Ten Tips to Help You Live to be Drama Free at Midlife

10. Write a list of goals you'd like to achieve. Focus on what you know you can do well. Don’t try to be a “jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none.

9. Say “no” instead of “yes”. I had to learn this one. You can’t be all things to all people so instead of trying to please everybody—just do what you know you can do and forget about the rest. The worst mistake you can make is to say “yes” and then fail to do what you promised because you’ve said yes once too often.

8. Stop being a slave to communication tools. How many phones do you really need in order to communicate? Do you really need a home phone, a cellular phone, pager, fax, e-mail and internet ICQ technology?

7. Stop spending time to save money. Instead, spend money to save time. Don't drive across town to save a few cents on a grocery item. It's not worth your time.

6. Cancel subscriptions to magazines you never get around to reading. How many magazines do you have cluttering up your house?

5. Cut back on television time. When you’re sitting glued to the television, chances are more likely that you’re going to snack on junk food. And where does junk food go? Straight to your stomach, hips and thighs! Instead, go for a walk and get some fresh air. Then you come back, take a shower and relax or find some other things to occupy your time.

4. Clean out your garage or your home-based office. If you're not using something, get rid of it. Have a yard sale and make some extra money. Remember, one person’s junk is someone else’s treasure.

3. You don’t need to be a member of every organization. How many groups do you belong to that aren’t contributing to your personal or professional growth? You say “Oh, but they need me.” No, they don’t. There are others who can do what you do—maybe even better. Join a maximum of two groups. One for professional; the other for pleasure or social.

2. Simplify your financial world. For instance, set up automatic bill payments. Include your automatic savings plan as part of your monthly spending. That’s one less headache you’ll have every month.

1. Give yourself some ME time! Plan to spend more time doing things you like to do. Ladies: Get your hair and nails done. Get a pedicure. Go out with girlfriends and share a laugh or two over hot flashes and mood swings. You’ll feel much better after that.


Beverly Mahone writes about issues affecting baby boomers in her book "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age." For more articles, visit her website at www.talk2bev.com

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Baby Boomer Love on Valentine's Day

Out of nearly 400 entries, an essay written by an American wife, mother and grandmother living in Germany, came out on top. The contest was sponsored by Baby Boomer Author Beverly Mahone (Talk2bev.com) and Fabulously40.com. The grand prize winner receives a 3-day, 2-night mini vacation package to one of 26 destinations in the U.S.

"After thirty-two years of marriage, my hubby is still romantic. He doesn’t need to wait for Valentine’s Day to light candles, bring home flowers, cook elaborate dinners or give me a massage…" is how contest winner Angelika Schwarz begins her winning essay. She was one of nearly 400 baby boomer women who submitted entries for the first-of-a-kind contest.

In 250 words or less, baby boomer women were invited to write an essay on what advice they would give baby boomer men to help them prepare for an "exceptionally romantic" Valentine’s Day with their mates. The judges selected for this contest were five baby boomer men who were selected at random by Talks2Bev organizer and baby boomer expert, Beverly Mahone. "I thought it would be a great idea to have middle aged men read what middle aged women are thinking about when it comes to romance," says Ms. Mahone.

After all of the initial entries were read, the field was narrowed down to a total of 11 finalists. Author Debra-Shiveley Welch from Ohio, Author Linda J. Alexander Maryland, Writers Diane Tegarden and Dana Hall California and Nita Lopez of Washington State, Gospel Recording Artist Jenniefer Evans and Author Jaisun McMillian of North Carolina and Poet Eve Hall of Georgia. But in the end, the winning essay came from Angelika Schwarz, a native of Boston, who now makes her home in Germany. Her description of her husband wooed the judges:

"I see in the shadows of the night, his silhouette bending over our grandchild’s crib, as he sings in deep whispered tones an old German lullaby.
Watching him laugh with his sons, till tears of merriment roll down his cheeks.
I see the flicker of admiration and love in his eyes when I just happen to look up at him. I feel the warm palm of his hand, as he lays it on the small of my back as we cross a street."

