Do You Hear What Your Child Hears?

Recently my husband and I were having a disagreement that escalated into a rather loud discussion. Our grandson, who was in the other room, came running in and told us to stop fighting. We wanted to assure him we weren't fighting--we were just talking loud.

At that moment, I started thinking about this four-year-old's interpretation of what he heard. To him, it sounded like we were fighting even though there was no physical violence involved. He equated fighting with talking loud.

I think sometimes we, as adults, tend to forget that our children are within earshot of we are saying. Or we think the children are too young to understand the content of the argument while neglecting to realize that it's the negative tone of the conversation that kids pick up on. Kids do as we do and not as we say, though we often wish the opposite was true. If they see us resolving disputes with petty arguing, they are going to learn the same tactic.

Psychologist Dr. Kenneth Condrell says when adults are constantly arguing at home, children may respond in the following ways. They may:

•take their anger out on other adults, such as teachers, and have behavior problems in school
•lose respect for their parents’ authority and stop listening to them
•become depressed with thoughts of running away or of suicide
•mistreat their brothers and sisters in ways that are nasty and cruel

We want our grandson to grow up in a happy and healthy environment so we have vowed not to raise our voices in front of him.

Said the little child to his (grand)parents...do you hear what I hear?

Rewarding Parents for Bad Behavior

I've got a strong suspicion that the court system in Jackson, Mississippi is going to be rewarding some bad parents for their bad children. Three Murrah High School boys' basketball players have sued their coach and the school system over some spankings they say they endured during basketball practice.

The coach was actually caught on camera whipping one of the students. One parent said he sat in on a couple of basketball practices and watched as some of the students were getting hit---but because it wasn't his child--he didn't say anything at the time I guess.

In a written statement Coach Marlon Dorsey said,

I took it upon myself to save these young men from the destruction of self and what society has accepted and become silent to the issues our students are facing on a daily basis. I am deeply remorseful of my actions to help our students.

No doubt this coach probably saw these kids as incorrigible youth--the kind of students who will either not graduate, be unemployed, end up in a jail cell or six feet under. He just wanted to whip them into shape.

While I don't believe it's the coach's responsibility to take it upon himself to knock some sense into his students, I do understand his frustration. Some children are totally out of control. You can blame it on ADD, ADHD or whatever--but they seem to have no respect for education or the authority behind it.

That's where the parents come in. It is THEIR responsibility to crack the whip and they should've done that LONG AGO. That's probably why the situation at Murrah High School escalated to this point.

Some parents have totally neglected their responsibilities as parents. They're either more interested in becoming their child's friend or just not interested at all.

These bad parents and their children in Jackson will probably be rewarded a financial compensation---but when it's all said and done, they probably won't have learned a thing.