come home with nasty germs and other bacteria that they are bound to pass on to us.

That's what happened to me last week as I was trying to nurse my grandson back to health from some flu virus he had to receive at his daycare. As he got well, I found myself flat on my back with all kinds of aches, pains, congestion and a headache that wouldn't quit.

The flu virus is usually prominent from October through May, the time of year typically known as "flu season." I should've known that but since I haven't had the flu in more than 10 years, I figured I had to be immuned from it despite all the reports that indicate older adults, young children and people with specific health conditions are at higher risk for serious flu complications.

On average annually in the U.S: 5 percent to 20 percent of the population gets the flu; over 200,000 people are hospitalized from flu complications; and about 23,600 people die from the flu-related causes.

No, I didn't die although there are times I felt like I was on my way.

If you are the primary caregiver of a small child and you get sick make sure you have someone who can help out while you recover. And by all means, make sure your grandchild can stay in a healthier environment so you don't keep passing the germs back and forth.

I was blessed to have a husband to nurse me back to health and the great-grandparents also pitched in by keeping our grandson.

The Chicken Polka Dots

2011-01-17T20:38:00.000-08:00

When I picked up my grandson one day last week from daycare he asked me if he had the chicken polka dots. He sounded really serious about it so so I didn't want to burst out laughing over something that sounded ridiculous to me. I kept digging to try to get to the bottom of his inquiry. He started pointing to his face and then it hit me---he meant the CHICKEN POX.

He told me that's what Little Bill had and he wanted to know if he would get them too.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't thought of childhood diseases since my grown daughter was her son's age but now as his primary caregiver, I must be mindful of them.

If you are a baby boomer grandparent like me, it would be a good idea for you to brushen up on your knowledge of childhood diseases. Here's a site to refresh your memory: Common Childhood Diseases

Smarter than a Kindergartener

2011-01-11T09:05:00.000-08:00

Noth Carolina ranks #23 when it comes to a ranking of the Smartest 50 States. That puts them in the middle of the pack. The ranking doesn't disturb me but what does bother me is a law passed that requires a child to be tested, at the parents expense, if the child misses the August 31 cut-off date.

Here's my dilemna: My grandson turns five less than a week AFTER the cut-off date of August 31. I have been told by a pyschologist that in order for him to be admitted he must take a reading and math test and be in the 99 percentile rate for passing. Basically, he must be SMARTER than a kindergartener. And if he doesn't pass, the $250 we have to pay to get him tested is NON-REFUNDABLE.

That makes absolutely no sense to me---especially since I see kindergarteners who don't know how to read or write.

When I brought this issue up in an informal setting recently, I had one woman tell me she thought it was cruel to push a child ahead because a parent considers their child gifted, advanced, more social, mature or whatever label. She also said she wondered how many parents are just trying to save on the astronomical cost of daycare by pushing a child into school early.

Those of you who know me well know her comments generated a very LIVELY debate and I'm sure I won't be invited to be in her company again----and luckily, there was a referee.

Have You Made Your Stop Doing List?

2011-01-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

Not long after I wrote the previous post, (New Year Old Ways), a fellow blogger commented that she wasn't so much into making a New Year's Resolutions List. She, instead, needed to create a Stop Doing List. Laura believes we can benefit greatly "when we choose to cut things from our lives that no longer serve us."

Yes this makes total sense so here's my STOP DOING LIST for 2011:

1) STOP believing the hype people try to push on me when it comes to their business.

2) STOP associating with people who try to build themselves up by tearing me down.

3) STOP self-doubting my gifts and expertise.

4) STOP believing that everyone has my best interests at heart--because the truth is, some of them don't and will add gasoline to a fire at every opportunity.

5) STOP focusing from the outside-in. The Word says "Let your light shine before men" and that can only come from the inside-out.

6) STOP taking on more projects than I can reasonably handle at one time.

7) STOP being envious and jealous. OK---I know I'm not alone on this one but perhaps I'm the only one who will admit it.

8) STOP spending so much time on the computer. Now, that's a true challenge.

9) STOP ignoring my doctor's orders--that's especially important if I want to live a long time.

10) STOP pushing my daughter to finish college in four years. What's important is that she finishes.

11) STOP pushing my grandson to be smarter than he is. It's one thing to teach him to develop learning skills--but another to give him a nervous breakdown if he can't read, write, spell and do math at the age of four.

12)STOP and exhale when necessary.

What do you need to stop doing in 2011?

New Year Old Ways

2011-01-01T09:38:00.000-08:00

For the first time in several years, I decided not to create a list of New Year's Resolutions. If I did, I would be carrying over many of the things I had on last year's list.

According to Psychology Professor Chris McManus from University College in London in, I am a part of the majority when it comes to people who create "to do" lists but fail to keep them.

Here is a brief summary of what the British Professor says are some of the reasons we fail to follow through on our resolutions:

1 - Sometimes we don’t really want to change.
Think about the goals you set as each New Year approaches. Perhaps you want to walk more, Smoke less, or eat more veggies. Your reasons for doing so may be good, but deep inside you may not really want to make that change at all. The gap between what you hope to accomplish and what you actually wish to do can prevent you from reaching your goal.

2 - Your resolution may be a fantasy.
Many of us have dreams of how our lives can be. Your resolution may only be a wish that you hope to do one day. It is nice to say that you are in favor of changing a certain behavior, but you haven’t made any real commitment to making that change.

3 - You lack a time frame.
It' easy to put off a commitment if you haven’t set a specific time goal. If you really want to keep this year’s resolution, be sure to think about how you plan to fit it into your current schedule. Set a real goal with a starting and end time.

The most interesting thing about all of this is that regardless of how many times we have failed, most of us will make new resolutions next year ad be optimistic--even if just for a little while.

How many New Year's Resolutions have you made good on in your life?

A Grandparent's Truth About Santa Claus

2010-12-19T09:42:00.000-08:00

Recently, my four-year-old grandson asked me if Santa Claus was going to bring him some presents this year. Without hesitation, I told him no.

Unlike me when I discovered there was no Santa Claus (at age 7), my grandson did not break into tears. Instead, he was inquisitive and wanted to know why so I told him point blank: the truth is–there is NO Santa Claus. I went on to explain that his mom, grandparents, nana and papa and other family members are the ones who buy him gifts.

I don’t want my grandson to get it in his head that if he is good all year, some jolly old white man will come and bring him presents. It just doesn’t seem right.

Now I know someone reading this is going to think I'm being racist but I would argue the whole idea of having a white santa claus is racist. It's something that's been embedded in our minds for years with movies, TV specials and in practically every mall in America. Have you ever seen a black santa claus? What would be his commercial appeal and would parents be reluctant to have their precious children sit on his lap?

As a grandparent who has tremendous influence in how my grandson is being raised, I want him to understand the TRUE meaning of the season. It's Jesus' birthday. The gifts he receives are blessings.

Anything beyond that would be a LIE and I'm also trying to teach my grandson about honesty.

Do you think I'm wrong?

Being Prepared for the Unexpected Blessings

2010-12-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

I just returned from a speaking engagement in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was invited to speak about how charter schools can ulitize the media to gain more exposure. I knew that my newly released book, Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie and card game, Don't Ask, had nothing to do with the conference but I decided to pack some--just in case. (I was told in advance that since my book had nothing to do with the conference that I would not be able to sell it in the back of the room).

After dinner Wednesday evening, I suggested the people at my table play the card game for fun. To make a long story short, there was so much laughing and discussion going on, several members of the group wanted to continue to play back at the hotel--which we did until well after midnight (knowing we had to get up and be ready at 7:30am).

The next morning word quickly spread about my card game and I was approached by the head of the Admissions Dept. who wanted to know if I would consider creating a card game for their middle school students, which is roughly 12,000 students. It wasn't what I expected her to say. I told her I would certainly consider it and get back to her.

Needless to say, I am already working on the project.

Here's what I learned from that experience:

1) If you have more than one talent, don't be afraid to share it or use it. I went to the conference as a Media Expert. No one knew I was an author---let alone the fact that I had created a card game.

2) Make the most of every opportunity. NHA may not invite me back next year to talk about media but if I play my cards right (pun intended), I will have gained far greater exposure with this new card game.

3) I am truly learning how to be the gorilla while marketing with ease. (Thanks to Olalah Njenga and Pat Howlett).

The Differences Between Sarah Palin's Daughter and Mine

2010-11-22T17:37:00.000-08:00

I originally wrote much of this post in 2008, but it bears repeating with an UPDATE in light of Bristol's new found so-called celebrity status.

Let me start off by saying the one thing Bristol and my daughter share in common is the fact that they became teenage mothers.

Now the differences:

Family

Bristol comes from a white privileged family, where her mother had a high profile as Governor of Alaska and then became the Republican nominee for Vice-President of the United States. She has three sisters and one brother. Her father is in the home.

Janie comes from a middle class black family where her dad was absent more than he was around. She is an only child. Her mother is a journalist, who left Corporate America because her boss never respected her role as a working mom. (long, unappreciated hours and no opportunity for advancement)

Boyfriend

Bristol’s boyfriend is an 18 year old named Levi Johnson who described himself as an F----- redneck on his MySpace page before it was taken down. He also indicated he did not want children.

Janie’s boyfriend had a bright promising future as an actor or chef before he was murdered the day after Christmas for defending his little sister who was being harassed by a gang banger on a city bus.

Mother's Reaction to Pregnancy

Bristol has received very public support from her mother, who issued a statement saying her daughter was going to keep the baby and marry the baby’s daddy. The wedding date has yet to be announced. Sarah Palin is a staunch supporter of abstinence. How much she told her daughter about sex and having unprotected sex is unknown.

Janie hid her pregnancy for fear of how I would react and, rightfully, so. I was livid! Obviously, all those times I told her to keep her dress down and drawers up fell on deaf ears. I wanted my daughter to weigh all of her options because she had plans to go to college and we all know raising a child can seriously alter your plans.

Future

Bristol’s future remains unclear, although her mother has assured the public the family will stand by Bristol and offer their undying support. One thing we know for sure is she will be a mother in a few months and married to her boyfriend. THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

Janie, meanwhile, is raising her son alone with the love and support of family members on both sides. She is also out to prove the naysayers wrong by pursuing her college education. She is currently enrolled at North Carolina A&T, while grandma takes on the role of Ma.

UPDATE: While Bristol is dancing with the stars and getting strong support from the Tea Party, my daughter is working on her junior year in college and getting strong support from her mother and step father. Bristol is using her mother's new found fame to carve out a piece for herself.

My daughter, meanwhile, has repeatedly said she wants to make her own way in the world and not hang onto my coattails. I respect that but, of course, I will do everything in my power to assist her because she's not dancing her way BLINDLY through life.

Do You Hear What Your Child Hears?

2010-11-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

Recently my husband and I were having a disagreement that escalated into a rather loud discussion. Our grandson, who was in the other room, came running in and told us to stop fighting. We wanted to assure him we weren't fighting--we were just talking loud.

At that moment, I started thinking about this four-year-old's interpretation of what he heard. To him, it sounded like we were fighting even though there was no physical violence involved. He equated fighting with talking loud.

