Advice for Anyone Moving to North Carolina

Although I said I would NEVER live in the South I ended up moving to North Carolina back in the 80's to be with my husband, who returned home to be closer to his father after his mother passed away.  Little did I know then that I would still be here nearly 30 years later, long after my divorce.  

I remember the first time I went to Wilber's BBQ restaurant in Goldsboro.  It was in December and colder than normal for the State.  When the waitress asked what I wanted to drink I told her I'd like some tea with lemon.  Imagine my surprise when she brought me this big glass of ice cold sweet tea.  Needless to say, I wasn't too happy about it as someone who clearly understood that hot tea is what you drink in the Winter.  But in NC, ice cold, sweet tea is what you drink ALL YEAR!

I've learned to adjust to the North Carolina way but, let me tell you, it definitely wasn't easy so if you're thinking about moving here let me give you some things you need to know:

1. Bacon is big here and you'll always find new and creative ways to use it. Take the Man Sandwich, a NC State Fair favorite---which is a grilled cheese sandwich wrapped in bacon.  Or how about the fried bacon pimento cheeseburger egg roll.
  
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean North Carolinians can. The State has something called "black ice" and they use sand instead of rock salt.  One inch of snow is a National Emergency with schools closing and all bread and water gone from the grocery stores.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.

5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

6. Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.

8. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."

9. Hot dog chili does NOT have beans in it.

10.Don't tell North Carolinians how you did it up there. Nobody cares.

11. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.

12. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford pick-up is.

13. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot" you can be certain they are.

14. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.

15. ACC College basketball is KING.  When the ACC Tournament starts, everything else stops.

16. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.

17. Krispy creme donuts and Pepsi were born in the Carolinas, which may explain the obesity rate.  BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.

18. "Tea" = Sweet Iced Tea. There is no other kind.

19. North Carolinians pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.  They also pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.

20. Most residents own at least one gun.

21. "Bless your Heart" is a nice way of saying they feel sorry for you.