Skip to main content

Do You Hear What Your Child Hears?

Recently my husband and I were having a disagreement that escalated into a rather loud discussion. Our grandson, who was in the other room, came running in and told us to stop fighting. We wanted to assure him we weren't fighting--we were just talking loud.

At that moment, I started thinking about this four-year-old's interpretation of what he heard. To him, it sounded like we were fighting even though there was no physical violence involved. He equated fighting with talking loud.

I think sometimes we, as adults, tend to forget that our children are within earshot of we are saying. Or we think the children are too young to understand the content of the argument while neglecting to realize that it's the negative tone of the conversation that kids pick up on. Kids do as we do and not as we say, though we often wish the opposite was true. If they see us resolving disputes with petty arguing, they are going to learn the same tactic.

Psychologist Dr. Kenneth Condrell says when adults are constantly arguing at home, children may respond in the following ways. They may:

•take their anger out on other adults, such as teachers, and have behavior problems in school
•lose respect for their parents’ authority and stop listening to them
•become depressed with thoughts of running away or of suicide
•mistreat their brothers and sisters in ways that are nasty and cruel

We want our grandson to grow up in a happy and healthy environment so we have vowed not to raise our voices in front of him.

Said the little child to his (grand)parents...do you hear what I hear?

Comments

Pat Montgomery said…
Bev, great topic. And timely for me. My guest next week has a book that is full of studies on children called NurtureShock. In it, they state that the evidence shows that kids who hear arguments, but also hear the resolution and make up will not have ill effects from the argument/discussions. Interesting stuff.

Popular posts from this blog

Donald Trump Has Brought Out the Worst in America

This isn't meant to be another one of those bash Donald Trump blog posts.  This is, instead, a commentary on the negativity his campaign has sparked.  

Racists have come out of the woodwork like roaches in the dark.  For the most part, these supporters would be classified as poor whites, angry because they can't advance with little or no education and the majority of them would also be identified as angry white males.  They have taken off their hoods, jumped on his bandwagon, taken off their hoods and are leading the "make America great" campaign.  They have gotten behind a candidate who spews some of the nastiest comments and behaved in such a manner that has to embarrass any decent, conscientious, law-abiding white person in America.  

People like 78-year-old man John Franklin McGraw of North Carolina have felt free to assault non Trump supporters at presidential candidate's rallies.  "The victim deserved it.  The next time we see him we might have to kill h…

Thank You Lebron James for Fulfilling My Bucket Wish List

You can't grow up in Northeastern Ohio and not be a sports fan.  As a cheerleader in middle and high schools, I came to appreciate and UNDERSTAND the game of football and basketball.  

I remember Marion Motley from the OLD Cleveland (Bulldogs) Browns coming over our house to socialize with my parents.  (He and my mother went to high school together).  I remember  Brian Sipe and the "Kardiac Kids" who always had me on the edge of my seat when they were playing.  I remember how proud I was when my high school classmate Phil Hubbard made his presence known on the Cleveland Cavaliers, along with Brad Daugherty, Ron Harper and Mark Price (the Cavalier's three-point king).

But in all of those years, we never won a championship or even came close.  My saddest memory is the 1987 AFC Championship Game between the Browns and Broncos on January 17, 1988 at Mile High Stadium. With 1:12 left in the game, Browns running back Earnest Byner fumbled on the Broncos 1 yard line while try…

The Tragedy and Illusion of Facebook

"Things aren't always the way they appear."  No truer words could be spoken following the tragic death of Karen Smith in San Bernardino, CA this week.  She was murdered on her job---in a classroom where she was teaching young students.

What intrigued me about this story was the fact that she and her husband killer, Cedric Anderson were black baby boomers around the same age as my husband and myself.  I was particularly interested in the posts he made on Facebook.  By all accounts, he posted regularly on Facebook about the so-called love and admiration he had for his wife.  He created an image that was clearly contrary to the murderous behavior he demonstrated when he walked into her classroom and killed her.

In a February 27th post, he posted a selfie video and said:  "I love being married to Karen Smith-Anderson!"

March 11 post, he said: "My wife Karen Smith-Anderson is an Angel!!!"

March 12: He posted a youtube song by Sade titled By Your Side and said:…