I think sometimes we, as adults, tend to forget that our children are within earshot of we are saying. Or we think the children are too young to understand the content of the argument while neglecting to realize that it's the negative tone of the conversation that kids pick up on. Kids do as we do and not as we say, though we often wish the opposite was true. If they see us resolving disputes with petty arguing, they are going to learn the same tactic.

Psychologist Dr. Kenneth Condrell says when adults are constantly arguing at home, children may respond in the following ways. They may:

•take their anger out on other adults, such as teachers, and have behavior problems in school
•lose respect for their parents’ authority and stop listening to them
•become depressed with thoughts of running away or of suicide
•mistreat their brothers and sisters in ways that are nasty and cruel

We want our grandson to grow up in a happy and healthy environment so we have vowed not to raise our voices in front of him.

Said the little child to his (grand)parents...do you hear what I hear?

Rewarding Parents for Bad Behavior

2010-11-12T14:12:00.000-08:00

I've got a strong suspicion that the court system in Jackson, Mississippi is going to be rewarding some bad parents for their bad children. Three Murrah High School boys' basketball players have sued their coach and the school system over some spankings they say they endured during basketball practice.

The coach was actually caught on camera whipping one of the students. One parent said he sat in on a couple of basketball practices and watched as some of the students were getting hit---but because it wasn't his child--he didn't say anything at the time I guess.

In a written statement Coach Marlon Dorsey said,

I took it upon myself to save these young men from the destruction of self and what society has accepted and become silent to the issues our students are facing on a daily basis. I am deeply remorseful of my actions to help our students.

No doubt this coach probably saw these kids as incorrigible youth--the kind of students who will either not graduate, be unemployed, end up in a jail cell or six feet under. He just wanted to whip them into shape.

While I don't believe it's the coach's responsibility to take it upon himself to knock some sense into his students, I do understand his frustration. Some children are totally out of control. You can blame it on ADD, ADHD or whatever--but they seem to have no respect for education or the authority behind it.

That's where the parents come in. It is THEIR responsibility to crack the whip and they should've done that LONG AGO. That's probably why the situation at Murrah High School escalated to this point.

Some parents have totally neglected their responsibilities as parents. They're either more interested in becoming their child's friend or just not interested at all.

These bad parents and their children in Jackson will probably be rewarded a financial compensation---but when it's all said and done, they probably won't have learned a thing.

Putting Your Business Reputation on the Line

2010-10-27T14:16:00.001-07:00

Whether you realize it or not, your business can succeed or be ruined by social media. All it takes is one person to post a negative commnt or review about the way you do business and it can spread like wildfire.

Most people, however, choose to remain silent about their bad business experiences because it might be viewed as unethical or tacky or fear that people will not want to associate with you because you might also put them on BLAST at some point.

But here's the deal. MORE BUSINESS NEED TO BE EXPOSED FOR BAD BUSINESS PRACTICES. It is unfair for a potential customer or client to have to find out for themselves how bad a company is. This is especially important when conducting business online since the only information we may have about them is what they tell us on a website.

"Hey, let me tell you how you can make $1,000 of extra income a month like I'm doing" Sound familiar?

The problem is some of us tend to let people who don't give us the best customer service off the hook by vowing never to purchase or work with them again.

I'm not doing that. Here's my story about V and E Home Solutions out of Waldorf, MD.

V and E Home Solutions is a Property Management Company. My husband hired them to act as property manager for a home he owns in Upper Marlboro. Their job was to collect the tenant's rent and deposit it into my husband's business bank account, after taking out their fee.

For nearly two year things ran relatively smoothly but then the stink hit the fan last week. Along with a letter notifying us of a change of address, they sent a check from their own account to cover the tenant's rent for two months. We thought it was strange since they normally just make the deposit into this account and send us the deposit slip. A few days after depositing the check, my husband received a notice from the bank indicating the $3312 check had bounced and they tacked on $76 in NSF fees.

Next, my husband called the company several times to try to resolve the matter. He either got a voice mail or the answering service saying they would take a message.

We decided to drive to Maryland to meet with them in person. Since it was obvious they weren't going to respond to my husband's number, I decided to call from my own cell number and guess what? I got a real person and I talked to her. I told her we were on our way to the office and wanted to make sure someone was there so we could resolve this issue.

Four hours later, we arrived at the address given and, can you imagine our surprise when we discovered the new address they claimed they moved to was a UPS store?

We then called back. No answer.

We then drove to their old location and discovered their name was still listed as having an office there. We knocked but got no response.

It was obvious they were avoiding us. I made one more call and left a message advising them if we did not hear from them within 24 hours, the next person they would hear from was our attorney.

As we were driving back to North Carolina, I decided to try calling them again on another cell phone number they hadn't seen before--and guess what? Someone picked up the phone! She claimed she hadn't received any of the previous dozen messages but would be sure to give this message to her boss: Vadie Reese.

Has she called yet? As my mama used to say, "She probably will when hell freezes over!"

My Grandson Swallowed a Penny

2010-10-23T06:13:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago, my grandson was lying in bed watching a movie when he came into our bedroom to make a confession. He didn't want to say it in front of me so he whispered his confession into grandpa Nate's ear.

He swallowed a penny.

Instead of enjoying his popcorn, he decided he wanted to see what it would be like to taste a penny. Since my daughter (his mother) never did this when she was a child, I wasn't quite sure what to do so I called the pediatrician on call and here's what she told me:

Don't worry, unless your child chokes on it, gets sick, complains of persistent abdominal pain, has trouble breathing, or gets a cough and can't shake it. A penny (or even a quarter) can easily pass through the digestive tract and will probably do so within 24-48 hours. If you check his stool, you will probably find it. If you see no evidence that it has passed within 48 hours, then you need to bring him in.

As a grandparent I am still learning new things about children and mighty grateful for the scripture that says, "this, too, shall pass." AMEN

Grandma Prepared to Take on the North Carolina School Board

2010-10-04T13:10:00.000-07:00

Unless I do something within the next year, my grandson is going to have to spend another year in daycare--instead of heading off to kindergarten like he ought to be.

In 2007, a North Carolina state law was passed pushing the birthdate required to enter kindergarten up to August 31. It used to be October 16. My grandson's birthday in September 6.

I have been told I can get him tested at MY expense to see if he would qualify for an early entrance. My expense is the equivalent to several hundred dollars and he must have a passing rate in the 98 percentile. He must be able to read and do math.

So maybe that explain some issues involving some adults I know. They were let into kindergarten before their time.

The following is a list of states and cut-off dates for kindergarten. Your child, grandchild or some else's child you know may also be affected:

Alabama- September 1

Alaska- August 15

Arizona- September 1

Arkansas-September 15

British Columbia, Canada- December 31

California-December 3

Colorado- September 15

Connecticut-January 1

Florida-September 1

Georgia- September 1

Hawaii-December 31

Idaho- September 1

Illinois-September 1

Iowa- September 1 or 15

Kansas-August 31

Kentucky-October 1

Louisiana- September 30 (except Orleans Parish 12/31)

Maine-October 15

Maryland-Entering kindergartners must be 5 by Dec. 31

Massachusetts-September 1

Michigan-December 1

Minnesota-September 1

Mississippi-September 1

Missouri-AUGUST 1 (moved from July 1)

Montana-December 2

Nebraska-October 15

Nevada-September 30

New Hamshire-September 30

New Jersey-November 30

New Mexico

New York-November 30

North Carolina-AUGUST 31

North Dakota- December 2

Ohio-September 30

Oklahoma- September 1

Oregon-September 1

Pennsylvania (dates vary from district to district)

Rhode Island- Variable from September 1 to December 31

South Carolina- September 1

Texas-September 1

Utah-August 31

Vermont-dates vary from 9/1 to 1/1

Virginia-September 30

Washington- August 31

West Virginia- September 1

Wisconsin-September 1

Puerto Rico- September 1

Don't Read Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie IF

2010-09-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

If you are looking for a book that's going to change your life, don't read Don't Ask And I Won't Have to Lie.

If you want to read a book that's going to inspire you to take action, Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie isn't for you.

If you think Don't Ask And I Won't Have to Lie is going to change your lying ways--think again.

Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie may not make you feel good about your life.

Here's the point: Not every book is designed to be a self-help, inspirational, motivational, take action kind of book. Some books are just designed to be enjoyable to read--an opportunity to get inside an author's head and compare your life notes. Some books are just meant to entertain, while others may have you nodding your head in agreement with some of what you read. That's what Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie is all about.

Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie started out as a personal account of a LIE I told that nearly cost me my life. I hope my story serves as a testimony for someone else--but also give you something to think about as you deal with your own truths and untruths.

One thing I will guarantee you is, there will be something in my book that will definitely make you THINK.

You can order a copy of my new book from Amazon.com or directly from my website:
Don't Ask

And there's a cool card game to go with it!

Winning Approval

2010-09-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

This post was inspired by something my grandson said at soccer practice today. After scoring the only goal for his team (who lost 5-1), he asked his mother (my daughter) if he had done good. Of course, she said yes. Then he asked me, "Grandma, did I do good today?" Of course, I said yes, too.

Why he felt the need to ask both of us got me to thinking about his need and desire for affirmation. Even though his team came out on the losing end, he wanted positive reinforcement that he had done good job.

Isn't it interesting how the words spoken to us early in life can influence us for REST of our lives? We could've said, "Yes, you did a great job--but your team still lost." That's saying you were good--just not good enough to win.

So often in life we, as adults, also need affirmation. We have a desire to win approval for the things we've accomplished---not matter how small they might seem.

Sometimes people need to hear a kind word spoken about them, despite the fact that they may not appear to be a kind individual. You never know how the words you speak into their lives---even as adults, can make a positive difference.

Happy Grandparents Day

2010-09-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

Did you know there are more than 70 million grandparents in the United States? I am one of them.

In 1979, President Jimmy Carter signed the official proclamation declaring the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day. That's the same year I graduated from Ohio University. Never thought much about the holiday since my grandparents on both sides were deceased and I wasn't even thinking about becoming a grandmother at the time.

According to the website, Grandparents.com, 43% became grandparents in their fifties, 37% in their forties, with the average age of grandparents in this country at 48. I becme a grandmother at 49. Other stats:

■72% take care of their grandchildren on a regular basis
■13% are primary caregivers
■60% live close to their grandchildren
■46% wish they could live even closer
■70% see the kids at least once a week
■66% travel with their grandkids
■81% have their grandkids for part or all of their summer vacation

On this day, I say Happy Grandparents Day! I salute every grandparent who has stepped up to the plate, sacrificed and helped make the life of a grandchild BETTER.

Are you one of them?

The Case of the Lost Camera

2010-09-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

Today I am trying to wrap my mind around the fact that someone at my grandson's birthday party yesterday could've walked off with my digital camera.

It's not something I want to believe or accept but today it is missing and the last place I remember having it was on one of the picnic tables at the park. I don't want to believe it because everyone invited was either family or friends.

I would rather believe that the camera was accidentally thrown away during the cleanup and someone just didn't realize what it was.

