Is it Gym Sweat or a Hot Flash?

I just returned from another invigorating 40 minutes of aerobics at the gym. This is the only place where I can sweat like a pig and not freak out about it being a hot flash.

I must admit, working out these days is quite a challenge, especially when a hot flash seems to be the order of the day. It's also tougher since I seem to see little or no results for my efforts. My doctor says the weight gain is all a part of growing older and that I should keep exercising for health maintenance. WHATEVER! I want more than maintenance. I want to see some pounds drop off EVERY TIME I go into the gym. When I've finished my workout, I want to pick up my towel and water bottle and leave about five pounds of fat on the gym floor. Well actually I would have the decency to pick it up and throw it away because just leaving it there would be gross!

I'm really not complaining because I really do thank God that I'm able to get up and go workout because I know there are others who can't for one reason or another. And yes, the sweat is good because not only am I releasing toxins...I finally realize the gym is about the only place I can enjoy my "personal summer!"

Hello menopause! Welcome to MY world.

Was I having a Hot Flash or What?

Last weekend, I promised my baby boomer diva girlfriend, Donna Maria, that I would support her Teen Fest 2K7 project. So today, I kept my word and went over to North Carolina Central University to watch the performances of several talented young people from Raleigh-Durham and the surrounding area.

Donna Maria, being the spectacular woman that she is, managed to get two celebrity male judges to help her out. They were men I recognized from back in the day AND they're actually baby boomers themselves. You remember Christopher "Play" Martin from the Kid-n-Play House Party Movies? And then there was Darryl "DMC" McDaniel from the musical group RUN-DMC. They were the pioneers of hip-hop---when hip hop was still respectable. I used to love that song "Walk this Way."

Well anyway, at intermission, I took the opportunity to go over to them and introduce myself and give them a copy of my book. (Actually, Christopher is on my email buddy list). I told Darryl to give his copy to his wife Zuri. I suggested Chris give it to his mom, at which time he informed me she had passed away last month. It was at that moment that I wanted to give him a bear hug but then I thought I might not want to let go of that fine baby boomer man so I kept my composure and offered my condolenses.

Now here's where it gets a little blurry. During my interaction with these fine gentlemen I started to feel a little flush. You know, it was like a nervous perspiration but then I thought "Oh, I'm too old to be getting THOSE kind of feelings because I'm going through menopause, so I must be having a hot flash!"

Well, whatever it was---it actually felt pretty good.

Don't take "the change" too seriously

You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. (Hot flashes)

* The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. (Nightsweats)

* Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. (Mood swings)

* You write post-it notes with your kid's names on them. (Memory loss)

Your husband comes home from work ready for a little whoopee and your response is, "If you value your life you won't touch me!" (Irritability)

* The phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. (Sleeplessness)

* You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. (Fatigue)

* You change your underwear after every sneeze. (Mild incontinence)

* You need Jaws Of Life to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. (Sudden weight gain)

* You ask Jiffy Lube to give you a vaginal lube job. (Dryness)

* You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania". (Female hormone deficiency)

* You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. (Hormone therapy)

Enjoy the journey 'cause there's no turning back.

Beverly Mahone
Author
Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age
www.thebabyboomerdiva.com

Mid-life Crisis...Whatever!!

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down, which gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache and chest hair. In mid-life, we no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand in front of a mirror and see your rear end without turning around. Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to go topless. Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too!"

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones. Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?" And to make matters worse, your memory starts to go. As a matter of fact, the only thing we do retain is WATER.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? (I don't know about you but on a day like today, I SAY YES!!!)

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

Peace & Blessings,
babyboomerbev

You can read more of my middle age journey in "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age