In addition to Fabulously40.com, other sponsors for the contest were Sonshine Travel, Midlifeheroine.com, Business Resources Podcast Directory, HealthierOutcomes.com, OlderWiserWomen.org, Veriuni All Natural Products, My Little Taste of Italy, The Secrets of Prosperity with Kim Emerson, WECAI Network, Healthy Women’s Network, Gano Excel Coffee & Tally Green.

To view the winners and their essays Ms. Mahone invites you to visit her website at: http://www.talk2bev.com and she laughs and says "Purchase a copy of my book while you’re there!"

Spice Up Your Romance this Valentine' Day!

Year after year as Valentine’s Day approaches, I hear my middle-aged girlfriends complain about how the spark has gone out of their relationships with the "man of their dreams." They tell me he isn't attentive anymore or he works long hours and then comes home too tired or they even suspect there might be a little "foul play" going on with another woman--and a YOUNGER one at that.

Well, my dear sisters make this Valentine’s Day the day you turn up the heat in the romance department.

Do you know why some older men are sexually attractive to younger women? Because they are adventurous! They have an experimental attitude and don't mind doing what it takes to please their partner.

We were once like that, remember? Well, maybe I should just speak for myself but I recall the days when I couldn't get enough pleasure from my man and he was more than willing to oblige. Has growing older made us become prudish all of a sudden or did we not realize the man we married had an over-active sex drive?

Just because we age doesn't mean the romantic flames have to die does it? The first thing you must ask yourself, honestly, is what did you do to kill the romance if it's gone. If you can honestly say it's not your fault then you need to do a reality check on exactly why you chose the person you're with and if it wasn't for romance, then you shouldn't be complaining at this stage of the game.

There ways to help keep that romance and magic alive. Here are some suggestions that work for this middle aged happily-married woman:

Establish a secret word or a secret phrase between the two of you and decide that every time you say the word, you will share a passionate kiss or a gentle touch. The word might be one that holds a special meaning for the two of you or maybe choose a word that is sexy.

Turn your dinner into a romantic dining experience. It has been said that it is "mood, not food that sets a romantic scene." You don’t need to spend a lot of money for this one. Whether you’re cooking a meal or ordering take out, put some fresh cut flowers in a vase, even if they come from your own yard, and then dim the lights, light some candles, pour some wine and enjoy the ambience. Or maybe even cuddle up on the couch together with some junk food and watch listen to some soft, soothing music.

Speaking of music, why not get up close and personal by dancing cheek-to-cheek with your bodies touching ever so closely? You don’t have to go out for a night on the town to do this. Put on some Luther Vandross or Barry White and let the romance begin—in the kitchen, living room or bedroom. Dancing helps to keep romance alive and it is fun and a way for couples to positively connect with one another.

Touch and kiss each other at every opportunity and this includes those non-sexual moments. Kissing and touching isn’t always about foreplay before sex takes place. And make those kisses passionate! Pecks on the cheek are for children and not for mature lovers.

Try reading sexy literature to each other in bed or when you are cuddled up together on the couch. Take turns being the narrator and if asked to re-read a particularly erotic scene, do so willingly. Fiction can be very romantic if you choose the right books to read. Both the reading and the listening can be very romantic for both parties. Try wearing some alluring lingerie while you read and then listen and stroke your mate as you listen to the sound of his sexy voice as he reads steamy fiction to you in the dark or by candlelight.
Scent is very romantic so wear some of his favorite perfume and spritz a touch of your favorite aromatherapy on your pillow to set the lovemaking mood. Don't be afraid to try something different. Role playing can be very enticing and a lot of fun!

I, personally, love it when my husband writes me a romantic letter because I know it came straight from his heart.

Most importantly, don't be afraid to communicate your desires and try to be as open-minded as you were back then. But don't be afraid to let him know what you don't like. He shouldn't be offended if he wants to please you.

Make this Valentine’s Day be one of fun, fantasy and fulfillment! You may discover, just as I have, that he makes you "hotter" than a "hot flash!"

Beverly Mahone is a veteran journalist and author of the book, “Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age. For more information, visit her website at http://www.talk2bev.com