Nevertheless, all of the wonderful pictures we took at my grandson's 4th birthday on Saturday are now gone.

Thankfully, my grandson wasn't stolen or today I would still be on the hunt or in jail.

Welcome to the Real World My Child

2010-08-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

Last week, my daughter returned to college. Instead of going back into the dorms, she decided she wanted her own place so she shopped around and found a nice little apartment about 10 minutes from campus.

What my daughter has quickly learned is having your own place costs money---especially if you like "new" and not "used" and you must do your homework before deciding on the best place for you.

Here are some of the things baby boomer parents can do to help make off campus life a pleasant experience:

Affordability
What can your college student afford? Help them evaluate their budget so they know how much rent they can afford without overextending financially. You might also suggest they consider a roommate, who can split the bills.

Utilities
Your college student should make sure they check to see what, if any, utilities are included as part of the rent. Sometimes landlords will pay for the water and heat for a tenant, whereas other landlords will not pay for any utilities. There are even a few landlords out there who will pay for all utilities for their tenants. This is something your college student should know before renting so that they can estimate their monthly budget accurately.

Location
When checking out apartments, check the location. It should be close to the campus so no one will have to worry about the long commute to class.

Credit Score/Background Check
If you haven't talked to your college student about credit, now's the perfect time. They need to know that when it comes to renting an apartment, there will almost always be a credit report and background check done on them. This is why places have application fees, because it costs money to run these reports. Have too many unpaid bills, or a history of getting into trouble with the law will result in your child being denied. Also, you should explain about co-signers. Because they are probably a first time renter and don’t have much of a history, they will, more than likelt, need a co-signer on the application.

Read the Lease Before You Sign It
Make sure they read every line of the lease before they sign it--and it would be a good idea if you read it too. This is important because it will contain the rules that the landlord requests by which they have to abide. The lease will contain what pets they can have, if any, what utilities they are responsible for, how much their rent is, when a late fee is charged, and what conditions they can break the lease, if at all.

Renters Insurance
Explain the importance of having renters insurance. Renters insurance is fairly inexpensive. This minor expense will insure their valuables against damage from fire or burglary. It is especially important for them to get covered if they have valuable items such as laptops, stereo equipment, and jewelry.

With some discipline and organization, your college student's first apartment renting experience can be satisfying as well as a huge learning experience.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

2010-08-15T10:38:00.000-07:00

My husband and I are a part of a growing trend in America. We are grandparents taking on the role of primary caregivers for our grandson.

My daughter is a rising junior in college and since school is located out of town, we have agreed to raise him in her absence. We are among nearly 6 million grandparents who have grandchildren living with them. and

Here are more numbers from the Census Bureau about grandparent caregivers:

4-out-of-10 grandparents are responsible for the youngsters basic care.

5.8 million, the number of grandparents who live with one or more of their grandchildren under 18 years old.

4 percent, the percentage of people age 30 and older who live with grandchildren. The rate is 8 percent among blacks and Hispanics.

2.5 million, the number of grandparents responsible for most of the basic needs, such as clothing, food and shelter, of one or more grandchildren with which they live.

21 percent, the percentage of preschoolers who are cared for primarily by their grandparents while their mother is employed or in school.

When the Saints Go Marching In

2010-08-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

Oh, when the saints go marching in
Oh, when the saints go marching in
Lord, how I want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in

Based on what I've learned about my grandmother in the last 48 hours, I wonder if that's a song she sang to repent.

I have discovered that my dear sweet grandma wasn't as dear and as sweet as she portrayed herself in her latter years. As a matter of fact, she had quite a reputation in a small Alabama town back in the 1920s. After her husband died, she allegedly found comfort in the arms of other men and ended up having two babies by two different fathers---in addition to the four children she already had.

She took her secrets to her grave---leaving only the gossip about her life to be passed down from generation to generation.

If you want to research your family history, a site I recommend is FamilySearch.org

The Genealogy Search Continues

2010-08-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

On Friday I received a letter from the Alabama Office of Vital Records. This was in response to my $35.50 request to receive a copy of my dad's birth certificate so I could see who my grandmother listed as the father.

Before opening the letter I said a little prayer asking God to prepare me for whatever I might read.

This is what the letter said:

CERTIFICATE OF FAILURE TO FIND

STATE OF ALABAMA
DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC HEALTH

CENTER FOR HEALTH STATISTICS
OFFICE OF VITAL RECORDS

August 4, 2010

I certify that a diligent search of the records in my custody has been completed for the years 1920 - 1934, and no certificate of live birth was found to exist for LEWIS MOTON MAHONE, born July 22, 1926 in Macon County, Alabama, to SAMANTHA CASTON

Signed by Catherine Molchan Donald
State Registrar of Vital Statistics

Another dead end.

Unspeakable Truth

2010-08-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

I spent a good part of my day yesterday searching for clues surrounding the mystery of my father's father.

Because I know my grandmother's maiden name, I was busy trying to find possible relatives who would be connected to her. White Pages and Zabasearch got me only so far by at least providing some recognizable names and addresses, however, the numbers they listed have been disconnected with no new information available.

I then tried to find out more information through the census records--only to find that they send you to ancestry.com, who then turns arounds and makes you pay to find out the information you're looking for.

I did end up paying $35.50 for a copy of my father's birth certificate from the Alabama Dept. of Vital Records. Hopefully, there will be a record on file to shed more light on this mystery.

I don't know what I find more disturbing about this story: The fact that my grandmother, a woman who was crowned a "saint" in her latter years, was fooling around and had TWO children out of wedlock back in the 1920s....or the fact that no one, after all of these years, felt it was important to come clean with their UNSPEAKABLE TRUTH!

Secrets and Lies

2010-08-02T19:14:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, while on Facebook, I was befriended by someone with the same last name. It piqued my curiosity so I explored his page and discovered a "Mahone" family reunion coming up in August. How cool, I thought since I've never been to a family reunion on my father's side. But first, I had to confirm that I was related to this group of Mahones.

What I discovered in the hours following that had my head spinning and left more questions than answers.

I called my cousin in Maryland. She dropped a bombshell. My dad wasn't really a Mahone because the man I had known as "Grandpa Joe" wasn't really his father or my grandfather. Joseph Mahone apparently died about six weeks after my Uncle James was born---and my Uncle James was born nine years before my dad was born.

I will admit that about 30 years ago my Uncle James did mention something about him raising my daddy because he didn't have a daddy but Uncle James liked to drink so I heard what he said but wasn't really listening.

The journalist in me now wishes I had been doing more than listening and that I had grilled him on what the truth was.

I have no idea what my daddy knew or didn't know because he never talked about a father. Whatever he did know he took with him to his grave when he passed away in 1983.

That secret and whatever lies are associated with my dad's birth have also been buried with my grandmother and her siblings because they are all now dead as well.

What in the world could've been going in in 1925-26?

Change Happens

2010-07-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

This week the largest tree in our front yard toppled over during a rain storm. Although it destroyed my beautiful rose bush and was a total mess to clean up, it didn't cause any property damage and there were no injuries.

What was so surprising about this is the fact that no other trees in our neighborhood were damaged. Was this a sign? A sign of what?

After spending two days cutting and clearing the debris, our house now has a new look. That picturesque view seems so naked without that tree and my lovely red rose bush.

Losing that tree is a reminder that CHANGE HAPPENS.

That tree has changed the landscape of our home. It wasn't a decision we made. It was a decision made for us by Mother Nature.

The point is this: Throughout our lives, change will happen. One day we are single--then we are married. One day we are young--then we grow old. One day we have a job--the next day we may not. One day you're on top of the world--the next day the world's on top of you. One day your tree will be standing--the next day it will fall....and so on and so forth.

It's best to be prepared for the unexpected---but even if you aren't prepared, be ready to deal with the aftermath.

Living in Fear

2010-07-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 1999 at the age of 42. My father died of heart disease in 1983 at the age of 52.

In January of 2009, I started living in fear---fear that I would not live to see the age of 53---just like my dad.

Before being diagnosed with congestive heart failure, I assumed my symptoms were the result of menopause. I started experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms in my early 40s and went into full-blown menopause at 50. I’m writing this to tell you, DO NOT MAKE THAT ASSUMPTION. If you experience any of the following symptoms, you may be experiencing heart failure in addition to menopause:

•Shortness of breath during physical activity or even while lying in bed
•bloating
•a sudden weight gain ( I chalked this up to a slow down in metabolism)
•swollen feet, ankles or legs
•fatigue or weakness
•confusion or decreased alertness (I was calling this “meno-moments.”
•nausea or loss of apetite
•rapid or irregular heartbeat
•the need to urinate more often during the night
•waking up due to shortness of breath
•frequent cough or wheezing
•swollen neck veins (I thought this was solely related to my thyroid disorder)

When your heart isn’t pumping properly, blood from the lungs or from the rest of the body backs up—similar to the way traffic backs up at rush hour. So get out of your traffic jam, visit your doctor and get your heart checked. You owe it to yourself to get to the heart of the matter.

I'm happy to report that I made it past 52 this year but I'm not taking anything for granted.

Being a Sperm Donor Doesn't Make You a Daddy

2010-06-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

My husband isn't the father of my child but he deserves to be honored on Father's Day. He has been more like a dad than my daughter's biological father ever was.

We are a part of an ever growing number of blended families in this country. According to statistics, over fifty percent of US familieis are re-married or re-coupled and 1300 new stepfamilies are forming every day.

Here are some other interesting statistics from the National Fatherhood Initiative:

•Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.

•Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.

•24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.

•Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.

•43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.

•Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.

•About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father's home.

•Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.

Kids Say the Darndest Things about God

2010-06-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

As a part of the nurturing process I talk to my three-year-old grandson about Jesus and God. While I'm not trying to make him "religious", I do want him to grow up and understand how important God is in all of our lives.

Afrer church this morning, we went to brunch. Before we ate, we blessed the food (as we always do). After tasting his eggs, Jarod said, "This food is good. Thank you God."

When we got home, I decided to lay down because I didn't feel too well. Jarod came into my room and said, "Grandma, you don't feel well?" I said, "No. I'm just going to lie down and get some rest for a little while."

As he was walking out of my room he said, "I'm gonna ask Jesus if you can come sleep with Him."

"No, no," I replied. "I think I'd like to just sleep in my own bed for now."

I couldn't help but smile through the tears.

Marriage The Second Time Around

2010-06-05T07:01:00.000-07:00

Is marriage really better the second time around? As one who falls into that category, I say absolutely! I'm very excited and feel blessed to have been given another opportunity to love again.

Isn't it interesting how differently we think when we're young as opposed to when we grow older and wiser? When I look back over my younger days, I realize I spent way too much time craving the WRONG man for all of the RIGHT reasons. I wanted to feel love, to be loved, and to give love in return but the sex clouded my judgement in making sure I was choosing the right mate.

One of the beautiful things about growing older is it gives us the benefit of wisdom. That, in turn, allows us to make smarter choices. As for me, I'm smart enough not to believe in love at first sight anymore. One reason being, I don't see quite as well as I used to. I'm also smart enough to be more discriminating in my taste. I've learned how to weed out the imitation from the real thing.

