Teaching Your Child to Walk Your Talk

On Friday, I went to visit my daughter in college. Actually, it wasn't a formal visit. Her step-dad and I went there to bring her computer home in advance of her returning home next week for Christmas break.

One of the things I immediately noticed was her snack ration was seriously depleted. Since the beginning of the school year (August), we have spent a few hundred dollars in keeping her supplied with lots of goodies for her late night munchies and those days when the cafeteria food "sucks" as she says.

When I inquired about where her supply was, she told me she had been sharing her food with others in her dorm. Of course, my first reaction was, "Why are you sharing YOUR stuff? These kids have parents! Don't they send them anything? What makes you think it's your responsibility to feed everyone else? Besides, they have a meal plan--just like you!"

My daughter, very calmly said, "Mom, I don't see what you're getting so bent out of shape about. Haven't you been teaching me all of my life to share? I thought I was doing a good thing. I feel blessed to be in a position to share with others who are a little less fortunate."

OK...this was MY DAUGHTER talking. This is the same "only child" who cried when we gave her leftover food to a homeless man while we were on vacation---food, we knew she would never eat. This is the same person who had a job (in high school) but preferred you spend your money on her.

But then I got to thinking: I spent 18 years doing my best to "train up a child in the way that she should go..." (Proverbs 22:6) and many times I thought I was just talking to myself. But lo and behold, she was listening.

Is your child walking your talk? The better question might be: Are you saying anything worth listening to?

Like Mother, Like Daughter

It happens in many mother-daughter relationships. Sooner or later, you're going to realize you've turned into your mother. I vowed early in life that I would never, ever be like my mom but, for some reason, it just got passed on in the genes.

I discovered my "I'm just like my mother" behavior when I became a parent. I found myself acting like her in terms of how I disciplined my child and dealt with her peers. My mother was a no-nonsense kind of woman. You clearly understood your boundaries as a child. There was no "I'm your mother and your friend" relationship." I wasn't allowed to associate with certain children because my mother knew their parents and if she didn't know the parents, she had to know them FIRST before I was given permission to associate with their children.

So what prompted me to write this today? A phone call from my college daughter. She told me about an encounter she had with one of her Instructors. As she told me the story of how she challenged her, I smiled as I reflected on a few of my own challenges at Ohio University. I thought to myself, "dear, this is just the beginning."

Then she said something that sounded so familiar, "I can't believe it...I'm turning into you!"

Well, maybe that gene pool wasn't so bad after all :)