Millennial Parents are Worried about Keeping a Clean House Among Other Things

Money, health, family, safety, time, and the future are some of the things Millennial parents say they are worried about as they take their rightful places in adulthood and parenting.  In a new study by Microban, Millennials, some who now have children of their own, were asked to share the top concerns they have.

The number one worry for millennial parents is money.  Ninety-two percent agreed that being financially secure was an issue for them and their families.  That not only means having more money but also a better paying job and a home equity line of credit.

Another issue for Millennial parents is not having enough time to to the things they want to.  An overwhelming number say they would prefer to spend more time with their family (especially their mates) and friends but often times their schedules are busy and demanding.  When they do have a little bit of down time, the parents find their homes taking a back seat.  Seventy-four percent agree they are worried about keeping a clean house.

So what are baby boomer parents worried about?

1)  Having enough savings to retire

2)  When and if they can afford to stop working

3)  Their children having enough to live on

4)  Living a long, HEALTHY life

5)  Dementia





About the Survey

Microban, in conjunction with Turner Research Network, surveyed 1039 Millennials age 20 to 35 with at least one child age 13 or under living at their home online.

Graduates of Bethune-Cookman Deserved More than Betsy DeVos

I, just like many blacks, was stunned to learn Department of Education Secretary Betsy DeVos was invited to give the commencement speech for the Spring 2017 graduating class at Bethune-Cookman. I wondered what President Edison Jackson was thinking when he extended the invitation.  I know he said, "If our students are robbed of the opportunity to experience and interact with views that may be different from their own, then they will be tremendously less equipped for the demands of democratic citizenship."  I don't know what that actually means in his head but, perhaps, he believes inviting her gives him an open door to the President (as the new "Uncle Tom" for his Millennial graduates)  and an opportunity to be a voice for ALL HBCUs.  Whatever his reasoning was I say it was DUMB!

Did Dr. Jackson forget when Mrs. DeVos referred to HBCU's as "real pioneers when it comes to school choice."  She said "They are living proof that when more options are provided to students, they are afforded greater access and greater equality."  Dr. Jackson is 74 years old.  Surely, he knows why HBCU's were created in the first place---because black students had NO OTHER CHOICE. He's too old NOT to remember.  And then when she announced she would be speaking at the University, she referred to it as an HCBU on her website--which was later corrected.

I, for one, applaud these young Millennials who protested her remarks at their graduation on Wednesday.  The key words here are "their graduation."  This was "their" day.  This was a day for "their" families and friends.  This was "their" time to celebrate the hard work (and probably some tears along the way). This was not about President Edison Jackson.

No doubt, the conservative viewpoint will applaud Jackson and call the students "liberals" and "thugs" and tell their viewers, "See I told you that's how they would behave!

I realize the students probably had no say in who would be their commencement speaker--just like I had no say when "Miss Lillian" Carter was our speaker.  She was a stand-in for her son, President Jimmy Carter, who had to cancel at the last minute.  The difference is I went to a predominately white University so if Jimmie Carter had been there, he would've been welcomed by black and white students (or at least the majority of them).  But to ask a woman like Betsy DeVos to come and speak to these young Millennials who are preparing to navigate their way through this racist, volatile country with a President who doesn't appear to give a damn about them is a slap in the face.

And then to have DeVos utter these words to them:  "We will not solve significant and real problems our country faces if we cannot bring ourselves to a mindset of Grace.  We must first listen, then speak with humility and genuinely hear the perspectives of those with whom we don't immediately or distinctively agree."  These words would've only made REAL SENSE if her boss had been in the audience and sitting front and center.  The problem with her words is that these young black millennials are being told to remain humble and to stay in their place---rather than go out into the world and be bold and daring, to take chances and know that the sky is not the limit.  Of course, she couldn't say those words because she knew in her heart of hearts they weren't true.  She also knows the employment rate for these black millennials will be higher than their counterparts.

Shame on Dr. Jackson for making such a poor choice and I do not believe Mary McLeod Bethune would approve!

All Millennials Are NOT Alike

The decision to write my latest book, The Baby Boomer/Millennial Divide:  Making it Work at Work, came after returning to the job market as a woman over 50.  I went into culture shock momentarily after finding myself working side-by-side with people young enough to be my daughter.  As someone who comes from the "old school" ways of doing things and a low tolerance for nonsense and foolishness, I had to learn to adapt to the new reality:  Millennials have arrived and if I wanted to stay in the job market I had work with them.

Much to my surprise, my younger co-workers have been a breath of fresh air.  They have made me laugh and taught me skills to help me improve my own job performance.  As I continue to study them, I have come to a very clear conclusion:

ALL MILLENNIALS ARE NOT ALIKE.