So now I'm happy to say God has blessed me with a new love. He's a man who's strong enough to deal with my strengths, yet gentle enough to understand and cope with my emotional stress and strife. I'm totally enjoying my second marriage and yes, it makes lusting after him even better!

Excerpts taken from Chapter Two of my book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age

Running Out of Options

2010-05-29T06:30:00.000-07:00

In 1996, I started boycotting Mobil Oil for disparaging racial comments made during an Executive Board Meeting.

In 1999, I stopped buying gas at Exxon because of the Valdez oil spill and the slap on the wrist given to the captain on the ship.

Now, it looks like I'm going to have to add BP to that list. What happened in April is nothing short of a catastrophe. From the beginning of this mess, I knew it was bigger than it was being reported. The media was spoon fed information and went with it until BP officials could no longer deny the mess they created.

The BP Spill not only affects the livelihood of fishermen on the Gulf Coast, it also affects seafood lovers like me who live thousands of miles away.

The BP spill is one also more example as to why we MUST find alternative means to oil.

Paying Your Tithes Online

2010-05-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

When I went to church on Sunday, the Pastor made an announcement that kind of surprised me. He told the congregation we could now pay our tithes online.

I assume this is a trend more and more churches are following, which makes it easier to collect the one-tenth we are supposed to give from the financial blessings God has given us.

Why should paying our tithes online be any different than paying our bills online? Paying our bills online not only saves us a stamp but it also saves us gas money since we don't have to drive to the location to pay in person.

Is that what's going to happen with the church? Are some of us going to start paying our tithes online so we don't have to drive to the House of God to pay in person?

Paying online seems like an "opt out" clause to me. You can still honor your tithing commitment, without having to be in church. Will this trend form a new generation of the Bedside Baptists.

What do you think?

Baby Boomers and The Country Club Mentality

2010-05-08T06:05:00.000-07:00

Prior to leaving campus for the summer my daughter asked me to come visit so I could go apartment hunting with her.

Much to my surprise, every apartment complex she liked at had a pool and fitness center. The landscaping was impeccable and some were gated communitities---which means a security guard had to approve your entrance. Rent ranged from $595 to $800.

My, how college life has changed!

My first apartment in college was on the upper floor of a two bedroom house. It wasn't in the best condition but it was liveable and it was quiet. It had a stove and refrigerator but no fancy carpet and certainly no pool in the back yard. My fitness workout was the distance I had to walk from my apartment to campus. My rent was $100/mo plus utilities.

OK, so that was more than 30 years ago and I do understand the cost of living and all but what happened to the little mom and pop landlords who just want to help out students who are trying to advance in life? Do they exist anymore?

But then I thought maybe that's not the issue. Maybe my daughter didn't seek them out because she has become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. She has never known what "second hand" is or had to live in a less than desireable home. She grew up with a country club mentality because of her parents.

I believe we, as baby boomer parents, have to look at ourselves when it comes to how our children are growing up. Many young people today feel a sense of entitlement. Why? Because we have given it to them. A lot of them have no clue as to what it's like to struggle for anything because we constantly provide for them---even to a fault.

To my daughter's credit though, she does have a job and has been operating on a budget. She is also mindful of the fact that she has a son for whom she must provide for.

By the end of our apartment hunting, she came to the conclusion that she needed to give it more thought and work out a financial plan.

Pretty smart for a young lady who came from a country club mentality.

3 Rules for Work

2010-04-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

Each day as I'm driving my grandson to daycare, I feel it necessary to reinforce the Grandma Rules for Daycare.

1) "Don't let Miss Candy have to call me about your behavior."

2) "Don't be mean to others and make sure you share."

3) "Have a good day!"

Today, this little three-year-old decided to give ME some rules as I was preparing to meet a client.

1) He said, "Don't get in a fight with nobody."

2) "If you get some popcorn make sure you share it with everybody."

3) "Have a good day!"

Yes, our children do watch and listen.

Don't Let the Lack of Gray Hair Fool You

2010-04-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

I used to believe stress was the reason our hair turned gray but if that was, indeed, the case I'd have a headful about right now.

But don't let the lack of gray hair fool you.

Being the primary caregiver for my three-year-old grandson is as challenging as any obstacle course I would ever compete in. My physical and mental abilities are called into question EVERY DAY. No, he's not a bad child by any means---because grandma don't play that---but he is so full of energy and life and seems to be on overdrive from the moment he wakes up until it's time to go to bed at night. And even then, it's a fight to get him to actually get in bed and close his eyes. Poor grandma has to resort to lying about a make-believe bogeyman who will take him away if he doesn't go to sleep.

OK, so here's what I've discovered...Stress won't turn hair white overnight. That's an old wives' tale. But according to Tyler Cymet, a researcher at Sinai Hospital of Baltimore, consistent mental and physical stress—over the course of many years—may cause premature aging of the body, including hair.

Hair turns gray when the cells that produce pigment stop doing their job. Stress doesn't directly cause these cells to bow out, but it does affect how quickly hair is shed. The faster hair falls out and regrows, the more quickly pigment cells break down.

Cymet thinks that on average people today are going gray about five years earlier than they did in 1970. He attributes the difference to a faster lifestyle, poor diet and lack of sleep.

Like I said, don't let the lack of gray hair fool you.

The Tea Party May Be for Boomers But Not For Babies

2010-04-20T16:08:00.000-07:00

Last month, my three-year-old grandson joined our neighborhood youth soccer league. I wanted him involved in some type of sport so he could burn off some energy and learn how to play with others. So far---so good.

But what I have come to discover is, his coach---"Coach John"---is a proud member of the Tea Party. You know them---the gun toting, we don't like anything President Obama does, Sarah Palin supporters who are stockpiling weapons and daring anyone to take away their second amendment rights.

How did I find this out? When I created a Facebook Fan Page for the soccer group the other day, I invited everyone involved to become a fan. He did. I then went to his profile page and read his comments and also saw the people he was connected too--very scary.

This is certainly not someone I would want to be an influence in my grandson's life but so far, he hasn't been anything but decent and helpful to the kids, who are mostly African American.

I'm writing this post as an advisory to parents and grandparents. With social media being as prevelant as it is today, you can find out about anybody with a little research. Do your homework and know who your children are associating with---even if it's for the little activities like soccer.

The High Cost to Live

2010-04-10T05:35:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago my 90-year-old mother in law was diagnosed with lung cancer. According to her son/my husband, she never smoked a day in her life so this was surprising news. But that's not what this blog is all about.

This blog is about the prescription charges associated with treating this form of cancer. The doctor who treated her during her stay in the hospital wrote a prescription for a drug called Tarceva and told us the cost for a 30-day supply would be between $5,000 and $7000 depending on her insurance coverage. Medicare, we were told, doesn't cover the expense because it is an experimental drug. We were also told there was no guarantee with the medication. It might prolong her life for six months.

My first question is, what ingredients could be in a pill that would warrant charging that much money?

My mother in law is 90-years-old and spent her entire career as a nurse. If she is being used as a guinea pig, why isn't the drug FREE?

How can a drug company in good conscious charge such an outrageous price for medication knowing the average person who needs it can't afford it?

As caregivers, we don't want to be put in a position where we have decide to let our loved one die because we can't afford the meds.

There are literally thousands of baby boomers just like us who are caring for aging parents and are facing similar situations. Please let us hear from you

And as for those people who remain adamantly opposed to health care reform, may God save you from yourself.

My Local Pharmacy versus Prescriptions By Mail

2010-03-18T14:15:00.000-07:00

I went to my local pharmacy yesterday and found myself paying $25 more this month for my medication. When I questioned why, the pharmacist said he really didn't know and advised me to contact my insurance company directly to find out what was going on.

I did just that and discovered the extra money I paid was considered a penalty. My insurance company penalized me for patronizing my local pharmacy instead of using the prescriptions by mail plan. Apparently, I can only go to my local pharmacy so many times before the insurance company tacks on their version of a fine. The plan, according to the insurance company, is the one agreed upon by my husband's employer so they are just enforcing it. Is this a part of health reform?

So now, instead of having one on one contact with my local pharmacist, I will be at the mercy of my local mailman. I wonder if he will know what I should do in case of an emergency.

Do you use prescriptions by mail? If so, does it work better for you?

Mind Your Own Business Boomer Grandma

2010-03-02T14:52:00.000-08:00

I witnessed a theft at the Family Dollar Store today. I think I was more shocked than anything to see this pre-school age child sneak a giant-sized lollipop into one of the store bags while the store clerk was ringing up her mother's items and the mother was busy chit-chatting on her cell phone. The little girl did it so slyly that it made me believe she has done it before or at least seen someone else do it.

As they were headed out the door, I told the clerk about the theft and the little girl was apprehended and the lollipop taken away. She started to cry. I could only think to myself, "If she were my grandchild, I'd be giving her something to cry about," and I would've done it right inside the store to make a point in front of others.

But then the unthinkable happened. When I walked out of the store, the little girls's mother starting cursing at me and told me I needed to mind my own f------ business! She told me I had no right to stick my nose in a place it didn't belong and since I didn't work there what difference should it make to me.

I just told her if she taught her child right from wrong now, the judicial system won't have to deal with her in a few years. She then told me to kiss her black ---.

I walked to my car trying to make sense of what just happened. Where was this mother's morals and values? Maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut. After all, it was only a lollipop. Or better yet, I could've just paid the clerk for it myself so they wouldn't lose money.

This baby boomer wants to know what would you have done under the same situation?

Life's an Interesting Trip on Facebook

2010-02-27T08:44:00.000-08:00

For the past several months I have been re-connecting with old high school and college classmates from the '70s via Facebook. Some of these people were truly my friends, while others had very little to say to me back then because I wasn't a part of their "in crowd."

As I read through some of their posts I am somewhat amazed that these are the SAME people I knew back then. Back then some were ready to kick my butt over the smallest of things. Some just didn't like me because of my skin complexion or the fact that I made good grades while others were simply jealous over the fact that I made the cheerleading squad and they didn't.

These re-connections have made me realize a few things:

Kids really do grow up.

Thank God there is a God and some of my former classmates have discovered the Bible.

Holding on to old grudges serves no purpose--besides the other person has probably long forgotten what the dispute was all about.

Real maturity comes when you learn to start judging others from the inside out instead of vice versa.

Everyone deserves a second chance to be a better person.

It's still nice to be remembered.

Join me as a I take another trip down memory lane on Sunday, February 28 during my interview with a former high school school mate who went on to have a successful NFL career.

BlogTalk Radio 7pm EST.

Being From Ohio is Not All Good

2010-02-20T06:38:00.000-08:00

I grew up in Ohio. I have always been proud of that fact until I read the list of America's Most Miserable Cities, as reported by Forbbes.com. It seems Ohio holds the dishonor of having not one---not two---but FIVE cities on that list.

1. Cleveland
9. Canton
12. Akron
15. Toledo
18. Youngstown

Although my hometown of Canton is known for the Football Hall of Fame and birthplace of President William McKinley, the city was cited for have a low population of intellectuals. According to Forbes.com, only 18 percent of adults living there have a college degree. I guess a lot of people followed my lead in the 1970s and migrated elsewhere after graduating from college.

