Celebrating Dr Seuss with Grandchildren

Dr. Seuss and I share something in common. We've both been around long enough to inspire a lot of children over the years.

I was always taught "reading is fundamental" and is tied to EVERYTHING you do in life. If you can't read, you can't effectively communicate. Not knowing how to read may result in having people cheat you out of your money. Poor reading skills may leave you jobless.

When my daughter, now 22, was learning how to talk, Dr. Seuss and I became her reader advocates. Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, I Can Read with My Eyes Shut--- all became favorites. Even though I had a full-time job, I always tried to find the time to go to my daughter's school and read to the class.

The same holds true today with my five-year-old grandson. I'm a rockin' reader grandma at his school. I want him to know how much I value reading and how much I support him in getting the best education he can---PLUS I absolutely adore his class. They all give me big hugs every time I visit.

Yes, Dr. Seuss and I are still hanging tough.

Parents Children and Guns Don't Mix

While preparing for my radio show this morning, I decided to do some research and talk about some of the most bizarre stories of 2011. During my search, I came across what has to be not only bizarre but one of the most ridiculous stories I've ever heard of in my life!

A 17-year-old Florida girl reportedly pistol-whipped her mother because the mother refused to sign a car loan for her. On top of that, the daughter held the gun to her mother's head and forced her to drive to the dealership, where her mother decided to sign the car loan. The daughter then drove off in her new Nissan 350Z.

Oh---and it gets worse. THE MOTHER REFUSED TO PRESS CHARGES BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO JEOPARDIZE HER DAUGHTER'S IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE ACCEPTANCES AND SCHOLARSHIPS.

Seriously???!!!

This is obviously the case of a spoiled brat who has lived a life of privilege. Her mother (and probably others) have catered to her every whim and the one time her mother decided to put her foot down, the daughter just wasn't having it.

This is definitely the extreme, but believe it or not more and more young people today live in a world of entitlment. Why? Because baby boomer and millennial parents have set a new definition for raising children.

Parents reach for their checkbooks whenever their grown children ask for money to pay their credit-card bills, parking tickets, real estate agent fees, medical expenses and insurance premiums. They buy them clothes, condos, new cars and vacations--and welcome them home again to live without asking them to pay rent.

As much as I thought I'd hate saying it, I am thankful for old school parents, who made me appreciate what it means to work hard to earn what I want.

There is no way in hell that a child should demand that a parent do anything for them. And the fact that this child threatened to kill her mother over a car makes me question the lack of parental guidance.

I wish my daughter would try to threaten me with some nonsense. I'll be calling the police and the undertaker.

Happy Grandparents Day

Did you know there are more than 70 million grandparents in the United States? I am one of them.

In 1979, President Jimmy Carter signed the official proclamation declaring the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day. That's the same year I graduated from Ohio University. Never thought much about the holiday since my grandparents on both sides were deceased and I wasn't even thinking about becoming a grandmother at the time.

According to the website, Grandparents.com, 43% became grandparents in their fifties, 37% in their forties, with the average age of grandparents in this country at 48. I becme a grandmother at 49. Other stats:

■72% take care of their grandchildren on a regular basis
■13% are primary caregivers
■60% live close to their grandchildren
■46% wish they could live even closer
■70% see the kids at least once a week
■66% travel with their grandkids
■81% have their grandkids for part or all of their summer vacation

On this day, I say Happy Grandparents Day! I salute every grandparent who has stepped up to the plate, sacrificed and helped make the life of a grandchild BETTER.

Are you one of them?

Welcome to the Real World My Child

Last week, my daughter returned to college. Instead of going back into the dorms, she decided she wanted her own place so she shopped around and found a nice little apartment about 10 minutes from campus.

What my daughter has quickly learned is having your own place costs money---especially if you like "new" and not "used" and you must do your homework before deciding on the best place for you.

Here are some of the things baby boomer parents can do to help make off campus life a pleasant experience:

Affordability
What can your college student afford? Help them evaluate their budget so they know how much rent they can afford without overextending financially. You might also suggest they consider a roommate, who can split the bills.

Utilities
Your college student should make sure they check to see what, if any, utilities are included as part of the rent. Sometimes landlords will pay for the water and heat for a tenant, whereas other landlords will not pay for any utilities. There are even a few landlords out there who will pay for all utilities for their tenants. This is something your college student should know before renting so that they can estimate their monthly budget accurately.

