Making a Difference in the Lives of Others

There are some people who always talk about making a difference and then there are those who actually DO it without all the talk.  Eric Moore was the latter.  When I checked into Facebook before bed Sunday night, I read the news but couldn't quite process it.  I thought people were singing his praises because of some accomplishment until I saw the letters R.I.P. I was heartbroken!  It didn't seem real.  He just celebrated a birthday and, because of procrastination, I didn't even get a chance to wish him a happy one.

Although Eric is no longer with us in the physical body, he will always remain with me (and countless others) in spirit.  His social media page is flooded with accolades for all he has meant to students, black sports information directors and black college sports in general for more than 40 years.  

I met "Mr. Moore" in 1977 as a student at Ohio University.  He taught RTV-400 (film editing class).  It was a required class.  Imagine my surprise when I saw he was black.  He was the ONLY black face in the Communications department.  He was young and handsome and very personable.  I just knew I was going to do well in his class because he wouldn't dare fail a sista'  Yeah, right!  After a few missed assignments, he pulled me aside and told me I needed to get my act together because I wasn't passing.  I decided to drop the class and sign up again at a later time.  And guess what?  I got him again!  This time I was like a sponge in learning everything he had to teach about editing.  I had something to prove and I wanted him to know I was determined to shine.  (I finished with a B in the class as I recall).

Over the years, I stayed in touch with him to thank him for lighting a fire under me and not letting me slide for the Black and Proud movement.  Every time I had to splice some audio tape in the newsroom, I thought of him and all that I had learned.  He was my mentor.

Who knew that when I moved to NC our paths would cross again.  He was in Raleigh--less than 30 minutes from me.  We would see each other at the CIAA Tournament games and catch up for old time sake.  We chatted on the phone occasionally and I always asked about Betty and the children (who weren't the "little ones" I remembered).

What I discovered was he never stopped teaching and helping young people develop their media craft. A number of us from Ohio U fondly reflect on his guidance and support.  He poured so much  of his knowledge into so many and made everyone feel important.

So much love pouring out on his FB page:

The man… The legend… The GURU!!! My first mentor in the athletic profession who helped develop me over rhe years! Rest easy  Eric N. Moore! You are the best to do it on this side of heaven! You will definitely be missed.  ~Tonia Walker  

I am truly grateful for knowing Eric N. Moore! My Sports Information days became so much easier when his “little Worrisome Child” would call him if I could not figure something out and he would calmly say, ”T, just breathe it’s nothing a click or the push of a key can’t fix.” T.t. White

In each life, if you’re lucky you get chance at having incredible wisdom, personal experience, intelligence, laughter and genuine care and concern pass your way, it makes you soar. Eric N. Moore was indeed an educator ahead of his time and wished that for us all. ~Ricardo Morgan

If you had a stressful day, his laugh would definitely change that. Mr. Moore, as I always called him, was one of the more selfless people I have come across. He took pride in helping others succeed. ~Sean Robinson

 "Moore, 71, was an innovator with his www.onnidan.com website, but more than that he helped anybody in the business who needed it."  John Dell

He truly made a difference and I am forever grateful that our paths crossed.

(photo courtesy of onnidan.com)

When Teens Lose a Loved One

My grandson's great grandfather (on his father's side) passed away unexpectedly sometime between late last night and early this morning.  He died in his sleep.  My daughter called us shortly before 2:00 am with the devastating news and, without hesitation, we got out of bed and rushed over to the house where family members had already gathered.  

I could see the heartbreak and pain on my grandson's face.  He and his "pawpaw" were very close and "pawpaw" made no secret that Jarod was his favorite out of all of the great-grands.  In that moment, I was at a loss for words but I needed to hug him and let him know it was going to be all right even though it didn't feel that way at the moment.  Jarod has never experienced death on this magnitude.  Yes, he has known people who died but they were either very old (and expected) or they were casual acquaintances who got mixed up with the wrong crowd which led to their untimely demise.

I couldn't help thinking that Jarod was going to experience this trauma many more times as those he loves pass away.  I knew, in that moment, that I wouldn't be able to shield him from the grief he is going through now and what he will feel in the future.  

Death is never easy to deal with and it's got to be extremely hard for young people who spend their young lives loving their older grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.  

