When Your Best Isn't Good Enough

My four-year-old grandson is facing a dilemna that he is totally unaware of. Although he is READY for kindergarten, both emotionally and academically, he will not be permitted to attend next year because his birthdate falls past the cutoff date. The cutoff date is August 31---his birthday is September 6.

We were given three options:

1) Get tested for the Durham Public Schools Pre-Kindergarten Program
2) Get tested for early entrance in kindergarten
3) Return to daycare

On Wednesday, my grandson was tested by the Durham Public Schools Pre-K program. He scored in the 94 percentile. The tester told my daughter she was very impressed with his skills but was doubtful that he would be accepted because his score was TOO HIGH. He needed to score BELOW 60 percent. What in the %!#$%*!?! Are they serious?!

Option Two: In order to be tested for early entry into kindergarten, we must pay $500 to see if he will score in the 98 percentile. And if he doesn't pass, well, too bad--there's no refund.

Option Three: Return to daycare with two, three and four year olds. NOT A VIABLE OPTION!

My grandson proved this week that he deserves to be in kindergarten but because of some ridiclous North Carolina Board of Education Law, he may be held back because he will have to be on a first grade level in order to pass a test for kindergarten.

Sadly, the same system that is trying to promote academic excellence is also the same one that is holding kids back from being able to shine when they're ready.

So what happens when my grandson does finally enter kindergarten at 6 years old and is bored out of his mind because he already knows what 70 percent of his fellow classmates don't know? Will he then be considered a discipline problem?

How do you tell a child their best isn't good enough when you know in your heart, it really is?

Baby Boomers and the Easter Parade

Hey baby boomers, do you remember when you were little and how you got all dressed up to go to church on Easter Sunday? My church, like many others I'm sure, was known as Fashion Central with mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandmas, grandpas and others modeling their finest attire. It was a time in the history of the baby boomer generation where you could look pretty with nothing hanging out, too revealing or too short and a boy's pants certainly were halfway off his butt.

Now that I'm older, I no longer put on my easter bonnet for the Easter parade. That tradition has been passed down to my grandson who, by the way, doesn't just show up in church on Easter to showcase his style.

Do you have a favorite Easter memory? Please share it here and HAPPY EASTER!

Called to Serve on Jury Duty

Recently, I received notice in the mail that I have been summoned for jury duty. This is only the second time in my adult life that I have been called. The first time I was dismissed because I worked in television news.

Being summoned for jury duty has got me to thinking. Will I really be a juror of the "alleged" suspect's peers? Suspects are always told they will be tried by a jury of their peers. So does that mean I will be listening to the case of a fellow college-educated baby boomer who has committed some horrendous crime? A college-educated baby boomer between the ages of 50 and 60 is a description of what I would consider my "peer."

Instead, I will more than likely be subjected to hearing the case of some low life, young person who has a criminal record as long as my arm. It will likely be a child who didn't come from a stable home environment and had no real male role models in his life.

No, I definitely am not a peer but it certainly is frightening to think, as a grandmother, that it will be probably be somebody's grandson.

Grandchildren and Identity Theft

Mama needs a new car but she doesn't have enough money and her credit is bad. What does she do? She uses her child's social security number to establish herself a new line of credit. Sound far-fetched? Actually, it isn't.

Child identity theft is on the rise and it could affect your grandchild. According to Researcher Richard Power, children make perfect targets because they have no records and the crime usually isn't discovered until they become an adult.

Among the 4,311 children found to have distressed identity records, 300 were under five-years-old years old. Nearly 1,800 cases involved utility service records, such as bogus electricity service accounts. There were also 500 kids’ names attached to mortgages or foreclosures, and 415 of the kids had driver's licenses.

Among the more serious cases: a 16-year-old girl in Arizona with 33 credit accounts linked to her name, including three mortgages.

How does this happen? According to the report, the primary reasons for child identity theft are illegal immigration (e.g., to obtain false IDs for employment), organized crime (e.g., to engage in financial fraud) and friends and family (e.g., to circumvent bad credit ratings, etc.), the report says. And, more often than not, it is someone the child knows.

To learn more about how to protect your child or grandchild from identity theft, read this great article from CreditCards.com: Child ID Theft

Four Letter Words Aren't Always Bad

At some point every child hears and eventually says their first "four letter" word. That happened this evening at choir pratice.

My grandson and the other members of the Cherubs Choir were singing the song, "Hail Jesus You're My King" and when the music stopped, one little girl politely announced to the choir director that she wasn't allowed to sing the song because it had a bad word in it. To her, "hail" sounded like that other four-letter word we all know as h-e-l-l. At that point, the choir director proceeded to explain the difference and then thanked the parents for teaching children not to say those four-letter bad words.

No doubt, our children and grandchildren are going to be exposed to bad words at some point in their lives. We as parents and grandparents must explain to them that even though they may hear other people using profanity that we expect them to behave better than that and that it is not acceptable.

It is also important that your children never hear you use profanity. Our children learn most from the example we give them. If they hear you using "four letter" words it is only a matter of time until they start using them as well. After explaining that it is not acceptable for them to use profanity you need to go on to explain why. It will further reinforce that they should not be swearing once they understand that words can hurt people just like hitting or kicking.

This little girl did the right thing at choir rehearsal and we all are better for it.

Talking to Grandchildren About Death

My four-year-old grandson's father is dead. As a matter of fact, he never got to know his father because he was murdered prior to his birth.

Up until now, his mother and I have chosen not to discuss this tragedy but lately, this little boy's inquiring mind has been wanting to understand more about what life and death is all about.

Long before we realize it, children become aware of death. They see dead birds, insects, and animals lying by the road. They may see death at least once a day on television.

Meanwhile, we, as adults, do our best to shield our children from the sting of death. Many of us are inclined not to talk about things that upset us. We try to put a lid on our feelings and hope that saying nothing will be for the best. But not talking about something doesn't mean we aren't communicating. Children are great observers. They read messages on our faces. We express ourselves by what we do, by what we say, and by what we do not say.

Primary care physician Dr. Claire McCarthy says, "No matter the circumstances, teaching children about death is hard. We don’t want childhood to be sad, so we don’t like to talk about death."

In my grandson's case, I chose to tell him his dad has gone to be with Jesus. His response was "Can I go live with them?"

My reply: "Jesus will send for you when you're finished helping him out here--and that will be a long time from now."

How would you have responded?

Grandma's Little James Brown

Children are like sponges, soaking up all information they can get. They learn from watching their parents, grandparents, from daycare and school and even from listening to music.

Earlier this week, I picked up my four-year-old grandson from daycare and proceeded to go to the bank. As we were riding along, I had James Brown's song, Say It Loud I'm Black and I'm Proud, blasting on my CD player. I'm cruising along--- singing---and, all of a sudden, Jarod decides to chime in.

Mind you, Jarod has never seen James Brown before or heard any of his music before this day so you can imagine my total surprise when we walked into the bank and he starts dancing and singing VERY LOUDLY, "Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud..." . Fortunately, there weren't many people in the bank and no one could see my face turning red. I immediately explained that we had been listening to the song in the car and weren't coming into the bank to start a revolution.

I then softly told Jarod that he needed to have his quiet voice on when we were in the bank. Do you know what he did? He whispered as loud as he could, "Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud!"

I haven't had a conversation with him yet to see if he really understands what that song means or was he just singing it because grandma was. Althought I saw this as one of our funniest moments together, I also hope he will hold those words in his heart with a sense of pride in who he is.

Certainly, being a black male in this society will be a conversation that must be addressed.