Christmas Surprises

My daughter is full of surprises!

Christmas 2006: Her gift to me was a grandchild. Mind you, it wasn't something I asked for or wanted from my 16-year-old but she gave it to me anyway.

Christmas 2007: Her gift to me was an ATTITUDE. She was still upset over the fact that I was upset overher decision to keep her baby. I tried desperately to push adoption as the best alternative. She couldn't see that I was thinking of the best interest of the child of an unwed teen.

So here we are Christmas 2008. After spending a year of repairing our feelings of hurt and anger, my daughter decided to give me a series of gifts by making her MESS -- her MESSAGE.

1) She graduated from high school ON TIME. She pulled it off even after discovering five months before graduation that she was one Math credit short and had to re-arrange her whole schedule in order to make up the Math class. She did all of this while holding down a part-time job.

2) She was determined to go to college and did what was necessary to make it happen.

3) She potty trained her son. I told her if she expected me to keep him while she was away, I wasn't going to be changing dirty diapers. Jarod was potty trained at 18-months.

The best gift of all---

She made the Dean's List during her first semester at North Carolina A&T University.

There is a blessing in every storm.

A Charlie Brown Christmas Tradition Lives On

Earlier this week, A Charlie Brown Christmas came on television. Ever since my daughter was a little girl, we used to sit and watch it together---the same as I did with my parents when I was little. This year, however, my daughter was away at college so I completely forgot about that particular mother-daughter holiday tradition. (My two-year-old grandson was spending the night with his other grandparents so he wasn't available).

But while on Twitter, one of my followers, Carla Nix, announced that she was watching it with her daughter, which sparked some memories.

So in keeping with the tradition, I called my 18-year-old college freshman and we sat on the phone and watched it together. She knew the part I would cry on and we laughed together as we reminicsed about the Charlie Brown Christmases of the past. She reminded me of the crazy dances I would do during the Charlie Brown gang rehearsal scene and the times I used to call her from work when the show was on.

As a baby boomer parent, I am discovering there are some traditions that should live on no matter how old we get. Those traditions live on even unto death.

What traditions do you still celebrate with loved ones?

Teaching Your Child to Walk Your Talk

On Friday, I went to visit my daughter in college. Actually, it wasn't a formal visit. Her step-dad and I went there to bring her computer home in advance of her returning home next week for Christmas break.

One of the things I immediately noticed was her snack ration was seriously depleted. Since the beginning of the school year (August), we have spent a few hundred dollars in keeping her supplied with lots of goodies for her late night munchies and those days when the cafeteria food "sucks" as she says.

When I inquired about where her supply was, she told me she had been sharing her food with others in her dorm. Of course, my first reaction was, "Why are you sharing YOUR stuff? These kids have parents! Don't they send them anything? What makes you think it's your responsibility to feed everyone else? Besides, they have a meal plan--just like you!"

My daughter, very calmly said, "Mom, I don't see what you're getting so bent out of shape about. Haven't you been teaching me all of my life to share? I thought I was doing a good thing. I feel blessed to be in a position to share with others who are a little less fortunate."

OK...this was MY DAUGHTER talking. This is the same "only child" who cried when we gave her leftover food to a homeless man while we were on vacation---food, we knew she would never eat. This is the same person who had a job (in high school) but preferred you spend your money on her.

But then I got to thinking: I spent 18 years doing my best to "train up a child in the way that she should go..." (Proverbs 22:6) and many times I thought I was just talking to myself. But lo and behold, she was listening.

Is your child walking your talk? The better question might be: Are you saying anything worth listening to?

Your and Your Child's Teacher on Facebook

Teachers on Facebook has generated quite a bit of discussion over the past few weeks here in North Carolina. At least one teacher has been fired and several others suspended for posting comments and pictures unbecoming of an Educator.

I asked this question before. What difference does it make what a teacher does in his or her spare time as long as it isn't directly affecting his/her job? Now when a teacher posted a comment on her Facebook page that she hated her students--that was, in my opinion, just cause for her dismissal.

But what about those teachers out there who are looking for a love connection. If you're a single parent and the teacher just happens to teach your child--do you see any harm in "hooking up"?

I posed this question to my husband and his answer surprised me. He said he saw nothing wrong with it. He said "parents and teachers need love too."

What do you say?

Your Teacher Hates Your Child

As a baby boomer parent, I am disturbed to read more and more stories about teachers and students connecting on social networking sites for purposes other than school work. But what is equally as troubling is the fact that some teachers are using their web pages to say derogatory things about the kids they teach. Recently, a high-school special-education teacher was suspended for using a Facebook “mood box” to post “I'm feeling p----- because I hate my students!”

In another NC case, the Superintendent has recommended firing a Thomasboro Elementary teacher whose page said she was “teaching in the most ghetto school in Charlotte” and described her students as “chitlins.” Her lawyer said his client intended no offense to her students and was simply telling the truth about resegregated schools in CMS.

Some teachers say what they do on their own time is their business and as long as it doesn’t affect the way they teach, it shouldn’t matter. Is this a generational thing?

What do you say?

Your Children, Their Teachers and Social Networking

Should your children be allowed to interact with their teachers through social networking web sites such as Facebook and MySpace?

A new policy is being considered by the Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Board of Education in North Carolina on Tuesday, Dec. 2. This policy strongly recommends that school-system employees not communicate with students through such sites.

The policy also strongly recommends that employees not list students as "friends" on their personal pages unless the student is a relative and warns that any communication between employees and students should be appropriate.

Some teachers say they see social networking as helpful for creating connections with struggling students who might be afraid to speak up in class or in person.

So what do you think? Is there harm in students connecting with their teachers online? Should there be guildelines?

When a Mother's Love Goes Too Far

What mom hasn't gone above and beyond for her child at some point? If the truth be told, some of us could be accused of doing too much for our children. But just like with everything else, you must draw the line when it comes to protecting or standing up for them.

What kind of love drove 49-year-old Lori Drew to pose as a 16-year-old boy on MySpace to harass a 13-year-old girl who had a falling out with her daughter? What message was this woman sending by conspiring with two others in creating and maintaining a MySpace profile for a non-existent 16-year-old boy named "Josh Evans" in the summer of 2006. This baby boomer "ought to know better" mother used the account to flirt with and befriend 13-year-old Megan Meier, who later committed suicide after being told by Drew/Josh told Meier the world would be a better place without her.

Sadly, there is no law on the books that can charge her with anything more than computer hacking for allegedly violating MySpace's terms of service with the intent of inflicting emotional distress.

So what do you think? Is Drew a sicko mom who is guilty of causing this young girl's death or is she just a mother whose over-protective nature got out of control? And how would you go about protecting your child from the likes of a Lori Drew or any other cyberspace bully?

Meanwhile, Drews guilt or innocence will be determined by a jury in a trial that began today.