Akron may be the home of Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James but that's obviously not enough to keep it off the miserable list. Apparently Akron has some of the highest local income taxes in the state.

Youngstown was a miserable city when I was living there 30 years ago but it's apparently gotten worse. It was cited as being high in political corruption.

And then there's Cleveland. In spite of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and a revitalized downtown waterfront, the mistake by the lake, according to Forbes.com, is touting high crime and high unemployment and beyond miserable winters.

To see the complete list of America's Most Miserable Cities, click here: Miserable Cities

The Storm Isn't Over Yet

2010-02-05T13:13:00.001-08:00

Last weekend, a snowstorm swept across North Carolina. We got about six inches. Schools were closed and city services came to a halt for a few days. Most of the snow is now gone, but the storm isn't over yet. Right now I am storming mad over the fact that the City seems to be dragging its feet on a hazard created sometime after the snowfall.

OK here's the story.......

My daughter came home from college today and discovered the storm drain cover in front of our house had been removed. Upon further investigation, my husband discovered that the storm drain cover had broken in half. How could this be? It was perfectly fine last Saturday when he and our neighbor's friend, Ray, were shoveling snow.

We called the city to report the situation and were told the projected completion date would be April 26. OK, that's two and a half months away! My husband pointed out the fact that we have children who play in the area---children that include my three-year-old grandson. That didn't seem to give them a sense of urgency.

Now if I lived in an undesirable neighborhood, I might understand how and why the City would take so long to respond---but I live in a middle class community, where people actually vote so maybe it's time to use that as leverage.

Personally I think the culprit was the road grader the city sent to our street FIVE DAYS AFTER THE STORM, to scrape up the pavement.

Let There Be Light

2010-01-29T18:04:00.000-08:00

About two years ago, I called City Hall to ask them to send someone out to repair a street light that had apparently blown a bulb. At that time, someone said they would take care of it---but never did. I called again several weeks later and was told they received tons of repair requests and would get to mine as soon as possible.

Time passed and I forgot about that light until today. Much to my surprise there was a repair truck in our neighborhood right in front of that light. When I approached the repairman I told him I couldn't believe it took them over two years to finally answer my call. He told me if wasn't MY call he was responding to. It was actually my neighbor, Kathy, whose call he was responding to.

When Kathy came home from work I made it a point to thank her for getting some action taken on that light---and much to my surprise again---she had no clue as to what I was talking about. She never even knew the light needed fixing. Imagine that!

Maybe she didn't remember because she called years ago like I did.

But here's the point of this story: When you contact city government, always be sure to get a NAME of everyone you speak to so you can always refer back to that person. And it wouldn't hurt to write down the dates and times you call. Had I done those things I would've had more ammunition for an argument.

Meanwhile, I'm just glad our street light is working again.

Whose to Blame When Children Fail?

2010-01-22T16:23:00.001-08:00

This week a former principal in my community died from an apparent heart attack. Earl Pappy was 51. I met him once in 2008 when I brought actress Bern Nadette Stanis to his school to speak to the drama students. (pictured on the left of Ms. Stanis). My first and only impression of him was he was nice. But that's not what this post is about.

Mr. Pappy was forced to resign last year because of his school's continued low academic performance ranking. Of all of the high schools in the area, Hillside was dead last. The school had been on the steady decline for several years. Mr. Pappy was supposed to change all that when he moved from the same position in Richmond, VA. It didn't happen and parents complained LOUDLY.

Here's my question: If high school students can't read or perform academically on the high school level, is that the Principal's fault? If students came into the school with a behavior issue, is the principal responsible?

By the time students get to high school,they should have it pretty much together. I say try going back to grade school level--maybe an elementary teacher should've held the child back when she discovered he couldn't read, write or add. Or better yet, try going into some of the homes of these same parents who were doing all of the complaining. That's where you'll find many of the failures.

Parents want to blame teachers for their childrens shortcoming. Yes, I definitely think teachers should be held accountable, however, it's also up to parents to stay on top of things to make sure their children are getting what they need. If you wait to high school, that's way too late.

If a parent wants to blame one individual for their child's failures, maybe they should look in the mirror.

The Challenge of Raising a Black Male

2010-01-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

My daughter returned to college this week after a three week holiday break. Having her home gave me a much needed vacation from her three-year-old son.

But now I am wearing the mommy/grandma hat again and dealing with a growing, inquisituve and challenging little boy. At three, he is now starting to test his limits and testing my nerves.

This means he is beginning to defy authority and assert his growing independence. Everything I've read indicates I should recognize that this is a developmental stage. Frequent eruptions and disobedience can be a sign of a strong-willed child, the experts say, and being strong-willed is not such a bad thing in today’s world.

Does this also apply if the child is a black male?

Some of my well-meaning friends don't take too kindly when I bring up race as a factor in how my grandson will be treated in the future. But when CNN does a story indictating that most employers say they would rather hire a white male who's a convicted felon over an African-American male with no criminal background, I have to wonder how my grandson's strong-willed manner will play out in society in the future.

Whether you want to admit or accept it, the playing field is not level for black males in this society, so it's up to me to make sure that strong will my grandson exhibits now, will be something positive and powerful in his future.

Ugly Sweaters at Christmas

2009-12-22T13:10:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again when we decorate our homes with a beautiful Christmas tree and festive lights. Then you have some of us who choose to decorate ourselves with some of the ugliest sweaters ever seen and then parade around town as if we were in a fashion show.

Today while shopping at Costco's I saw some of the most hidious looking sweaters I'd ever seen--and they were all worn by baby boomer women! I obviously didn't get the memo on this one and if I did, I'm glad I didn't read it.

One woman actually had on a sweater with blinking light bulbs. To top things off, another woman wore her reindeer sweater with a matching antler hat. Now I think if these sweaters had been worn by children, I might've been more inclined to say how cute they looked but when you're in your 50s and 60s, maybe it's time to give up that tradition---unless you're wearing it in the privacy of your home or just for family and friends.

I tried to find three similar sweaters to give you an illustration of what I saw today. Which one do you think is the UGLIEST--or have you actually seen worst?

I Was a Victim of Pornography Spam

2009-12-18T18:25:00.000-08:00

Imagine my surprise when I went to my mailbox the other day and got more than my eyes had bargained for! Here's a short video clip of that tells my story:

Has Tiger Woods Messed Things Up for ALL Men

2009-12-04T07:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I found myself threatening to check my husband's cell phone for any suspicious numbers all because of Tiger Woods. Now, don't get me wrong. I have absolutely NO reason to mistrust my husband but I did become somewhat concerned after calling him several times, leaving messages and getting no response for a few hours. Certainly, many women can attest to the fact that a few hours can seem like an eternity if suspicion and doubt start creeping into your mind.

When he finally called me back, he told me he had left his phone in the car and didn't feel like going back to get it once he got into the office. I told him I would be checking his phone when he got home to see if there were some strange numbers in it (like Tiger's wife did). He said, "Tiger has messed things up for ALL men!" We got a chuckle out of that--but to be honest, when a scandal like that breaks--all of a sudden many husbands become a suspect. And maybe, righfully so--according to Donny Deutsch (from the Big Idea of MSNBC). The other night on Larry King, Deutsch said the scandal will only make Woods seem more human and thus even more desirable as an endorser. He also said Tiger hasn't done anything that at least 50 percent of men have done.

Really?

Maybe there is some truth to that. Remember Presidential Candidate John Edwards, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, President John F. Kennedy and yes, even my first husband is in that group. But unlike the others, my ex didn't have enough money to make me want to stay.

The History of Black Friday

2009-11-26T15:03:00.000-08:00

For the past couple of weeks, the media and retailers have been promoting "Black Friday." This is the day after Thanksgiving when stores supposedly slash their prices to give customers great deals leading into Christmas.

What I find interesting is that the word "black" is used. Now I understand black is used to indicate financial profits while red reflects financial losses but how many people know that "Black Friday" started out as a negative?

Originally, September 24, 1869 was deemed Black Friday; a day of stock market catastrophe. In the 1960's, the Philadelphia Police Dept. used the term "Black Friday" to refer to the massive traffic jams and over-crowded sidewalks as the downtown stores were mobbed from opening to closing. Police officers were not happy about the fact that they would have to "protect and serve" these shopaholics.

Many merchants objected to the use of a negative term to refer to one of the most important shopping days in the year so they came up with an alternative theory---which the media bought into. The perception would be that retailers traditionally operated at a financial loss for most of the year (January through November) and made their profit during the holiday season, beginning on the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday, under this theory, is the beginning of the period where retailers would no longer have losses (the red) and instead take in the year's profits (the black).

Isn't it amazing how we can be brainwashed into believing a theory? If they can do that with "Black Friday" certainly "black" can be reflected as a positive in other ways don't you think?

School Fundraising Project Comes Under Fire

2009-11-19T18:55:00.000-08:00

It was supposed to be a fundraiser to help the school generate some much needed money for supplies:

Rosewood Middle School price list

♦A $20 donation buys 10-point credits to be used on two tests of the student's choice.

♦A $30 donation buys the test points and admission to a 5th-period dance.

♦A $60 donation buys students test points, the dance invitation, and a "special 30-minute lunch period with pizza, drink and the choice to invite one friend to join them."

♦Photo ops with Rosewood principal Susie Shepherd, the vice principal, and a home room teacher go for $75. The photos will be posted on a school bulletin board and on the school's Web site.

The Principal thought it was a good idea when it was recommended to her by the parent advisory council but District School Administrators had the last say and nixed the idea. Some said exchanging grades for money teaches children the wrong lessons. It is also a bad testing practice and is unfair to students whose parents can't pay.

But some parents were willing to pay to help the school raise some much needed funds because last year's fundraising efforts of selling chocolates didn't raise one dime.

So what do you think? Would you pay to help your child earn extra credit in school--especially if they really needed it?

Sad Ending to the Shaniya Davis Story

2009-11-17T09:41:00.000-08:00

I, like many others in North Carolina, am shocked, saddened and even outraged over the death of little Shaniya Davis. This is the five-year-old who was being used as a sex slave by her mother, 25-year-old Antoinette Davis. Shaniya's body was discovered Monday in a rural area---several days after her mother reported her missing from their mobile home.

Here's the timeline according to Fayetteville Police:

Davis called police at 6:53 a.m. one week ago today to report that her daughter was missing.

Davis told police the last time she saw the child was at 5:30 a.m. inside their mobile home.

At 6:11 a.m. that day, a surveillance camera at a Sanford hotel recorded Shaniya in the arms of a man identified as Mario Andrette McNeill, 29, of Fayetteville.

On Monday, police said McNeill left the hotel with Shaniya at 7:30 a.m.

In a news release issued today, Fayetteville Police say Shaniya was alive when she left a Sanford motel. What happened between then and yesterday's discovery is still a mystery.

Meanwhile, Anotinette Davis sits in jail charged with human trafficking and felony child abuse. Her mother is maintaining her innocence, saying her daughter would never do anything to hurt her child. Let me say this, never say what your children won't do because they will make a liar out of you. Just ask me. I could've sworn my teenage daughter wasn't having sex but now I have a grandson.

