Is marriage really better the second time around? As one who falls into that category, I say absolutely! I'm very excited and feel blessed to have been given another opportunity to love again.
Isn't it interesting how differently we think when we're young as opposed to when we grow older and wiser? When I look back over my younger days, I realize I spent way too much time craving the WRONG man for all of the RIGHT reasons. I wanted to feel love, to be loved, and to give love in return but the sex clouded my judgement in making sure I was choosing the right mate.
One of the beautiful things about growing older is it gives us the benefit of wisdom. That, in turn, allows us to make smarter choices. As for me, I'm smart enough not to believe in love at first sight anymore. One reason being, I don't see quite as well as I used to. I'm also smart enough to be more discriminating in my taste. I've learned how to weed out the imitation from the real thing.
So now I'm happy to say God has blessed me with a new love. He's a man who's strong enough to deal with my strengths, yet gentle enough to understand and cope with my emotional stress and strife. I'm totally enjoying my second marriage and yes, it makes lusting after him even better!
Excerpts taken from Chapter Two of my book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age
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5 comments:
What a fabulous way to celebrate your middle age: being in love with such an incredible man. Better yet, you married him--way to go, Beverly!
Ah, insightful At least you got it the second time around. What about the folks still trying to get it and on 3 4 or 5?
What assessment criteria did you use? I am really thinking literal like a medical history checklist. Did you have one when you dated?
I always appreciate your crisp refreshing insights.
How wonderful it is to be able to recognize the wisdom you've gained (through living!) and at the same time be able to apply it to your life today.
Congratulations Beverly on your beautiful second marriage. I have too many friends who have not been so blessed. First marriages behind them, they are still searching for that soul mate and it is proving difficult to find the gentlemen gems that are out there.
Does your husband have any eligible brothers - lol!
Rosie,
I had to do some personal healing and be very honest with myself about what my shortcomings were as a wife. I think one of the main reasons 3rd and 4th marriages fail is because people don't learn from the mistakes made in the first marriage. They just keep adding up.
There is possibly another reason too Beverly. I read sometime ago how the pill can affect our sense of smell. Smell plays a big part in being attracted to someone. Pheronomes play a big part in the lives of animals and it also does with us.
If you were on the pill when you met your first husband and now no longer on it, this may also account for the difference too. I know it all sounds scientific but I do believe this to be factual. I know I love the smell of my current husband and I hadn't been on the pill for quite sometime before I met him. I do know that somewhere along the line I lost the attraction/interest in my previous husband while I transitioned from being on the pill to being off it.
Of course that wasn't the reason for our splitting up - he was becoming abusive and we'd had problems for sometime but I can't help wondering if I hadn't been on the pill when I met him, I may not have been attracted to him in the first place.
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