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Don't take "the change" too seriously

You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. (Hot flashes)

* The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. (Nightsweats)

* Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. (Mood swings)

* You write post-it notes with your kid's names on them. (Memory loss)

Your husband comes home from work ready for a little whoopee and your response is, "If you value your life you won't touch me!" (Irritability)

* The phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. (Sleeplessness)

* You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. (Fatigue)

* You change your underwear after every sneeze. (Mild incontinence)

* You need Jaws Of Life to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. (Sudden weight gain)

* You ask Jiffy Lube to give you a vaginal lube job. (Dryness)

* You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania". (Female hormone deficiency)

* You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. (Hormone therapy)

Enjoy the journey 'cause there's no turning back.

Beverly Mahone
Author
Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age
www.thebabyboomerdiva.com

Comments

Carine said…
I'm so with you on all these points and more! I actually have been forgetting my present furry kids names and calling them by their former ones, who passed away over a decade ago. sob, moan, trying to laugh.

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