I can't do it now but at some point I will let him know:

1.  It's OK to grieve.  It's normal.  Holding your emotions inside will only create turmoil on down the road.

2.  You will get through it, even though it doesn't feel like it right now.

3.  You're not alone.  Others have feelings they have to work through as it relates to the loved one's death.

4.  Cherish the memories and when you're ready, share them with others.  It will help the healing process.

5.  Allow your best friend to be there for you.  Shutting everyone out can lead to isolation and a state of depression.

The experts say it's never a good idea to direct what a grieving teenager should do, say or feel.  Don't force them to talk if they don't want to---but when he's ready I'll be there.

I know my time is coming, too, at some point.

Young People Prefer a Mortgage Over Marriage

 

The pandemic has put a number of things on pause over the past couple of years----and one of those things seems to be marriage. According to a recent survey, on behalf of Coldwell Banker, more young people say they are committed "to have and to hold" a mortgage rather than to take a trip down the aisle "for better or for worse." As a matter of fact, 82 percent of unmarried Americans would rather invest in a home than pay for a big expensive wedding.

85 percent of unmarried females say they would rather invest in a home than spend money on a big, fancy, expensive engagement ring.

77 percent of the respondents say they prefer to pay a mortgage than spend money on a luxurious vacation.

 45 percent of Millennials and Generation Z say owning a home is an important financial goal for them compared to 30 percent of people 55 years and older. 

47 percent of the respondents say they choose homeownership over renting.

 44 percent of college graduates say owing a home is a more important financial goal than paying off student debt. 

  In 2021, there were an estimated 1.9 million weddings. The average wedding cost $25, 764. Meanwhile, the number of new homeowners increased by more than two million. So for better or for worse, to have and to hold....it looks like mortgages are winning out over engagement rings. 

This survey was conducted online within the United States by The Harris Poll on behalf of Coldwell Banker from October 21 - 25, 2021 among 2,027 adults ages 18 and older. 

What to Do and NOT DO in a Foreign Country Part III

First and foremost, if you're going to be traveling out of the country you need to know what the weather is going to be like.  Just because it's Fall in the United States with cooler temperatures (normally), that may not be the case in other places.  We expected it to be warm in the Dominican Republic in September but it was "muy caliente!!!" and the humidity was totally unbearable for me as someone who has difficulty breathing in extreme heat because of congestive heart failure. It was impossible for me to prepare for that kind of heat so it was imperative that the air conditioning worked WELL in our room!

Other things to know: 

What is the primary language?  You can't assume everyone speaks English everywhere in the world.  As a matter of fact, out of 195 countries in the world, 67 list English as their primary language.  If you don't know the language, find an app to assist you.  There are quite a few to choose from like Google Translate,  TripLingo and make the effort to say a few words in the primary language.  I can't tell you the number of times I said, "Hola!" "Como Estas?" Muy bien, y tu?" and "Gracias." Thankfully, taking Spanish in high school and college helped out. 

Check your room thoroughly:  Don't just assume that when you walk in and it looks nice, that means everything is OK.  We had to change rooms twice.  The first time was because the TV didn't work.  The second time was because there was no jacuzzi in the room that was part of the package deal.  Because we arrived on a Tuesday, it was easier for the hotel to make the changes rather quickly but if you check in on a Thursday or later, you may have some frustrations.

If there's a concierge service, take advantage of it: It may cost extra, but it is well worth it in my opinion.  At the Resort we stayed at, the concierge is known as the Butler and it took us a couple of days to find that out but once we did it was smooth sailing from there.  Anything we needed or requested was handled by the Butler service.  

 Know where everything is:  If you are staying at a resort or all-inclusive hotel, take some time, after check-in, to know where things are.  It may require you to walk around but if you do it early on you won't end up wasting a lot of time trying to figure out where to go when you should just be relaxing and enjoying the trip.  

Know what the main currency is:  We spent time trying to figure out if we should exchange our American dollars into the currency of the Dominican Republic, which is the peso.  We learned that our dollars would be accepted.  As a matter of fact, one peso is the equivalent of $0.018 on the dollar.  

Please Understand the Tipping policy and tip generously:  Even if you stay at an all-inclusive, you may want to consider tipping for various services (unless it specifically says ALL-INCLUSIVE INCLUDING TIPS).  Prior to leaving for the Dominican Republic, I asked a couple of people I knew in the U.S. what was the customary tipping amount.  I was surprised to learn that the average was $2.00 (because ya'll know in this country, servers would feel totally insulted if you left them a $2.00 tip on a $20-$30 meal).  Because the currency is different in the Dominican Republic, a $5.00 goes a long way.