All of the research and data indicates this Gen Y group is made up of job hoppers who don't like the business as usual mentality, they're very creative, independent thinkers, tech savvy and obsessed with social media. Younger Millennials would probably agree, however, older Millennials are quite different and the difference in their ages has everything to do with it.  Take Facebook, for example, which was created in 2004 as a way to connect college students.  It has certainly been embraced by practically all of them but Snapchat, on the other hand, wasn't created until 2011 and some older Millennials don't view the app as having any real significant value for them.

According to the US Census Bureau, the Millennial generation is made up of young people who were born between 1982 and 2000.  The more I think about this---the more I realize it's got to be impossible for this entire Gen Y group to identify with each other.  Think about it.  The youngest Millennial is 17. The oldest is 34. There is no way these two age groups have lived or shared the same experiences.  For example, the youngest Millennials were babies when 9/11 hit in 2001, while the older of the group were college age.  Older Millennials lived through the recession, while the younger group is dealing with the result of it.  Everyone was worried about the Y2K bug in 2000, while the majority of younger Millennials probably have no clue of what the worry was all about. And if you take it one step further, you'll find the differences may be even greater when you separate Millennials by ethnicity.

My daughter is a Millennial, born in the late 80's.  During her high school years, Facebook was a fad but when she went to college and became serious about wanting to have a career she, very wisely, (and through my coaxing) shut down her account once she understood the ramifications of her posts or those of her friends.  She is also more settled with her own place, her own bills and a son to raise. Unlike some white Millennials in her age group, her responsibilities keep her from living a "care-free" "live in the moment" lifestyle and jet-setting off with friends whenever she pleases.  

As a baby boomer, I also take issue with the "lumping" together of the so-called greatest generation. I share little, if anything with folks born in the early 1950s or late 1940s but we have been identified as baby boomers born between 1946 - 1964.

The problem is, so-called experts, put labels on people and groups based on race, age, sex, etc.  Then they create data based on research which, may or may not be totally accurate. (And some of them get paid very well to do it).

The bottom line is no entire generation is alike so don't buy into the hype.

Going In Style Movie Review

Going in Style is a movie about what lengths three former employees, who became life-long friends while working for the same steel manufacturing plant, would go to change the course of their lives.  After learning his home was in foreclosure, the Company was planning to move overseas and their pensions were being taken away, Joe (played by Michael Caine) had an idea to rob a bank--the same bank he had been in during a previous successful robbery.  He figured he and his buddies, Willie (Morgan Freeman) and Albert (Alan Arkin)  could steal enough to keep them financially secure until their deaths---which between the three of the was estimated to be less than 15 years.

With the help of his dead-beat son-in-law, who ran a Marjuana Shop, and a surprise criminal, the trio set out to prepare for the big heist.  I won't give anymore details about the movie but I will tell you it held my interest throughout.  I'll also tell you that if Morgan Freeman had not been in the movie, I probably wouldn't have gone to see it.  I personally think another older white actor could not bring the same flavor as Freeman did.  (The same goes for when he co-starred in Last Vegas with Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro and Kevin Kline).    

Many baby boomers and post boomers, especially from the Midwest, can relate to this movie because it relates to real life circumstances.  Manufacturing plants were a thriving livelihood 30-40 years ago but then Companies and jobs started moving overseas.  According to a report by CNN, almost one in three tons of steel sold in the U.S. was produced outside the country in 2015.  To make matters worse, the world has been flooded with inexpensive Chinese steel, with U.S. imports rising as high as 68 percent.  And pensions, which used to be funded by the employer at 100 percent, have been replaced by 401Ks, which employees have to contribute to.  So the people in this movie would more than likely by the type of people Donald Trump would've appealed to.  

If there was one negative about the movie, I would have to say it was the choice of some of the music.  There was a blend of Sinatra style, old school R&B and hip-hop.  I didn't particularly care for the hip-hop, although it seemed to flow well with the particular scene at the time.

Another delightful surprise was seeing Ann Margaret in the film---and she looked absolutely fabulous!

Overall, I give this movie at B.  I wouldn't go see if again or buy it for my DVD collection, but I'm glad I saw it at the theater.

Another Senseless Killing Tied to Facebook

Thank God baby boomers didn't have access to social media as teens and young adults.  Can you imagine what you would see?  Hippies and flower children everywhere smoking weed and telling you about the beauty of the world.  Black folks with big afros dancing in the streets shouting, "Say it Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud.  You might have even seen the "live" version of John Lennon and Yoko Ono spending their two-week long "bed-in" as a protest against the Vietnam War--and yes, you surely would've seen protests and marches.

But I can't imagine in a million years that you would ever see the tragedies that are being shown today via Facebook.  Just last week I wrote a blog post about the outrageous murder-suicide committed in San Bernardino involving Carl Anderson and his estranged wife, Karen.  He walked into her classroom and shot her to death before killing himself. He didn't post his actions on Facebook but he gave everyone the appearance, via his Facebook videos, that he was the happiest and luckiest man in the world and his wife was everything to him.  A FLAT OUT LIE! But he has his Facebook followers fooled.

