Change Happens

This week the largest tree in our front yard toppled over during a rain storm. Although it destroyed my beautiful rose bush and was a total mess to clean up, it didn't cause any property damage and there were no injuries.

What was so surprising about this is the fact that no other trees in our neighborhood were damaged. Was this a sign? A sign of what?

After spending two days cutting and clearing the debris, our house now has a new look. That picturesque view seems so naked without that tree and my lovely red rose bush.

Losing that tree is a reminder that CHANGE HAPPENS.

That tree has changed the landscape of our home. It wasn't a decision we made. It was a decision made for us by Mother Nature.

The point is this: Throughout our lives, change will happen. One day we are single--then we are married. One day we are young--then we grow old. One day we have a job--the next day we may not. One day you're on top of the world--the next day the world's on top of you. One day your tree will be standing--the next day it will fall....and so on and so forth.

It's best to be prepared for the unexpected---but even if you aren't prepared, be ready to deal with the aftermath.

Living in Fear

I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 1999 at the age of 42. My father died of heart disease in 1983 at the age of 52.

In January of 2009, I started living in fear---fear that I would not live to see the age of 53---just like my dad.

Before being diagnosed with congestive heart failure, I assumed my symptoms were the result of menopause. I started experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms in my early 40s and went into full-blown menopause at 50. I’m writing this to tell you, DO NOT MAKE THAT ASSUMPTION. If you experience any of the following symptoms, you may be experiencing heart failure in addition to menopause:

•Shortness of breath during physical activity or even while lying in bed
•bloating
•a sudden weight gain ( I chalked this up to a slow down in metabolism)
•swollen feet, ankles or legs
•fatigue or weakness
•confusion or decreased alertness (I was calling this “meno-moments.”
•nausea or loss of apetite
•rapid or irregular heartbeat
•the need to urinate more often during the night
•waking up due to shortness of breath
•frequent cough or wheezing
•swollen neck veins (I thought this was solely related to my thyroid disorder)

When your heart isn’t pumping properly, blood from the lungs or from the rest of the body backs up—similar to the way traffic backs up at rush hour. So get out of your traffic jam, visit your doctor and get your heart checked. You owe it to yourself to get to the heart of the matter.

I'm happy to report that I made it past 52 this year but I'm not taking anything for granted.

Being a Sperm Donor Doesn't Make You a Daddy

My husband isn't the father of my child but he deserves to be honored on Father's Day. He has been more like a dad than my daughter's biological father ever was.

We are a part of an ever growing number of blended families in this country. According to statistics, over fifty percent of US familieis are re-married or re-coupled and 1300 new stepfamilies are forming every day.

Here are some other interesting statistics from the National Fatherhood Initiative:

•Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.

•Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.

•24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.

•Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.

•43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.

•Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.

•About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father's home.

•Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.

Kids Say the Darndest Things about God

As a part of the nurturing process I talk to my three-year-old grandson about Jesus and God. While I'm not trying to make him "religious", I do want him to grow up and understand how important God is in all of our lives.

Afrer church this morning, we went to brunch. Before we ate, we blessed the food (as we always do). After tasting his eggs, Jarod said, "This food is good. Thank you God."

When we got home, I decided to lay down because I didn't feel too well. Jarod came into my room and said, "Grandma, you don't feel well?" I said, "No. I'm just going to lie down and get some rest for a little while."

As he was walking out of my room he said, "I'm gonna ask Jesus if you can come sleep with Him."

"No, no," I replied. "I think I'd like to just sleep in my own bed for now."

I couldn't help but smile through the tears.

Marriage The Second Time Around

Is marriage really better the second time around? As one who falls into that category, I say absolutely! I'm very excited and feel blessed to have been given another opportunity to love again.

Isn't it interesting how differently we think when we're young as opposed to when we grow older and wiser? When I look back over my younger days, I realize I spent way too much time craving the WRONG man for all of the RIGHT reasons. I wanted to feel love, to be loved, and to give love in return but the sex clouded my judgement in making sure I was choosing the right mate.

One of the beautiful things about growing older is it gives us the benefit of wisdom. That, in turn, allows us to make smarter choices. As for me, I'm smart enough not to believe in love at first sight anymore. One reason being, I don't see quite as well as I used to. I'm also smart enough to be more discriminating in my taste. I've learned how to weed out the imitation from the real thing.

So now I'm happy to say God has blessed me with a new love. He's a man who's strong enough to deal with my strengths, yet gentle enough to understand and cope with my emotional stress and strife. I'm totally enjoying my second marriage and yes, it makes lusting after him even better!

Excerpts taken from Chapter Two of my book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age

Running Out of Options

In 1996, I started boycotting Mobil Oil for disparaging racial comments made during an Executive Board Meeting.

In 1999, I stopped buying gas at Exxon because of the Valdez oil spill and the slap on the wrist given to the captain on the ship.

Now, it looks like I'm going to have to add BP to that list. What happened in April is nothing short of a catastrophe. From the beginning of this mess, I knew it was bigger than it was being reported. The media was spoon fed information and went with it until BP officials could no longer deny the mess they created.

The BP Spill not only affects the livelihood of fishermen on the Gulf Coast, it also affects seafood lovers like me who live thousands of miles away.

The BP spill is one also more example as to why we MUST find alternative means to oil.

Paying Your Tithes Online

When I went to church on Sunday, the Pastor made an announcement that kind of surprised me. He told the congregation we could now pay our tithes online.

I assume this is a trend more and more churches are following, which makes it easier to collect the one-tenth we are supposed to give from the financial blessings God has given us.

Why should paying our tithes online be any different than paying our bills online? Paying our bills online not only saves us a stamp but it also saves us gas money since we don't have to drive to the location to pay in person.

Is that what's going to happen with the church? Are some of us going to start paying our tithes online so we don't have to drive to the House of God to pay in person?

Paying online seems like an "opt out" clause to me. You can still honor your tithing commitment, without having to be in church. Will this trend form a new generation of the Bedside Baptists.

What do you think?