Location
When checking out apartments, check the location. It should be close to the campus so no one will have to worry about the long commute to class.

Credit Score/Background Check
If you haven't talked to your college student about credit, now's the perfect time. They need to know that when it comes to renting an apartment, there will almost always be a credit report and background check done on them. This is why places have application fees, because it costs money to run these reports. Have too many unpaid bills, or a history of getting into trouble with the law will result in your child being denied. Also, you should explain about co-signers. Because they are probably a first time renter and don’t have much of a history, they will, more than likelt, need a co-signer on the application.

Read the Lease Before You Sign It
Make sure they read every line of the lease before they sign it--and it would be a good idea if you read it too. This is important because it will contain the rules that the landlord requests by which they have to abide. The lease will contain what pets they can have, if any, what utilities they are responsible for, how much their rent is, when a late fee is charged, and what conditions they can break the lease, if at all.

Renters Insurance
Explain the importance of having renters insurance. Renters insurance is fairly inexpensive. This minor expense will insure their valuables against damage from fire or burglary. It is especially important for them to get covered if they have valuable items such as laptops, stereo equipment, and jewelry.

With some discipline and organization, your college student's first apartment renting experience can be satisfying as well as a huge learning experience.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

My husband and I are a part of a growing trend in America. We are grandparents taking on the role of primary caregivers for our grandson.

My daughter is a rising junior in college and since school is located out of town, we have agreed to raise him in her absence. We are among nearly 6 million grandparents who have grandchildren living with them. and

Here are more numbers from the Census Bureau about grandparent caregivers:

4-out-of-10 grandparents are responsible for the youngsters basic care.

5.8 million, the number of grandparents who live with one or more of their grandchildren under 18 years old.

4 percent, the percentage of people age 30 and older who live with grandchildren. The rate is 8 percent among blacks and Hispanics.

2.5 million, the number of grandparents responsible for most of the basic needs, such as clothing, food and shelter, of one or more grandchildren with which they live.

21 percent, the percentage of preschoolers who are cared for primarily by their grandparents while their mother is employed or in school.

Secrets and Lies

On Sunday, while on Facebook, I was befriended by someone with the same last name. It piqued my curiosity so I explored his page and discovered a "Mahone" family reunion coming up in August. How cool, I thought since I've never been to a family reunion on my father's side. But first, I had to confirm that I was related to this group of Mahones.

What I discovered in the hours following that had my head spinning and left more questions than answers.

I called my cousin in Maryland. She dropped a bombshell. My dad wasn't really a Mahone because the man I had known as "Grandpa Joe" wasn't really his father or my grandfather. Joseph Mahone apparently died about six weeks after my Uncle James was born---and my Uncle James was born nine years before my dad was born.

I will admit that about 30 years ago my Uncle James did mention something about him raising my daddy because he didn't have a daddy but Uncle James liked to drink so I heard what he said but wasn't really listening.

The journalist in me now wishes I had been doing more than listening and that I had grilled him on what the truth was.

I have no idea what my daddy knew or didn't know because he never talked about a father. Whatever he did know he took with him to his grave when he passed away in 1983.

That secret and whatever lies are associated with my dad's birth have also been buried with my grandmother and her siblings because they are all now dead as well.

What in the world could've been going in in 1925-26?

Living in Fear

I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 1999 at the age of 42. My father died of heart disease in 1983 at the age of 52.

In January of 2009, I started living in fear---fear that I would not live to see the age of 53---just like my dad.

Before being diagnosed with congestive heart failure, I assumed my symptoms were the result of menopause. I started experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms in my early 40s and went into full-blown menopause at 50. I’m writing this to tell you, DO NOT MAKE THAT ASSUMPTION. If you experience any of the following symptoms, you may be experiencing heart failure in addition to menopause:

•Shortness of breath during physical activity or even while lying in bed
•bloating
•a sudden weight gain ( I chalked this up to a slow down in metabolism)
•swollen feet, ankles or legs
•fatigue or weakness
•confusion or decreased alertness (I was calling this “meno-moments.”
•nausea or loss of apetite
•rapid or irregular heartbeat
•the need to urinate more often during the night
•waking up due to shortness of breath
•frequent cough or wheezing
•swollen neck veins (I thought this was solely related to my thyroid disorder)

When your heart isn’t pumping properly, blood from the lungs or from the rest of the body backs up—similar to the way traffic backs up at rush hour. So get out of your traffic jam, visit your doctor and get your heart checked. You owe it to yourself to get to the heart of the matter.

