There's a Survey for Thanksgiving

Another survey has come out and this one is just in time for Thanksgiving.  Delta Dental has come out with its Third Annual Thanksgiving pie survey.

The number one pie enjoyed by families across America is pumpkin once again.  Thirty-six percent of those surveyed favored it over pecan pie, which came in a distant second at 17 percent. 

In other survey results,pumpkin pie is enjoyed most in the West and least in the South.  That's not a surprising statistic because Southerners love their sweet potato pies loaded with lots and lots of sugar.  A dentist's dream.

Apple pie came in third with 14 percent, followed by sweet potato at 10 percent, chocolate 9 percent, lemon meringue 4 percent, blueberry and cherry tied at 3 percent and strawberry at 2 percent.

Of course, while this survey may or may not be relevant, Delta Dental's message is that whatever pie you eat this holiday season that you "remember to take the time to brush and floss away the sugary remnants."

Good advice.

A Year in the Life of Me

May 29, 2015 was the last time I made an entry into this blog before I posted one yesterday.  A whole year has gone by.  A lot has happened in that time frame.  I became a year older and found myself lamenting over the would've, should've, could've of my life.  Mind you, I've accomplished many wonderful achievements but in my mind, I COULD'VE always done more and I WOULD'VE if I had more operating capital and I SHOULD'VE had more hustle, more drive, more of what it takes to get to the Oprah level.  (Perhaps I am the only one who has felt like this).

During the past year I gave up my quest to become an entrepreneur---or a boomerpreneur as I affectionately "coined" it.  That led me to start looking for work again which I found, lost and found it again.  I will say this, once you've worked for yourself it's hard to go back and work for someone else---especially in an environment where you are just one of the faceless at the bottom of the totem pole.  The last time I felt that low was in my very first job nearly 40 years ago.  I am still learning to swallow my pride and say "Yes, suh" and "Naw suh" to the man. And it is appalling to see how corporate greed is out of control with little or no respect for their employees or consumers. (That's another blog post for another day).

My mortality has all of a sudden gotten really real.  Around Thanksgiving of last year, I became ill.  I thought it was a flu virus but I wasn't getting any better.  It zapped my energy and distanced me from the world.  On many occasions, I felt like I was near death.  And then a good friend of mine passed away.  I stopped writing publicly.  I stopped making the daily social media rounds.  I became a recluse and, ironically, after a few months, I discovered I could live without social media.

So why am I sharing this?  Because I know someone is going through something similar---if not more complicated than me.  I have learned a lot about me over the past year and, believe me, not all of it has been good.

Here are my takeaways:

1)  Stop fighting with the noise inside your head:  The negative thoughts will keep you from moving forward.  Life itself is full of ups and downs.  You only make matters worst when  you keep harping on your "woe is me mentality."

2)  Learn to manage stress:  When I find myself slipping into a mental place I don't want to go to, I pray, read my bible or play some old-school, upbeat music.  It changes the channel of my mind and takes me to a happy place where I can rejuvenate and renew my spirit.

3)  Be around people and things that inspire you:  When I disconnected from social media (especially Facebook) I cut out more than 80 percent of the noise that was affecting my world.  I became overwhelmed with the "perceived" success of my friends.  When I stopped connecting online,  I found other things to inspire me like taking walks at Umstead Park and going to the gym more often.   I also decided (with my husband) to change churches and I have actually found inspiration in many of my millennial co-workers. They keep me laughing and appreciate my wisdom.

4)  I am still resilient:  In my nearly 60 years on this earth I have learned that I can bounce back after bad things happen and I am still employable.

When a baby is learning to walk, they will fall many times before they finally gain the confidence to stand and walk on their own.  We all fail from time to time but it doesn't mean we are a total failure in life.  Failures are a part of life.  If you don't fail, you don't learn and if you don't learn you will never change.

Some Grandparents Need to get a Grip

Absolutely ridiculous!  That's how I describe a recent article I read about some grandparents wanting to pay cash money for the naming rights to their grandchildren. 

Last week, the New York Times reported about a new trend of grandparents offering cash and other incentives in exchange for naming their children's new babies, including one grandparent-to-be offering $10,000 for the naming rights to their grandson. This wasn't an isolated incident, with others offering things like a stake in a family business.

I thought the idea was so absurd but maybe I was in the "minority" as I often tend to be.  I decided to pose the question to my Facebook followers to gauge their radar on the subject and, lo and behold, we were all on one accord!

The best comments came from fellow grandparents like Auerlia who said, "That's just craziness if you ask me. I have 4 grands and never would never do such a thing even if I had all the money in the world. Grandparents obviously had their turn naming their own children...let the children have the same honor. #foolishnessI 

From another friend, Heidi, who said, "No, No, No to cash or other rewards for naming a grandchild or anyone else's child. Only parents to name their child. Now it is ok to give ideas, share stories behind names if asked by the parents."

