The Ten Commandments of Marriage from a Man's Point of View

**Special thanks to my MARRIED friend, Fred Marvin, for sharing this with me**


Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

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Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

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Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

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Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

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Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

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Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

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Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

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Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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Bonus Commandment ( Story )

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It worked!"

Has Easter Lost it's True Meaning?

I couldn't wait to take my two-year-old grandson to church this morning for Easter because he looked so handsome in the outfit I bought for him. I was like that with my daughter and I remember my parents were the same with me.

But is that what Easter is all about---dressing up in your newly purchased colorful spring outfits and parading yourself in front of others in God's house?

As a baby boomer I believe Easter, just like Christmas, has lost its meaning over the years as we focus more on the materialism associated with it instead of the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Did you know the word “Easter” doesn’t have anything to do with the Christian celebration? It is derived from the name of a German deity, Estre or Ostra. She was the goddess of the rising sun and spring, and was celebrated in springtime festivals.

Did you also know that rabbits are an ancient pagan symbol? They represent fertility and are associated with the re-awakening of the land in springtime. Bunnies were first associated with Easter celebrations in the 1500s, and by the early 1800s, German bakers were selling Easter bunnies made from chocolate and pastry.

Eggs, which are laid by birds and from which new birds emerge, were symbols of new life and rebirth long before the Christian era began. In the early days of the church, the consumption of eggs during Lent was prohibited, so decorating them and giving them as gifts on Easter became a way of celebrating the resurrection.

The tradition of the Easter Bunny bringing gifts to children Easter morning is also from Germany, where he was known as Oschter Haws. Initially, the bunny left his treats in a nest made for him by children. Later, the tradition merged with the notion of the Easter basket.

So what do you think? Are we, as a society, obsessed with traditions that have no value?

Baby Boomer Parenting 101

Now that my baby has a baby, I am even more concerned about how I've raised her. You see, as a baby boomer mom and grandma, I now understand how much parenting, good or bad, can affect a child's life and that behavior gets passed down from generation to generation.

I bring this up because of a conversation my daughter and I had while traveling together last week. "Get into the Groove" by Madonna came on the radio. Immediately she said, "I remember you used to exercise to that song."

She was right. I used to pop in the Madonna Live tape, move the living room furniture and get my fitness groove on. I have to admit I was shocked she remembered because she couldn't have been more than 3 years old at the time. Madonna's song opened the door for other mother-daughter memories. This was her opportunity to tell me what she didn't like about me.

I learned she absolutely hated all of the times I used to visit and/or volunteer at her school. I was there so much, she said, many of her fellow students thought I worked there. She also hated how I grilled her friends about their grades, goals and yes, their parents.

Here's the point: What we say and do in front of our children and grandchildren will have a lasting impact---whether we want to believe it or not.

It may be too late to right the wrongs with your children but you can still make a positive difference with your grandchildren.

I figure it this way: If my grandson gets the benefit of seeing his mom exercise to a Beyonce video, while keeping a guarded eye on who he's hanging out with and grimacing over her taking an active role in his education, then my actions as her mother haven't been that bad after all.

Being Broke Ain't No Joke

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I'm broke and haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'

What part of “I'm broke” don't you understand?

Grandkids Say The Darndest Things Part II

I always love reading these emails about children who say the darndest things. I expect my two-year-old grandson will be filling up future blog posts with his own interesting comments. In the meantime, enjoy these comments from other people's children and grandchildren:

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mommy?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mommy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE . God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Our Parents Thoughts Fifty Years Ago

It's amazing to me how much has changed in 50 years. Even as a baby boomer, it seems like a lifetime ago due to the changing culture.

Here are some of the things our parents were saying back in the Fifties:

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00."


"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00will only buy a used one."


"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous!"


"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter!"


"If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."


"When I started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon.


"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying, "DAMN" in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it."


"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."


"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President."


"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."


"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."


"I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."


"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."


"There is no sense going away for the weekend anymore, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel."


"No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood."


"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it!"


"I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to Congress."

What are we, as baby boomers, saying now?

Grandkids Say the Darndest Things

Being a baby boomer grandma is kind of fun---but also very interesting. Now that my two-year-old grandson can talk and formulate understandable phrases, it is amazing to hear some of the things that come out of his mouth. What's even more shocking is the timing of what he says. How he knows what to say at a particular moment baffles me. For instance, one day I was getting ready to take a shower and looked at me and asked, "Grandma, you stink, stink?"

Here are some other grandchild-grandparent encounters shared by other grandparents:

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What’s it about?" he asked. "I don’t know," she replied. "I can’t read."

I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I’m not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "Mine says I’m 4 to 6."

What funny thing(s) have your grandchildren said to you?

You can have holiday cards made with all of the sweet things your little ones said. And bring joy to everyone you send them to!