I'm happy to report that I made it past 52 this year but I'm not taking anything for granted.

Kids Say the Darndest Things about God

As a part of the nurturing process I talk to my three-year-old grandson about Jesus and God. While I'm not trying to make him "religious", I do want him to grow up and understand how important God is in all of our lives.

Afrer church this morning, we went to brunch. Before we ate, we blessed the food (as we always do). After tasting his eggs, Jarod said, "This food is good. Thank you God."

When we got home, I decided to lay down because I didn't feel too well. Jarod came into my room and said, "Grandma, you don't feel well?" I said, "No. I'm just going to lie down and get some rest for a little while."

As he was walking out of my room he said, "I'm gonna ask Jesus if you can come sleep with Him."

"No, no," I replied. "I think I'd like to just sleep in my own bed for now."

I couldn't help but smile through the tears.

Marriage The Second Time Around

Is marriage really better the second time around? As one who falls into that category, I say absolutely! I'm very excited and feel blessed to have been given another opportunity to love again.

Isn't it interesting how differently we think when we're young as opposed to when we grow older and wiser? When I look back over my younger days, I realize I spent way too much time craving the WRONG man for all of the RIGHT reasons. I wanted to feel love, to be loved, and to give love in return but the sex clouded my judgement in making sure I was choosing the right mate.

One of the beautiful things about growing older is it gives us the benefit of wisdom. That, in turn, allows us to make smarter choices. As for me, I'm smart enough not to believe in love at first sight anymore. One reason being, I don't see quite as well as I used to. I'm also smart enough to be more discriminating in my taste. I've learned how to weed out the imitation from the real thing.

So now I'm happy to say God has blessed me with a new love. He's a man who's strong enough to deal with my strengths, yet gentle enough to understand and cope with my emotional stress and strife. I'm totally enjoying my second marriage and yes, it makes lusting after him even better!

Excerpts taken from Chapter Two of my book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age

The Tea Party May Be for Boomers But Not For Babies

Last month, my three-year-old grandson joined our neighborhood youth soccer league. I wanted him involved in some type of sport so he could burn off some energy and learn how to play with others. So far---so good.

But what I have come to discover is, his coach---"Coach John"---is a proud member of the Tea Party. You know them---the gun toting, we don't like anything President Obama does, Sarah Palin supporters who are stockpiling weapons and daring anyone to take away their second amendment rights.

How did I find this out? When I created a Facebook Fan Page for the soccer group the other day, I invited everyone involved to become a fan. He did. I then went to his profile page and read his comments and also saw the people he was connected too--very scary.

This is certainly not someone I would want to be an influence in my grandson's life but so far, he hasn't been anything but decent and helpful to the kids, who are mostly African American.

I'm writing this post as an advisory to parents and grandparents. With social media being as prevelant as it is today, you can find out about anybody with a little research. Do your homework and know who your children are associating with---even if it's for the little activities like soccer.

The High Cost to Live

Two weeks ago my 90-year-old mother in law was diagnosed with lung cancer. According to her son/my husband, she never smoked a day in her life so this was surprising news. But that's not what this blog is all about.

This blog is about the prescription charges associated with treating this form of cancer. The doctor who treated her during her stay in the hospital wrote a prescription for a drug called Tarceva and told us the cost for a 30-day supply would be between $5,000 and $7000 depending on her insurance coverage. Medicare, we were told, doesn't cover the expense because it is an experimental drug. We were also told there was no guarantee with the medication. It might prolong her life for six months.

My first question is, what ingredients could be in a pill that would warrant charging that much money?

My mother in law is 90-years-old and spent her entire career as a nurse. If she is being used as a guinea pig, why isn't the drug FREE?

How can a drug company in good conscious charge such an outrageous price for medication knowing the average person who needs it can't afford it?

As caregivers, we don't want to be put in a position where we have decide to let our loved one die because we can't afford the meds.

There are literally thousands of baby boomers just like us who are caring for aging parents and are facing similar situations. Please let us hear from you

And as for those people who remain adamantly opposed to health care reform, may God save you from yourself.

Life's an Interesting Trip on Facebook

For the past several months I have been re-connecting with old high school and college classmates from the '70s via Facebook. Some of these people were truly my friends, while others had very little to say to me back then because I wasn't a part of their "in crowd."