Now we have another senseless murder tied to a woman named Joy Lane in Cleveland, Ohio.  Her estranged boyfriend, identified as Steve Stephens, gunned down a complete stranger, identified as 74-year-old Robert Godwin, on the street because he was upset over her lack of attention/affection for him anymore.  This happened on Easter Sunday, shortly after Godwin left his family's home after having dinner.  Stephens, like Anderson, used Facebook as a platform----although he made it a point to upload the crime after he did it.  The murder stayed on the site until being removed by a Facebook official.

What makes this story, and the one last week, so tragic is that these so-called men used social media as a platform in such a devious and disturbing way.  I don't know what has happened to make so many people lose sight of their values, morals, dignity and character.  For all the good social media can do, we then get to see the evil it can project and I fear there is no end in sight. 

Back in 1964, Bob Dylan wrote a song called, The Times, They Are a Changin'.  

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly aging
Please get out of the new one if you can't lend your hand
Cause the times they are a-changing

Yes they have!

The Tragedy and Illusion of Facebook

"Things aren't always the way they appear."  No truer words could be spoken following the tragic death of Karen Smith in San Bernardino, CA this week.  She was murdered on her job---in a classroom where she was teaching young students.

What intrigued me about this story was the fact that she and her husband killer, Cedric Anderson were black baby boomers around the same age as my husband and myself.  I was particularly interested in the posts he made on Facebook.  By all accounts, he posted regularly on Facebook about the so-called love and admiration he had for his wife.  He created an image that was clearly contrary to the murderous behavior he demonstrated when he walked into her classroom and killed her.

In a February 27th post, he posted a selfie video and said:  "I love being married to Karen Smith-Anderson!" 

March 11 post, he said: "My wife Karen Smith-Anderson is an Angel!!!"

March 12: He posted a youtube song by Sade titled By Your Side and said:  "I'm getting loved like this! #karen. Thanks Baby!"

But 30 days later, he would kill her for reasons that have not yet been made known---although a family member commented on his FB page that he suffered from PTSD Disorder. The victim's son hinted to police that there may have been domestic violence involved. 

Were there clear signs of mental illness?  Reading through his FB page, one might draw the conclusion that he had a screw or two loose but he managed to masquerade it pretty well with his sweet, romantic confessions of love for Karen.  

Whatever the case might be, three lives were lost (also killed was an 8-year-old student who was being shielded by his teacher).  That's the tragedy and illusion of Facebook.  

Too many people spend their time presenting an image of who they want you to think they are.  They are always more successful, more diplomatic, more sensitive, more reasonable, more logical, more compassionate, more loving, etc in the social media world than they truly are in reality.  And those of us who buy into their "image" end up frustrated and angry because we begin to lament over the would've, should've, could've of our own lives.

What happened to Karen Smith was a tragedy because she was living in the deranged, illusional world of Cedric Anderson.

The Value of Friendships As We Age

I read an article recently that indicated we tend to lose friendships as we grow older. Ohio University (my alma mater)  Professor William Rawlins says "As people enter middle age, they tend to have more demands on their time, many of them more pressing than friendship. The time is poured, largely, into jobs and families." That makes sense but then I got to thinking about how quickly time is flying by and there are no guarantees for tomorrow so it would be in my best interest to cherish the friendships I have.

Recently I was on my way to the grocery store when I received a call from my friend Maria.  We had been playing phone tag so I made it a point to answer the phone to make the connection.  Although we don't live too far apart, we haven't seen each other in a few years, We mostly keep up with each other via Facebook.  That's where I first learned she was diagnosed with cancer.  "It can't be true!" was my first thought.  When we worked together many years ago, she was one of the most vibrant, lively, gorgeous women I knew.  But as I have learned time and time again, cancer doesn't discriminate.  

For the next hour or so, I was sitting in the grocery store parking lot laughing and reminiscing with the woman I first met 20 years ago while working together at WNCU Radio. Her upbeat spirit lifted me. I was trying to catch up on her life, her family, her diagnosis and how she found out.  When I tell you she has been through, that's an understatement, but her faith and her family have kept her strong through her storms.

In a surprising turn of events during the conversation, I became the one who needed a shoulder.  I was suffering from mental anguish over some personal things in my life.  Did Maria feel sorry for me?  Absolutely not! She used the moment to "school" me, saying she did it out of love, to help me see how petty and ridiculous my attitude was over the issue I shared.  Yes, that's what friends do. They help you peel away your mask, to stop hiding behind your self-righteousness and to let you see what you may be unable to see (or refuse to).

I took Maria's words to heart and when we hung up I decided to make an attitude adjustment.

Some friends, like Maria, come as a gift. We don’t look for them, we don’t have to work at being friends, at least initially - they just arrive. Even so, as time goes by we need to work at every friendship. The best vitamin for making friends if B1.

Friends are a precious part of our lives and we will live to regret it if we lose them through neglect.