Another comment from Jessica, meanwhile,  indicates she did suggest a name, "When my daughter was pregnant, I suggested the name Carter, just because I really liked the sound of it. After months of tossing names around in her head, my daughter did choose Carter.   I didn't force it on her. She just ended up really liking my suggestion. It was kind of cool that she picked my favorite, I won't lie.

On the flip side of this you have young mothers who choose create their own names they think are unique and cute not realizing the child has to live with that name for the rest of their lives. And pity on them if they can't even spell it  The sad thing in these cases is the fact that most of these mothers are "young" (and poor) and haven't taken time to consider the long term effects of their child's name.  (Probably because their name is jacked up too!)  Furthermore,  the grandparents of these grandchildren probably can't even afford to offer any money for naming rights.  Poor and Green don't mix well in our society.

So for those well-to-do-grandparents  who believe money can buy anything, including naming rights to their grandchildren, GET A GRIP, try developing a REAL conscience and put your money to some quality use.

It is, however, okay for you to want to help your struggling children-------but NOT with strings attached.

Take the Training Wheels Off Grandma

This week we bought my grandson a new bicycle. He got his first bike when he was two-years-old. He had to grow into it---even with the training wheels.

When we gave him the new bike the first thing he said was "Take the training wheels off grandma!" Of course, my heart sank at the thought of this four-year-old trying to ride his new "big boy bike" with no training wheels. But he kept insisting so we gave in and, lo and behold, he started riding in no time.

The moral to this story: You block your goals when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.

Jarod proved that he had more faith than fear.

Are Grandparents Going Overboard with Their Grandchildren

A survey conducted last year by BeGrand.net revealed that 81% of grandparents thought their grandchildren are more spoiled than they were. And they say it’s not just money, it’s far more than that.

As a grandmother myself, I say that's true and the sad thing is, I think spoiling my grandson at this stage may do him more harm than good down the road.

For example, I still iron because I like to iron and I like the way nicely pressed clothes look beyond permanent press. My grandson has gotten accustomed to having his clothes ironed. He now thinks everything he wears should be ironed, including his undershirts and boxers. That's something my mother used to do for my father but I ain't my mother.

Another thing is the fact that he has to have his strawberries and blueberries prepared in a certain way. The strawberries must be cut into halves with the blueberries on top, sprinkled with sugar.

He is also into the "preppy look." Now, I am not going to take 100 percent of the blame for this because his mother has a hand in his clothes shopping but between the two of us, we have given him a "Dapper Dan" complex.

I think there are many parents and grandparents who go above and beyond what is necessary to keep their children happy. The truth is, if a child grows accustomed to having it their way and being pampered all the time, then it stops being special treatment and becomes the "norm". To get them to appreciate what you do for them, you need to find a way to make them see how much effort you put in.

The best case scenerio, in my grandson's case, is that he will grow up and learn to do these things for himself---without relying on someone else to do them for him. He will also learn to appreciate how hard his grandma had to work to do those "special" things for him---and that's one lesson I definitely don't mind teaching.

So What Is This Baby Boomer Blog Really About

More often than not, I get emails from folks who are interested in being a guest blogger or offering something they think would be of value to my readers. Normally, I don't respond to them if I don't think it pertains to me but today I was feeling a little feisty and decided to challenge the recipient to the following email:

Baby Boomer Talk & other stuff
Ms. Beverly Mahone Blogger

Can we interest you in taking a look at this wonderful and unique pregnancy planner? The creator Pam (last name withheld) is also available for interviews.. She is a recognized professional organizer, has lots of really helpful ideas and advice, and is a great guest. If you'd like to receive a review copy, please verify your best street address and let us know how we can help you.

Paul (last name withheld), Publicist for Pam (last name withheld)

PREGNANCY PLANNER??? WHAT?! OK--so there is a picture of a little boy on my blog but he's my grandson and the blog header clearly states BABY BOOMER TALK and other stuff.

So here's what I wrote back:

You obviously haven't taken a look at my website because it has nothing to do with BABIES at all!

To which I received this response:

So sorry for the inconvenience. I work closely with media and try very hard to meet their needs.

You are absolutely correct. I didn’t look at your blog to see if it was a match, since over time I’ve learned that values and focus change so fast as publishers (yes even blog publishers) respond to what their audiences want and like. Basically targeting precisely sometimes is simply a bitch so I hope you can forgive me if we bring you something that’s not strictly in your desired area.

I bet he won't make that mistake again.