As I read through some of their posts I am somewhat amazed that these are the SAME people I knew back then. Back then some were ready to kick my butt over the smallest of things. Some just didn't like me because of my skin complexion or the fact that I made good grades while others were simply jealous over the fact that I made the cheerleading squad and they didn't.

These re-connections have made me realize a few things:

Kids really do grow up.

Thank God there is a God and some of my former classmates have discovered the Bible.

Holding on to old grudges serves no purpose--besides the other person has probably long forgotten what the dispute was all about.

Real maturity comes when you learn to start judging others from the inside out instead of vice versa.

Everyone deserves a second chance to be a better person.

It's still nice to be remembered.

Join me as a I take another trip down memory lane on Sunday, February 28 during my interview with a former high school school mate who went on to have a successful NFL career.

BlogTalk Radio 7pm EST.

Being From Ohio is Not All Good

I grew up in Ohio. I have always been proud of that fact until I read the list of America's Most Miserable Cities, as reported by Forbbes.com. It seems Ohio holds the dishonor of having not one---not two---but FIVE cities on that list.

1. Cleveland
9. Canton
12. Akron
15. Toledo
18. Youngstown

Although my hometown of Canton is known for the Football Hall of Fame and birthplace of President William McKinley, the city was cited for have a low population of intellectuals. According to Forbes.com, only 18 percent of adults living there have a college degree. I guess a lot of people followed my lead in the 1970s and migrated elsewhere after graduating from college.

Akron may be the home of Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James but that's obviously not enough to keep it off the miserable list. Apparently Akron has some of the highest local income taxes in the state.

Youngstown was a miserable city when I was living there 30 years ago but it's apparently gotten worse. It was cited as being high in political corruption.

And then there's Cleveland. In spite of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and a revitalized downtown waterfront, the mistake by the lake, according to Forbes.com, is touting high crime and high unemployment and beyond miserable winters.

To see the complete list of America's Most Miserable Cities, click here: Miserable Cities

Let There Be Light

About two years ago, I called City Hall to ask them to send someone out to repair a street light that had apparently blown a bulb. At that time, someone said they would take care of it---but never did. I called again several weeks later and was told they received tons of repair requests and would get to mine as soon as possible.

Time passed and I forgot about that light until today. Much to my surprise there was a repair truck in our neighborhood right in front of that light. When I approached the repairman I told him I couldn't believe it took them over two years to finally answer my call. He told me if wasn't MY call he was responding to. It was actually my neighbor, Kathy, whose call he was responding to.

When Kathy came home from work I made it a point to thank her for getting some action taken on that light---and much to my surprise again---she had no clue as to what I was talking about. She never even knew the light needed fixing. Imagine that!

Maybe she didn't remember because she called years ago like I did.

But here's the point of this story: When you contact city government, always be sure to get a NAME of everyone you speak to so you can always refer back to that person. And it wouldn't hurt to write down the dates and times you call. Had I done those things I would've had more ammunition for an argument.

Meanwhile, I'm just glad our street light is working again.

Whose to Blame When Children Fail?

This week a former principal in my community died from an apparent heart attack. Earl Pappy was 51. I met him once in 2008 when I brought actress Bern Nadette Stanis to his school to speak to the drama students. (pictured on the left of Ms. Stanis). My first and only impression of him was he was nice. But that's not what this post is about.

Mr. Pappy was forced to resign last year because of his school's continued low academic performance ranking. Of all of the high schools in the area, Hillside was dead last. The school had been on the steady decline for several years. Mr. Pappy was supposed to change all that when he moved from the same position in Richmond, VA. It didn't happen and parents complained LOUDLY.

Here's my question: If high school students can't read or perform academically on the high school level, is that the Principal's fault? If students came into the school with a behavior issue, is the principal responsible?

By the time students get to high school,they should have it pretty much together. I say try going back to grade school level--maybe an elementary teacher should've held the child back when she discovered he couldn't read, write or add. Or better yet, try going into some of the homes of these same parents who were doing all of the complaining. That's where you'll find many of the failures.

Parents want to blame teachers for their childrens shortcoming. Yes, I definitely think teachers should be held accountable, however, it's also up to parents to stay on top of things to make sure their children are getting what they need. If you wait to high school, that's way too late.

If a parent wants to blame one individual for their child's failures, maybe they should look in the mirror.

The Challenge of Raising a Black Male

My daughter returned to college this week after a three week holiday break. Having her home gave me a much needed vacation from her three-year-old son.

