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The Ten Commandments of Marriage from a Man's Point of View

**Special thanks to my MARRIED friend, Fred Marvin, for sharing this with me**


Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

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Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

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Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

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Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

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Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

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Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

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Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

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Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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Bonus Commandment ( Story )

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It worked!"

Comments

Karlyn said…
hehe, this is cute.. I enjoyed the chuckle. I'm also happy to say that hubby and I are coming up on 22 years of marriage and commandment #5 is still going strong.. same old car too. Seriously! Ah, Bet I made you scroll back to remember what #5 was! :)
Betty Lynch said…
Thanks for the chuckle!! Thank goodness for a marriage made in heaven, hubby and I celebrated 20 wonderful years this past November. Here is to marrying your best friend!
Sherry said…
Very funny! I'm sharing this one!
Eileen Williams said…
Well, my friend, you certainly gave me my morning chuckle and this one will last all day!
Coming up on our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary, I can vouch for the validity of most all of these. Even if your list does come from the male perspective... they got this one right!

LOVED IT!
Kathie said…
It's a shame that such negative things can be the source of such mirth, but it's true. Do men and women really have to struggle so much?

Thank God we all don't although my husband does like to tease. I am proud to say we have our 18th anniversary coming up this year and he still opens car doors for me amongst other things. And the chemistry between us is definitely not toxic. Thanks for the giggles.

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