What Position Do You Play in Your Child's Life?

This week, many baby boomer parents, like me, have been going through the experience of sending their children off to college for the first time. We are becoming something called “empty nesters.”

I would like to say helping my daughter enroll into college for the first time was a wonderful and teary-eyed experience---but it wasn’t. My greatest disappointment is the fact that she didn’t even consider my alma mater—but instead, chose to go to the school her father and my WAS-band went to. This decision was made in spite of the fact that he offered no support and no consultation. In hindsight, it’s probably better that he didn’t because that probably would’ve made matters worse!

Unlike my daughter, all I had to do when I arrived on the Ohio University campus was find my residence hall and move in. My daughter, on the other hand, was ill prepared for what was to come on her orientation day because she had not taken care of certain things in advance. She had no housing assignment and no class schedule. Her immunization records had not been turned in.

Some things have definitely changed. Unlike when I was in college, incoming freshman have to take an English and Math exam to see what level they’re on. I though that’s what the SAT’s were for. The good news is she scored a perfect 100 in English but failed miserably in Math. She may end up changing her major from Business to something else since she will be required to take a few Math courses along the way.

While my husband (her step dad) and I were waiting for her to finish with her testing, I stepped up to try to close some of the gaps by trying to get her a room assignment and request her immunization records from her doctor.

Then it hit me. The reason my daughter was so laxidasical with this process is because she had been so accustomed to me doing everything for her. In the football game of life, I was her linebacker. I blocked for her time after time when she was faced with challenges. As her quarterback as I called plays for her to make sure her transitions were smooth. I would also tackle for her if someone was trying to keep her from excelling—especially her teachers.

I have become the type of baby boomer parent I have written about and been critical of. I made it too easy for my daughter to get through life up to this point.

After 12 hours of walking around on campus trying to handle things, once again, on her behalf, I have decided the buck has to stop here. It’s time she learned about struggles and heartaches, success and failures on her own—without my interference. I just hope and pray that I’ve taught her enough that she will stand on her own and rise to the challenge.

We're Fun, We're Fabulous & We're Grandmothers

This week two of my friends became grandmothers. One of them is Carine Nadel. Some of you may know her from her blog: carine-whatscooking.blogspot.com The other is author, Vicki M. Taylor: vickimtaylor.com Both women are members of Boomer Diva Nation---a group I created where boomer women rock, roll, rule and unite!

As I read the announcements from Carine and Vicki, I could feel the excitement in their spirits! I could also feel their sense of relief that their little girls had made it through a successful delivery. That's because they both lived through nine anxious months and had to cope with their daughter's health issues.

In September 2006, I went through a similar experience when my daughter gave birth.

So here we all are preparing to lend our support and a little (or maybe ALOT) influence to our new little ones. We will love them, spoil them and silently hurt when they hurt.

People may look at us and say we're too young to be grandmothers. I, personally, take that as a compliment. I'm excited to have my health and strength to be able to deal with my grandson as he gets older. I'm sure Carine and Vicki share my sentiments.

So in this blog I am saluting Carine, Vicki and all of the Fabulous Diva grandmothers out there! It's a true blessing indeed!!!

When children lose someone they care about

The day after Thanksgiving the grandmother of my daughter’s best friend passed away. It was expected, but as with any death where illness is involved, family and friends are always hopeful that the end will come later instead of sooner.

I watched in awe as my teenage daughter became a pillar of strength for her friend who was obviously very close to her grandmother. From the moment the decision was made to take her off of the respirator, my daughter stepped up to offer comfort to her friend in the best way she could. She went to the hospital and maintained a vigil with the family. She left---only to return again at midnight---when she learned of her passing.

Just last month I found myself in the same situation when I lost a dear friend. It was if my daughter had watched my every move because she was doing what I had done.

It is expected that baby boomers, like me, will lose older family members and friends as time goes by but when children lose people they care about, it can be a hard concept to truly understand. Hopefully, parents are teaching their children to love, appreciate and respect their aging family members while they’re alive so that when they’re gone, they will have cherished memories to hold on to.

Mother's Day Contest Update

What a difference 24 hours makes! Since announcing the contest, I've had several sponsors offer to donate a prize. So now it gets interesting because you know what they say: The better the prizes...the better the competition.

First Place: $50 Cash, Bath & Body Works Spa Pkg (Tracy Ehman), Never be Sick Again by Raymond Francis ; 30 minute Radio Interview on Heal Yourself Talk Radio with Rebecca White; :30 promotional ad on Beverly Mahone’s podcast “Whatever!” for your business or product; ***This is a great opportunity for self-promotion***
“Delayed but not Denied” Gospel CD by Jennifer Evans (www.jenniferevans7.com)

Second: My Little Taste of Italy Gift Basket (www.mylittletasteofitaly.com), Bella Bath & Body Bar and Neways Products offered by Tracy Lewis; autographed copy of Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age by Beverly Mahone (www.thebabyboomerdiva.com) & “Chill 2 This” Inspirational Jazz CD from Michael Houston. www.myspace.com/houstown

Third: Gano Excel Coffee Gift Basket donated by Tally Green, Mothers are Forever book by Criswell Freeman donated by www.EdenFlorist.com--our motto is "Make Someone Smile Today, Send Flowers!" (Heidi Richards, owner); Blockbuster Gift Card

Fourth: Twenty minute coaching session with Doris Helge, author of Joy on the Job (www.joyonthejob.info); autographed copy of “Delayed but not Denied” Gospel CD from Jennifer Evans (www.jenniferevans7.com); God can Handle Mothers by Carlene Ward donated by: Eden Florist - http://www.EdenFlorist.com - our motto is "Make Someone Smile Today, Send Flowers!" (Heidi Richards, owner)

Fifth: One hour of free Virtual Assistant Services plus 20 percent off on all products thru May 15 from www.KeyBusinessPartners.com and Teresa Morrow; Back to the Table with my Country Kitchen cookbook by Betty Lynch (www.bettylynch.biz).

Contest open to men and women because we know there were some hard-headed little boys growing up too!

See previous blog entry for contest details.