One more sick piece of this horrific story is the fact that this human trafficking, child abusing mother is PREGNANT AGAIN!

Your First Job

2009-11-03T16:53:00.001-08:00

Viewers of WFAA-TV in Dallas got a real treat today when they got to see the Queen of Daytime TV on their TV screen. Oprah co-anchored the 5pm news. This was all a part of her "Celebrities Go Back to their First Jobs" segment.

Actually, being a TV anchor wasn't Oprah's first job. According to her website,her first job was really in Nashville where she worked at the corner grocery store next to her father's barber shop. I guess the grocery store isn't there anymore.

It got me to thinking about my very first job. It was for a marketing company who sent out advertising mailers to residents. I was hired to "stuff" envelopes. I think I made about $3.00 an hour--which was a pretty big deal for a high school students in 1974.

My first job out of college was at WCIR Radio in Beckley, West VA. It was also my first experience with racism. To make a long story short, the sheriff at the time refused to give me information on a story I was covering and told me, quote, "I don't have to tell you nothin' little Missy. I think you might be in the wrong job. Your kind don't belong here."

I complained to my boss about the sheriff's behavior and the next thing I knew I was fired. I did have the last word in the matter. I sued the station for discrimination through the EEOC (which was actually effective back then) and WON! I got a decent little settlement and moved on.

So what was your first job?

The Road Map of Life for College Students

2009-10-02T17:00:00.000-07:00

Ever since my daughter was little, I always wanted her to see the best that America has to offer. That's why we traveled a lot. As a baby boomer mom and journalist who's been there and done that, I figured if she is going to be one of the future leaders of our great nation, it would be in her best interest to learn more than what she reads in a text book.

Even now that she's in college I tell her not keep herself couped up in her dorm room--get out and explore the new town she's living in. It's not only an adventure, but you never know when you just might have an emergency that will call for you to respond and react in a hurry.

Case in point: A few weeks back when my college daughter called me, it was obvious she wasn't feeling well. Her voice was raspy and she was extremely congested. She went on to tell me she felt so bad one night, she couldn't even sleep. I told her she probably needed to see someone--like a doctor. She told me she didn't trust going to the campus clinic. I then suggested she go to the local hospital's ER--to which she replied, "I don't know where it is." Then she went on to explain how she called several of her NC A&T Aggie friends during the wee hours of the morning to see if they knew where the local ER was and none of them knew either.

I could see it if she had an excuse--like NO CAR---but she has a vehicle and certainly drives it to get to the Mall, to get her nails and eyebrows done, so why is it she doesn't know where the hospital is.

So I had to think...where did I fail as a baby boomer parent that would cause my daughter to lie in bed and suffer as opposed to taking initiative and finding it on her own.

Of course, she continues to prove she is my daughter and would have the last word in this story: "If you had just bought me a GPS Navigator, I wouldn't have had this problem."

My thought: Choose better friends who know WHERE they're going in life! Or maybe she should've gone to Ohio University!

My Grandson's Birthday Makes Me Think...

2009-09-06T13:50:00.000-07:00

On September 6, my grandson, Jarod, turned three-years-old. Just like most children, he had a birthday party filled with family and friends.

What I love about my grandson is he will play with anybody. Unlike adults, he doesn't see race or sex--he just enjoys the idea of being a sociable little boy. That's why I so appreciate the fact that he has white playmates who also appreciate him for just being someone they like to play with.

But here's the deal. That is going to change at some point. Jarod is going to grow into a black male who may become someone whites are fearful of for no other reason than his skin color. The police may taunt him--may even shoot him and blame it on him. Jarod may even be shut out of getting jobs just because of his race and gender.

This is the world we, as baby boomers, have helped create. We talk about being the greatest generation ever--we helped make a difference with civil rights when we were young. But then we grew up and became greedy bank CEO's, scandalous politicians, Bible thumpin' preachers preaching hate from the pulpit. Surely you've heard the comments made by Tempe, Arizona Baptist preacher, Steven L. Anderson, about President Obama: “I'm not gonna pray for his good. I'm going to pray that he dies and goes to hell"

So here I am, as a baby boomer grandmother, trying to be hopeful for her grandson's future; still wanting to believe there is more good than evil in the world. Some people say we've come such a long way from where we were before with a black president and all. But have we really?

I ask the same quetion as Dr. Mike: Would Barack Obama have been elected president had he had Stantavious and D’Marquez as sons, as opposed to Sasha and Malia as daughters?

May God save our young black males...

The Old Fashioned Ways Still Work

2009-08-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

Now that I am back to being the primary caregiver for my two-year-old grandson, (while his mom is away at college), I am back to keeping up with his day-to-day routine.

I am also doing my best to keep him relatively germ free as we move into flu season. One thing I must've forgotten over the years is how cold and flu season keeps a child sneezing, coughing and a runny nose to boot.

As a baby boomer mom and grandmom, I didn't grow up with hand sanitizers (that I don't personally think work). The old fashioned remedy of keeping yourself germ free comes from washing your hands with good old soap and water. But the key is teaching your children and grandchildren the PROPER way to do it.

I've added a little video with my grandson to demonstrate the right way.

Career Advice I Never Forgot

2009-08-21T14:45:00.000-07:00

I recently read a very good article by a guy named Steve Toback on how advice given by others helped shape his career. He outlined 10 pieces of advice he was given over the years.

It got me to thinking about my own life and career path. As I reflect, I have come to realize that a lot of advice I received early on was NEGATIVE but it actually pushed me to strive harder to achieve my goals.

Here are some of the things people have said to me over the years that stuck with me and helped play a role in the person I have become.

"If you think affirmative action is going to get you a job--you better think again and get your act together in the classroom!" Professor Ralph Izard Ohio University.

I do believe affirmative action got me my first job at WCIR Radio in Beckley, W. VA and affirmative action also allowed me to sue them for discrimination (and WIN!)

"You just don't have what it takes to make it in this market" Comment made by the late Bill Knowles, News Director of WCTI-TV.

The following week I was hired by the competition and stayed there 5 years, while being promoted to weekend fill-in anchor. I was given the opportunity to remind Mr. Knowles of his comment about a year before he died.

"If you get down on your luck, you can always come home again but just don't think about staying too long." My mother--Lillian Mahone.

"You're just watching yourself grow up." My mother AGAIN--commenting on my daughter's behavior when I called her to complain.

"You don't have to be asleep to dream." Mrs. Harriet Weaver--one of my high school speech coaches.

"You are so articulate." From various people throughout my young adulthood. Why wouldn't I be??? I was a speech and debate champion in high school and college.

"Your talent is God's gift to you. How well you develop it is your gift to God." I can't remember who shared this with me during my teens but I have never forgotten it and strive daily to give back.

"I tried it once. It didn't do anything for me" My dad's comments after finding a "joint" in my bedroom one weekend while I was home from college. That's all he ever said about it and I just thought he was the coolest dad after that.

"I hated my mother." Comments from ex husband. Should've been a red flag warning but I was thinking with my heart--not my head.

"Women who behave don't make history." Said to me by former news director, Rob Elmore, during an editorial meeting.

So what memorable comments have helped shaped you?

New School Year Brings New Unusual Changes

2009-08-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

The summer is officially over for my 19-year-old daughter who will begin her sophomore year at North Carolina A&T University on Monday. It's been quite a three months for her. She held down two summer jobs but still managed to spend some much needed and QUALITY mother-son time with her soon-to-be-three-year-old. It took a load off of me, I must admit.

Today, we sent her packing to college ---as we tagged along. She's staying in the same dorm (co-ed) she stayed in last year--but there is a change. She will have three roommates instead of two. She didn't like her last year roomie, causing them to part company before the school year was over.

Another change is her Resident Assistant---also known as the R.A. This is the person who oversees a section of the dorm to make sure students are abiding by the rules. But here is my question: Is NC A&T abiding by the rules by allowing a young man to police these young women? But here's the catch. This young man is actually a boy-turned-girl so are there any rules for that?

My daughter felt it was necessary to inform me of this fact and added that everyone knew his/her story so it wasn't a big deal.

My, oh my, how college has changed! I guess the good thing is, parents won't have to worry about him chasing after their daughters. He'll probably just look to them for fashion tips.

Who Cares About Elder Abuse Part II

2009-07-31T19:07:00.000-07:00

It's situations like this that make me appreciate my training as a journalist. I've learned how to dig to get to the bottom of a story. And that's what I've been doing in this case involving my mother-in-law.

On Thursday I received a call from the North Carolina Boad of Nursing. A woman who identified herself as Jennifer Lewis informed me they were going to begin an investigation into my claims of abuse and negligence at the Brian Center of Yanceyville. Ms. Lewis says their role is to look into what role licensed nurses on staff may have played in the negligence of reporting the physical brusies my MIL sustained. She even gave me a number to call to verify if, in fact, a formal report had been filed---as the Director of Nursing at The Brian Center claimed.

Of course I don't think we're ever going to find out exactly what happened. My mother-in-law has alzheimers and certainly can't tell us. But I am at least going to have the satisfaction of knowing the Brian Center staff won't be able to sweep this under the rug and close their files on this case. As a matter of fact, the case is more open than ever.

And to think all of this could've been avoided had the Brian Center documented, as best they could, what happened in a timely fashion. And why the Director of Nursing was so adamant about providing my husband and I with a copy of the report they allegedly filed with the State is beyond me. But it looks like she's going to have to answer to a higher power.

Now we'll see who has the last word.

Who Cares About Elder Abuse?

2009-07-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

As the family member of a loved one in a nursing home facility, I read with much interest the Raleigh News & Observer story about the fine levied against the Sunnybrook Healthcare & Rehabiltation Center in Wake County. The facility was fined $210,000 following an investigation into reports of abuse of a patient there.

Sunnybrook was fined for the following violations:

•Failure to notify family member and patient's doctor in a timely way when staff members found bruises on the older woman's face, shoulder and hip.

•Failure to supervise residents well enough to prevent accidents.

•Violated its own policies by failing to identify and report an injury of unknown source -- patient's bruises.

•And, failure to document and assess patient's bruising.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A FAMILIAR STORY....

My family is going through something similar and trying to get to the bottom of the incident involving my 91-year-old-mother-in-law at the Brian Center Health and Rehabilitation Center in Yanceyville.

To make a long story short, my MIL (who has alzheimers) had bruises on her right arm and left shoulder. The when, why, and how it happened remains unclear. The whodunnit is even more mysterious.

What we do know is we were notified of the bruises on Wednesday, July 22 by a nurse who questioned why nothing was written in her chart. When I went to the nursing home the next day, I observed the brusing first-hand and then talked with one of the nursing supervisors. First a member of the staff said they didn't know how the brusies got there. Then I was told my MIL got into an altercation with another resident and someone broke it up. But when I asked why nothing was documented about the incident, I couldn't get a straight answer. It appears the head nurse on duty on the alleged night in question (Sunday) up and moved to Tennessee the next day and gave her "I quit" notice via email.

