Too Much Cardio Can Make You FAT!

OK…so now I know what my problem is. I’ve been exercising TOO MUCH! I went to the gym this morning and saw a big sign hanging on the wall that read, “Did you know too much cardio can make you fat?”

Well, golly gee---I didn’t know that at all. And here I thought I was doing my middle-aged body some good by burning off all of those excess calories. My gynecologist told me my metabolism started slowing down at 30. I figure at 50 it barely moves so a good shot of daily cardio would be just what the doctor ordered. But not so, according to gym employees who are apparently inspired by the increasing numbers of out of shape, downright fat baby boomers who keep walking through their doors.

The sign went on to inform me how I could learn more about getting rid of excess fat by signing up for a personal trainer. Oh! So that was the catch. It’s not enough that they have all of these machines in the gym to workout on. They want me to spend even MORE MONEY to hire a personal trainer to keep me from exercising so much.

But you know what? I don’t need a personal trainer for that. This baby boomer diva can come up with plenty of excuses on any given day to keep her from working out. You see, I've got something called MENOPAUSE on my side!