See and Do as much as you can:  The purpose of a vacation is to get away and enjoy yourself.  If you're traveling to a foreign country, that's all the more reason to take advantage of all the country (area) has to offer.  You may never get the opportunity to visit again.

Know what you can and cannot eat or drink:  There may be items on a menu that sound appetizing but you need to think about your digestive system and the impact eating such items will have. Even when the food sounds similar to what you may have eaten in the past, it may be prepared differently.  In the Dominican Republic, it is NOT SAFE to drink the water unless it's bottled water and you need to see them bring it to you in the bottle!  They also warn against eating raw fish or cerviche.  At one of the finer restaurants we went to, there was goat on the menu, which is a delicacy there, but we weren't willing to experiment.

Be Friendly:  When you're in a foreign country, you are going to meet people from other parts of the world.  That's a grand opportunity to learn more about their who, what, where, when, why and how story.  Perhaps that's just the journalist in me (lol!)  I met a couple who was honeymooning from Canada, a man from Ukraine, people from other parts of the Caribbean and it was fascinating to talk to them.   For those of you who know me, you know I'm a very outgoing person.  I never meet a stranger.  I believe we as human beings share more in common than we have in differences.  Communicating with others helps create the memories of a lifetime that you can share---just like I'm sharing with you.

The Airport and Flight Experience When You Travel Abroad Part II

Before you arrive at the airport for your international trip, it's a smart idea to do a couple of things:

1)  Check with your travel agent (if you used one) to make sure everything is in order.  If you have to make any changes (like a name change) try to do it well enough in advance because your airline ticket must be an identical match to what's on your passport.

2)  Check on travel restrictions.  Depending on where you're going will determine what restrictions are in place due to COVID.  This website has information to help you know what the restrictions are:  INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL  Although we didn't need to show proof of vaccination prior to leaving, it was mandatory that we be tested prior to arriving back into the United States.  It's also important to know what type of test is required for you to return.  And be sure to set up that test with the hotel once you get there because you probably won't be the only one trying to get tested on the same day.

3)  Check in with your airline.  When you go online, you can choose your seat or get an upgrade and get additional information regarding the flight's status.  You should also check to see how much you'll be charged for your baggage.  American charges $30 for EVERY bag.  

4)  Know what to pack in your carry-on.  If you pack toothpaste, lotion, or face cream, it will be confiscated.  The smart thing to do is to put those items in the checked luggage so you won't end up without them. 

5)  Once you arrive at the airport and check in with your passport, you may find out you have to complete paperwork in order to get into the foreign country.  (We learned that if you don't fill it out PRIOR to arrival at your destination, you will not be admitted until it's completed---no matter how LONG it takes).    

6)  Be prepared for some discomfort on the plane.  Depending on where you sit and how long your legs are, you could in for some discomfort.  The longer the flight, the more discomforting it could become.  If you can afford it, you should do business or first class. Our flight took approximately three and a half hours so it wasn't too bad.  And thankfully, there were no Karen's, Becky's or Billy Bob's on any of our flights!

7)  You may be subject to a random customs check in the foreign country.  There is no rhyme or reason for it.  Some people just get singled out.  

8)  Look  out for the hustlers! Prior to traveling to the Dominican Republic, we were warned about people who would be trying to talk us into buying timeshares:

TIMESHARE ADVISORY - When you arrive at your destination, even before you leave the customs area, you may be approached by many aggressive timeshare sales agents. Timeshare sales agents are very persistent and may entice you with offers of complimentary breakfasts, free transfers, discounted tours, etc., in exchange for your attendance at a presentation designed to sell their property. Timeshare selling can and does take place in many locations, including the airport, hotel lobbies, and even on the beaches and streets. These sales agents are in no way associated with your ground transportation operator or with Costco Travel.

In my next post, I will share some do's and don't while vacationing in a foreign country.  

Things to Know When Traveling Abroad Part I

 

The last time I traveled out of the country was in 2006.  Needless to say, quite a bit has changed since then.  First, I didn't need to have a passport to travel to St. Lucia and there was no world-wide pandemic.

In mid-September, my husband and I traveled to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic to celebrate his birthday.  It was intended to be a surprise for him but it was full of surprises for OTHER reasons!  Here are some things you need to know before traveling out of the country:

1)  Everyone is trying to leave the U.S.!  When countries started to open back up again and the United States eased some of its travel restrictions abroad, everybody was trying to get away after being cooped up in their own little bubbles for so long.  Passport offices were swamped with appointments causing longer than usual delays in receiving service.