So my question was, if the incident happened on Sunday, why didn't anyone question the bruises on Monday or Tuesday when they were helping my MIL get dressed or bathed.

My husband and I attended a meeting with the Director of Nursing on Monday. I asked for a copy of their investigative report but she refused to give it to me---saying it had been sent to the State.

Now it's time to see what the State Division of Health Services & Rehabilitation has to say. Stay tuned.....

How to Get Attention in the ER

2009-07-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

Just say you think you're having a heart attack. It worked for me yesterday. I woke up with a pain in my chest. It felt like a knot. I also had some difficulty breathing. I tried to dismiss it and go about my day. After leaving the Farmer's Market, I came home, got on my computer---thinking that Twitter would somehow make me feel better (LOL!)

When I couldn't stand it anymore, I called my doctor's office and was told to go straight to the emergency room and tell them I was having chest pains. Since there is a history of heart disease in my family, I take this matter very seriously.

When I walked into the ER of Durham Regional Hospital, I saw a waiting room FULL of people and thought I would surely die if I had to wait. But no sooner than I gave my name and the nurse took my vitals, I was led to a bed with doctors and nurses rushing in to take care of me. (Maybe the fact that my blood pressure was 151/108 had something to do with it).

It was the best/worst experience I've ever had in an ER. I definitely didn't want to be there but the treatment I received was awesome! The nurses, Sharita and Kristen, were pleasant and comforting. Kristen and I even joked about the "Pretty Girl Names" video on the Boomer Diva TV site. The young ER doctor, who told my husband and me to call him TJ, was the absolute coolest. He makes me hope I live long enough for him to get his own practice. I will definitely do his PR!

This was quite a different experience from my last ER visit with my daughter. After waiting several hours, the attending physician admitted he didn't know what was wrong with her and prescribed an anti-biotic which I guess he thought was a cure-all for whatever was ailing her.

One thing I learned about this ER experience is that there are medical personnel who genuinely care about patients and take a lot of pride in their work and they really do want to get to the heart of the matter.

Thanks Durham Regional!

You Never Know Who's Watching

2009-07-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

Imagine my surprise when I opened up my email and discovered I had been nominated to receive a Kreative Blogger Award. I read the name of the person who nominated me but I didn't recognize it so I followed the link to her blog. As soon as I saw her picture, I knew who she was. She is someone I follow on Twitter. I don't see her there often but when she is, she is always engaging and pleasant and one of my best re-tweeters.

Needless to say, I am honored that Joanne Julius Hunold has taken the time to acknowledge me and my writing. She has moved from being a mere follower to a friend and one whose blogs are now on my favorites list.

The fact that Joanne nominated me as a "Kreativ Blogger" just goes to show you this---you never know who's watching you---whether it be on or offline. So it really does pay to put your best "tweets" or "face" (book) forward.

OK, so here's what I'm supposed to do:

Thank the person who has given me the award
Place the logo on my blog
Link to the person who nominated you
Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting
Nominate 7 bloggers for this award and post links to their blogs
Send a message to let them know they've been nominated

Seven Interesting Facts About Me

1. I'm a only child
2. I worked for Merrill Lynch and Liberty Mutual in between media jobs.
3. I went to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba with Camp Lejeune Marines as an assignment.
4. I was a cheerleader in high school.
5. I was a high school Forensics Champion
6. Boomer Diva Nation was created as a result of a conversation I had with R&B Singer, Natalie Cole.
7. I won $10,000 in a bowling tournament.

Seven Blogs I Nominate for the Kreativ Blogger Award

**This is hard because I enjoy many blogs**

I discovered Rhea Becker's blog a few years ago and have become an avid reader. The Boomer Chronicles is not only informative but also very entertaining. What many people may not know is Rhea used to write for People Magazine and I'm proud to say she is a member of Boomer Diva Nation.

Eileen Williams writes The Feisty Side of Fifty. Her posts are always interesting and she ties them into her podcasts which always has some of the most fascinating guests.

Pam Archer tells some of the funniest stories on her Homespun Highlights blog. I always find myself taking a trip down memory lane with her writing and her sense of humor is classic!

Mitch Mitchell has a blog called I'm Just Sharing. Half the time I have no clue what he's talking about but I love the way he writes because he helps me "get it." Mitch and I connected on Twitter and he has also become more than someone I'm following.

Rosie Horner is our blogging betty on Twitter. You might find an interesting blog post or a video. Rosie's one creative lady! She has several blogs but my favorite is Rosie's Boomer Review.

David Lindberg has a great blog called Davey's Locker. In addition to being a blogger, he's also a great songwriter/composer. He has samples of his music on his blog and I just learned one of his songs won May's Song of the Year.

Last but not least is Heidi Richards. I was so impressed with Heidi when I first connected with her online that I became a stalker. She is a one-woman conglomerate and one that I am honored to know. She has several sites but the one I frequent most is: WeMagazineforWomen.

It's All in the Genes

2009-07-10T19:56:00.000-07:00

As much as my daughter hates to admit it, she is turning into me more and more each day----and it's happening a whole lot faster than the transformation I went through with my own mother.

Those of you who are regular readers to this blog or know me personally, know that my daughter is not only in college but she is also trying to raise her soon-to-be-three-year-old son. It's a juggling act and although I never wanted to be a part of this circus, I have been recruited and am doing my best to fulfill my role as primary caregiver while she's away at school.

But that's not what this blog is all about.

Over the past week, my daughter has been trying to set up her son's 3rd birthday party at one of our local parks for September 6. Although she will be back in school, she wanted to get everything pre-arranged by paying the required fee to host the party.

After several phone calls and left voicemails, she finally got through to someone in the Parks & Recreation dept., and was told the park she wanted was already rented. She was frustrated because she felt if someone had returned her initial phone call or any of the several calls she made afterwards, she might've been able to book the park she wanted. To make a long story short, she did exactly what I would've done in the same situation. She complained about the poor customer service--the lack of response. She even went so far as to schedule an appearance before the City Council to voice her grievance.

But lo and behold, the Assistant Director of Parks & Recreation came to the rescue and, surprisingly, my daughter discovered the park she wanted was available because the person who wanted it had not paid the required deposit.

Needless to say, my daughter was quite proud of her accomplisments as a young woman and mother who will, undoubtedly, be taking on many more battles throughtout her adult life.

I was proud too because despite some of the failures I've made as a parent, I see that my daughter has that same feisty spirit. She can handle herself under the pressure. It's all in the genes---and I guess we both have my mother to thank for that.

Life Isn't a Bow, but It's Still Worth a Gift

2009-07-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

14. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

15. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

16. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

17. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

18. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

19. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

20. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

21. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

22. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

23. The most important sex organ is the brain.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".

26. What other people think of you is none of your business.

27. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

29. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

30. Believe in miracles.

31. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

33. Your children get only one childhood.

34. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

35. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

36. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

37. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

38. The best is yet to come.

39 No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

40. Sometimes you have to Yield.

41. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

The Baby Boomer Who Changed the Face of Music

2009-06-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe he's gone. Michael Jackson was one baby boomer I thought was larger than life. Who cares that he was 50 years old. If he could still shake his body down to the ground, I would still watch.

I grew up with Michael and his brothers--when they were known as the Jackson 5. I first saw them on TV in 1969 when they appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show. I then saw them in person in 1971 at the Ohio State Fair. I remember screaming hysterically along with thousands of other little girls in the crowd.

When Michael decided to go solo, it seems as though his fan base became even larger. Michael actually changed the face of music on MTV. Before the debut of his "Thriller" video, MTV was not playing music by black artists. After that debut, Michael didn't stop and we couldn't get enough.

The more popular Michael became, however, the more his life became exposed. Allegations of child molestation followed him throughout his adult life. He was called a WACKO JACKO by members of the media who, I believe, sensationalized his life beyond repair.

But you know what? I choose to remember Michael Jackson for the musical gifts he gave to his adoring fans. For the rest of you who want to continue to harp on the negative, you can just BEAT IT!

Social Media May Be Hazardous to Your Health

2009-06-19T17:02:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor this week and learned a rather interesting lesson about social media.

When the scale reflected the fact that I had GAINED and not LOST some weight, my doctor wanted to know what kind of activities I was involved in. I told her I was spending a lot of time on my computer these days. Sometimes I spend more than half of my day between Twitter and Facebook.

Not good, according to my doctor. She says spending hours at a time at a computer can create havoc on the body. In addition to the middle age spread, one might also develop knee, back and vision problems.

Another point she made was the stress factor. If you're looking to your computer as a means of financial support, you may find yourself with many frustrating days---especially if money is slow to come your way. That frustration, she says, can lead to high blood pressure and depending on heavily involved you are, it could also lead to something more serious.

So while many folks are busy singing the benefits of social media, a least one health expert--my trusted physician--says social media, just like alcohol, should be used in moderation.

Bank of America, Are You Serious?

2009-06-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

Today I received my bank statement from Bank of America. Why I'm still a customer is a direct result of my laziness to go to the bank and close out my account.

The statement I received today has become new motivation to get off my behind and make my own statement to Bank of America.

Here's what I received:

IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR ACCOUNT:

Recently we informed you that we were raising our Overdraft Item and NSF: Returned Item Fee to $39. After careful consideration of the many factors currently impacting the economy, our business and our customers, we have made a decision to change our overdraft Item Fee and NSF: Retuned Item Fee to $35 per item. Visit Bank of america.com/pricingchanges.

Now here's what gets me about this: The fee used to be $12. They raised it to $39 and now have decided to give us a break by shaving off $4.00. Why not just keep it at $12? Didn't that bailout money help them at all?

Burn Baby Burn Takes on a New Meaning

2009-06-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

When I hear burn baby burn , I'm thinking of a disco inferno, but, for some folks, this phrase has them thinking about death.

According to The Cremation Association of North America, more and more baby boomers are considering cremation as their last rites over a ground burial. Although many Baptists view cremation as an unacceptable destruction of the body, some 37 percent of Americans say they would like to be cremated after they die.

Research also shows that people who would prefer cremation tend to be well-educated, earn higher-than-average incomes, and reside in Western boomtowns and Sunbelt retirement communities far from their birthplace. Psychographic surveys show that they share a socially progressive agenda, supporting issues like doctor-assisted suicide and the legalization of marijuana. Most choose cremation for the convenience, the lower cost, or to help preserve land.

Some Funeral Home Directors say they are finding that many people now live away from their family and they feel it's easier to be cremated and have their remains sent to another part of the country. With people living longer, they have more time to direct their children as to what they want to do. And they consider that cremation involves fewer decisions for their family.

But even in cremation--you can go out in style. At one funeral home in Raleigh, NC a family can sit in a softly lit viewing room and watch through a window as their loved one enters the cremation chamber. If relatives want to, they can say prayers and scatter flowers over the body before the metal door closes, or even push the button to move the body along.

So what do you think? Have you decided whether you want to be cremated or buried after you die?

Shame on You Wal-Mart

2009-06-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

It should come as no surprise to anyone that women are the reason businesses like Wal-Mart are managing to thrive in spite of a weak economy. Women are always shopping for great deals and Wal-Mart has gone out of its way to convince us it is the place to: "Save money. Live better."