But now I am wearing the mommy/grandma hat again and dealing with a growing, inquisituve and challenging little boy. At three, he is now starting to test his limits and testing my nerves.

This means he is beginning to defy authority and assert his growing independence. Everything I've read indicates I should recognize that this is a developmental stage. Frequent eruptions and disobedience can be a sign of a strong-willed child, the experts say, and being strong-willed is not such a bad thing in today’s world.

Does this also apply if the child is a black male?

Some of my well-meaning friends don't take too kindly when I bring up race as a factor in how my grandson will be treated in the future. But when CNN does a story indictating that most employers say they would rather hire a white male who's a convicted felon over an African-American male with no criminal background, I have to wonder how my grandson's strong-willed manner will play out in society in the future.

Whether you want to admit or accept it, the playing field is not level for black males in this society, so it's up to me to make sure that strong will my grandson exhibits now, will be something positive and powerful in his future.

Ugly Sweaters at Christmas

It's that time of year again when we decorate our homes with a beautiful Christmas tree and festive lights. Then you have some of us who choose to decorate ourselves with some of the ugliest sweaters ever seen and then parade around town as if we were in a fashion show.

Today while shopping at Costco's I saw some of the most hidious looking sweaters I'd ever seen--and they were all worn by baby boomer women! I obviously didn't get the memo on this one and if I did, I'm glad I didn't read it.

One woman actually had on a sweater with blinking light bulbs. To top things off, another woman wore her reindeer sweater with a matching antler hat. Now I think if these sweaters had been worn by children, I might've been more inclined to say how cute they looked but when you're in your 50s and 60s, maybe it's time to give up that tradition---unless you're wearing it in the privacy of your home or just for family and friends.

I tried to find three similar sweaters to give you an illustration of what I saw today. Which one do you think is the UGLIEST--or have you actually seen worst?

I Was a Victim of Pornography Spam

Imagine my surprise when I went to my mailbox the other day and got more than my eyes had bargained for! Here's a short video clip of that tells my story:

Has Tiger Woods Messed Things Up for ALL Men

Yesterday I found myself threatening to check my husband's cell phone for any suspicious numbers all because of Tiger Woods. Now, don't get me wrong. I have absolutely NO reason to mistrust my husband but I did become somewhat concerned after calling him several times, leaving messages and getting no response for a few hours. Certainly, many women can attest to the fact that a few hours can seem like an eternity if suspicion and doubt start creeping into your mind.

When he finally called me back, he told me he had left his phone in the car and didn't feel like going back to get it once he got into the office. I told him I would be checking his phone when he got home to see if there were some strange numbers in it (like Tiger's wife did). He said, "Tiger has messed things up for ALL men!" We got a chuckle out of that--but to be honest, when a scandal like that breaks--all of a sudden many husbands become a suspect. And maybe, righfully so--according to Donny Deutsch (from the Big Idea of MSNBC). The other night on Larry King, Deutsch said the scandal will only make Woods seem more human and thus even more desirable as an endorser. He also said Tiger hasn't done anything that at least 50 percent of men have done.

Really?

Maybe there is some truth to that. Remember Presidential Candidate John Edwards, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, President John F. Kennedy and yes, even my first husband is in that group. But unlike the others, my ex didn't have enough money to make me want to stay.

School Fundraising Project Comes Under Fire

It was supposed to be a fundraiser to help the school generate some much needed money for supplies:

Rosewood Middle School price list

♦A $20 donation buys 10-point credits to be used on two tests of the student's choice.

♦A $30 donation buys the test points and admission to a 5th-period dance.

♦A $60 donation buys students test points, the dance invitation, and a "special 30-minute lunch period with pizza, drink and the choice to invite one friend to join them."

♦Photo ops with Rosewood principal Susie Shepherd, the vice principal, and a home room teacher go for $75. The photos will be posted on a school bulletin board and on the school's Web site.

The Principal thought it was a good idea when it was recommended to her by the parent advisory council but District School Administrators had the last say and nixed the idea. Some said exchanging grades for money teaches children the wrong lessons. It is also a bad testing practice and is unfair to students whose parents can't pay.

But some parents were willing to pay to help the school raise some much needed funds because last year's fundraising efforts of selling chocolates didn't raise one dime.

So what do you think? Would you pay to help your child earn extra credit in school--especially if they really needed it?