2) You need a passport.  This goes without saying---but it's important to know that if you don't have one, it could take weeks just to get an appointment at your local post office or passport center.  We started the process in early June and was unable to get an appointment until mid July.  Then we were told it could take up to 16 weeks to receive our passports, provided everything was in order.  Getting them in 16 weeks would've meant we would have to cancel our trip.

New passport application fee:  $110

Execution fee:  $35

Picture fee:       $25 (Walmart can do it for a cheaper price)

3) Sign up for an Expedited Passport: This is only necessary if you need the passport in a hurry but then there's no 100 percent guarantee that if will arrive in time if your trip is less than six weeks away.  You will pay an extra $60/person.  We were told paying extra would shave off about 2-4 weeks for expected arrival time.  That was cutting it EXTREMELY CLOSE for us but we paid the extra fees.  

4)  Make sure all of your documentation matches:   Documentation you will need to present are your driver's license, your birth certificate, and social security card.  Your passport is supposed to reflect what's on your driver's license.  I had a problem because my DL still shows my maiden name but I was initially told that wouldn't be a problem because I had my marriage license to show I was legally married.  THAT TURNED OUT NOT TO BE TRUE!!! 

5)  What to do when there's a DELAY:  My squeaky clean husband received his passport in about two weeks (the first week of August), while I was still trying to understand why we didn't receive them at the same time.  If you are married, I've learned it's not unusual to receive them separately but I was still in a panic.  Then two weeks before we were scheduled to leave I received an email from the Passport Office in New Hampshire telling me my passport application wasn't approved because the documentation didn't match. I was also told I would receive an email with follow up instructions on how to resolve the problem.  Long story short, the email never came less than 10 days before we were scheduled to leave so I went to another passport office to figure out what to do.  They advised me to get my Congressmen involved which I certainly did.  While I will admit I do not care for the politics of Senator Thom Tillis, I will publicly say he came through for me and made it happen.  The Friday before we were supposed to leave, I received my passport.  (I also believe God's divine intervention had more to do with it).

"Be vigilant in hope.  Be patient in trouble but keep on praying." (Romans 12:12) 

6)  Know important dates:  On the passport application, you will be asked about your parents birthdates and where they were born.  You will also be asked about your divorce date (if applicable).  My husband and I both had some challenges in getting this information.  

7)  Don't try to hide information from the State Department:  What I mean by that is don't omit any other names you may have used over the years.  Even though I hyphenate my name, I am tied to a social security number so the government can easily find out information if I omit it.  Omitting information could put you a a no fly zone list.

8)  Stay in touch with your travel agent or the airline for updated information:  Because of COVID and the Delta Variant, the rules for traveling may change.  Just like with "fake news" there is a lot of conflicting information out there.  For example, we initially thought we would have to be tested just to get on the American Airlines flight but that was not the case.  I did learn, however, that Delta was requiring their passengers to be tested before they travel to Italy.

In my next post, I'll share information on what happens once you get to the airport and arrive in a new country.   

Employee Mental Health and The Pandemic

In case you didn't know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month.  This year, probably more so than in years past, mental health is even more important because of the pandemic.  No doubt about it, the pandemic has taken its toll on all us in one way or another.  

• As a matter of fact, a recent survey, conducted by The Conference Board, indicates 60 percent of U.S. workers are concerned about their mental and psychological wellbeing in the wake of the pandemic's aftermath. 

• More than one-third of respondents also expressed concerns about their physical wellbeing, including fear of getting sick. 

• Another one-third worried about social wellness and belonging, such as opportunities to connect with others. 

• Spiritual wellbeing was of least concern, with only 10 percent reporting they were worried about feeling a sense of purpose in what they do.

When it comes to the generations, Millennials appear to be the group who are most concerned with their mental and psychological wellbeing. The survey also indicates they are also more concerned than other generations about professional and financial wellbeing. 

• GenXers were more concerned about social wellness and belonging than other respondents. 
• Baby Boomers are more concerned about physical wellbeing than their generational counterparts.
• Women were more concerned about spiritual wellbeing and slightly more concerned about physical, professional, and financial wellbeing than men. 
• Men were slightly more concerned about social wellbeing than women.

What was surprising to me about the survey is that an overwhelming number of employees said they felt their supervisors genuinely cared for their wellbeing.

Let's see how much that changes in the next year.  How has the pandemic affected you personally?