But the question here is are the women who work at Wal-Mart really living better? Maybe not---according to an article in BusinessWeek---which states that women account for nearly 80 percent of all shoppers but more than 70 percent of its senior leaders are men.

To add insult to injury, in 2001, six female Wal-Mart employees filed a sex-discrimination lawsuit in U.S. District Court in San Francisco against Wal-Mart Stores. The suit, Dukes v. Wal-Mart Stores Inc., gained class certification in 2004 as the largest such suit ever filed against a private employer, affecting more than 2million female employees. In the suit, female employees alleged that they were denied opportunities for advancement and paid less than men doing similar work.

This is an image the Company's new CEO is hoping to change. At a shareholder's meeting today, Mike Duke pledged to work on developing female leaders by launching a "global women's council." This 14-member group aims to increase the percentage of women in management roles at Wal-Mart.

Sadly, Wal-Mart isn't the only Company who has a poor track record when it comes to hiring top female executives. But until women start speaking more with their pocketbooks, behaviors like this will continue no matter how many "global councils" are put together.

The Weak Job Market Hits Home

2009-05-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

On Friday, my husband got the telephone call we hoped would never happen--at least not now. He was informed by his Employer that his employment contract as a Computer Security Analyst with the Department of the Treasury was being terminated immediately.

My husband has been with the DOT for several years--was great at his job--but now is forced to join thousands of other baby boomers who are being forced to re-invent themselves.

The good news is he will finally be able to officially move to North Carolina. We've had a commuter marriage since we got married three years ago. Not having an official job is bad news, no doubt, but we are refusing to focus our attention on that.

Here are some tips we hope will help others in the same boat:

1. Don't Let Fear Control You
Some people opt to do nothing when becoming unemployed and instead just worry. It's appropriate to be concerned, but we know we have to start making the necessary moves to ensure our comfort and survival.

2. Never underestimate the power of networking
My husband is not a social networker but he has started a Facebook and Twitter page. It's important to talk with people who may be able to help you and follow any leads that come your way. Connecting with others will help you to get another job. Send out resumes, and keep your contacts alive.

3. Find emotional support
There are numerous groups for the newly unemployed, many with counselors and job coaching. You don't need to tough it out alone.

4. Don't spend too much time alone
You will need time to grieve to move on, but you can't find a new job if you remain isolated.

5. Consider starting your own business (my personal tip)
This may be the perfect chance to reinvent yourself and start a small business. But if you're going to go from being an employee to being an entrepreneur, you must be sure your heart is in it--meaning you have a passion for what you want to do. Also, you have to ask yourself where is the money going to come from for your initial business investment.

In my husband's case, he has been dabbling with real estate investments so now might be a good time for him to take a closer look at how he can make this a full-time endeavor.

We will survive!

Summer Break

2009-05-11T19:06:00.000-07:00

My daughter has officially completed her first year of college. Now she is back home for summer--but it will be ME who will be taking a much needed break.

That's right. After acting as primary caregiver for her two-year-old son, I have relinquished my duties so she can step back into the "mommy" role. That means I no longer have to get up in the middle of the night when I hear my grandson cry out that he needs to go potty. I can sleep later in the morning without having to worry about making sure he gets to daycare before 9:30am. And I won't have to rush to pick him up by 4:30--especially if I'm in a meeting that ran long. I'll be able to spend countless hours on Twitter if I want to and more importantly, hubby and I will get to spend some quality "we" time, which has been next to impossible with our grandson hanging on to our every move.

Are you a grandparent who has given up your retirement or your own plans in order to take on the diapers, daycare, teacher conferences, and everything else that comes along with raising children? Many baby boomers, like me, are stepping in to raise their grandchildren when the children's own parents are not able or willing to do so. According to the U.S. Census, over 2.4 million grandparents have responsibility for their grandchildren. I consider my contribution as an investment in her future.

Taking care of her son has become my daughter's summer job. Nope, there is no pay involved but the rewards she and my grandson will receive will be more valuable than all the money in the world!

Has the True Sentiment Gone Out of Mother's Day?

2009-05-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

Mary Baldwin College alumna Anna Jarvis was the driving force behind the creation of Mother’s Day. But she would not be pleased at all with Mother’s Day as it is celebrated in 2009, according to a source at her alma mater.

“Miss Jarvis thought Mother’s Day should be a day you spend with your mother, or a day when you do something special for her like fix her dinner or repair her broken stairs,” says William Pollard, archivist at Mary Baldwin College in Staunton, VA. “It was not supposed to be a day where you buy her something.”

Pollard says Jarvis wanted to keep Mother’s Day non-commercial--a battle she knew she had lost by the time of her death in 1948.

To understand how the day became nationally celebrated it’s important to know a bit about Anna Jarvis. She was graduated from Augusta Female Seminary, which is now Mary Baldwin College, in 1883 and moved back home with her parents. In 1905, Anna’s mother passed away. After her mother’s death, Jarvis spent years sending letters to public officials urging them to set aside a day to honor mothers.

In 1914, that day came. President Woodrow Wilson, whose birthplace was just across the street from Mary Baldwin College, signed the proclamation formally establishing Mother’s Day.

Over the years, however, Anna Jarvis became bitter with the commercialization of Mother’s Day.

She has been quoted as saying: “Mother’s Day has nothing to do with candy. Candy is junk. You give your mother a box of candy and then go home and eat most of it yourself, or else you give her hard candy that breaks her teeth or dentures.”

“Flowers are about half-dead by the time they’re delivered,” said Jarvis. “It’s really a shame to waste flowers for Mother’s Day. Florists have made millions of dollars out of my idea and they don’t deserve it.”

So what do you think? What is the best way to honor our Mothers on Mother's Day?

Get Your Business Praise On

2009-05-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

Today is Monday. For those of you who still work in Corporate America, it is the beginning of your work week. When I worked in Corporate America I struggled on Mondays because I knew I would have to put up with a lot of craziness including breaking news, ill-advised decisions and co-workers with bad attitudes.

So do you know what I would do? I would pop in my favorite gospel CD and get my praise on before I went into work. It was like a buffer between me and the evil forces of the newsroom.

Even though I'm now my own boss, I still live in the world and still have to deal with others. So let me share how I still get my OFFICE PRAISE on through prayer and meditation.

O - Oh Lord, help me not to OFFEND anybody today
F - FREEZE my tongue, if somebody says something out of the way
F - Fill me with Your grace, so that I might stay cool
I - I'm trying to do right, but I ain't nobody's fool
C - Cause me to humble myself, before I get fired
E - Even a saint like me sometimes gets tired

P - PRAISE your name, because You've saved me, many times before
R - RISE up in me before I get in the door
A - All Mighty One, You know I need you close
I - INSPIRE me to be kind, if not to all, to most....No...To ALL!!
S - SHOW me how to be an example of Your love, not hate
E - Even me Lord, I hope it's not too late

'Today I ask God to meet me at the office door, and sit with me all day'

Discipline and Grandchildren

2009-04-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

While my daughter is away at college, I am the primary caregiver for her two-year-old son. This means I am responsible for everything involving his life---including discipline.

Just like my daughter did when she was little, my grandson constantly tests his boundries to see how much he can get away with. I am a firm believer that children need limits and boundaries. They also need to understand there are consequences for bad behavior.

The challenge lies in making sure parents and grandparents are on one accord when it comes to discipline. For example, if a parent does not believe in spanking and you, as a grandparent do believe in spanking, how do you handle that? I personally agree with an article I read on the grandparents.com website, which indicates the guardian who has home-field advantage has the rights over discipline.

So what do you say? Do grandparents have rights when it comes to discipline? Or should they simply adhere to the "time-out" policy and leave the real punishment to the parent(s)?

Parents, Sex and Their Kids

2009-04-20T09:57:00.000-07:00

Drugs, Sex, Rock & Roll & Woodstock: Those are some of the tags associated with my baby boomer generation. Now, here we are 40 years later dealing with some of the same things with our own children and grandchildren. But what is so shocking is the fact that the kids engaging in these risky behaviors are getting younger and younger. Just this morning, I came across an article this morning that startled me.

The article indicates that middle school youth are engaging in sexual intercourse as early as age 12, according to a study by researchers at The University of Texas School of Public Health.

Results from this study are published in the April issue of Journal of School Health.

Researchers examined sexual risk behaviors among middle school students in a large southeastern U.S. urban public school district. The say the study shows that although most seventh graders are not engaging in sexual risk behaviors, a small percentage are putting themselves at risk.

In the study, sexual intercourse was defined as vaginal, oral or anal sex. According to their research, by age 12, 12 percent of students had already engaged in vaginal sex, 7.9 percent in oral sex, 6.5 percent in anal sex and 4 percent in all three types of intercourse.

Researchers say these findings are alarming because youth who start having sex before age 14 are much more likely to have multiple lifetime sexual partners, use alcohol or drugs before sex and have unprotected sex, all of which puts them at greater risk for getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or becoming pregnant.

The study found one-third of sexually active students reported engaging in vaginal or anal sex without a condom within the past three months, and one-fourth had four or more partners. The more experienced students in all three types of intercourse were more likely to be male and African-American.

So I ask you, parents and grandparents, who or what is the blame for this outrageous, risky behavior among our youth? What can be done to prevent it?

The Ten Commandments of Marriage from a Man's Point of View

2009-04-16T12:46:00.000-07:00

**Special thanks to my MARRIED friend, Fred Marvin, for sharing this with me**

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

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Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

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Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

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Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

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Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

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Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

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Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

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Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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Bonus Commandment ( Story )

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It worked!"

Has Easter Lost it's True Meaning?

2009-04-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

I couldn't wait to take my two-year-old grandson to church this morning for Easter because he looked so handsome in the outfit I bought for him. I was like that with my daughter and I remember my parents were the same with me.

But is that what Easter is all about---dressing up in your newly purchased colorful spring outfits and parading yourself in front of others in God's house?

As a baby boomer I believe Easter, just like Christmas, has lost its meaning over the years as we focus more on the materialism associated with it instead of the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Did you know the word “Easter” doesn’t have anything to do with the Christian celebration? It is derived from the name of a German deity, Estre or Ostra. She was the goddess of the rising sun and spring, and was celebrated in springtime festivals.

Did you also know that rabbits are an ancient pagan symbol? They represent fertility and are associated with the re-awakening of the land in springtime. Bunnies were first associated with Easter celebrations in the 1500s, and by the early 1800s, German bakers were selling Easter bunnies made from chocolate and pastry.

Eggs, which are laid by birds and from which new birds emerge, were symbols of new life and rebirth long before the Christian era began. In the early days of the church, the consumption of eggs during Lent was prohibited, so decorating them and giving them as gifts on Easter became a way of celebrating the resurrection.

The tradition of the Easter Bunny bringing gifts to children Easter morning is also from Germany, where he was known as Oschter Haws. Initially, the bunny left his treats in a nest made for him by children. Later, the tradition merged with the notion of the Easter basket.

So what do you think? Are we, as a society, obsessed with traditions that have no value?