Career Advice I Never Forgot

I recently read a very good article by a guy named Steve Toback on how advice given by others helped shape his career. He outlined 10 pieces of advice he was given over the years.

It got me to thinking about my own life and career path. As I reflect, I have come to realize that a lot of advice I received early on was NEGATIVE but it actually pushed me to strive harder to achieve my goals.

Here are some of the things people have said to me over the years that stuck with me and helped play a role in the person I have become.

"If you think affirmative action is going to get you a job--you better think again and get your act together in the classroom!" Professor Ralph Izard Ohio University.

I do believe affirmative action got me my first job at WCIR Radio in Beckley, W. VA and affirmative action also allowed me to sue them for discrimination (and WIN!)

"You just don't have what it takes to make it in this market" Comment made by the late Bill Knowles, News Director of WCTI-TV.

The following week I was hired by the competition and stayed there 5 years, while being promoted to weekend fill-in anchor. I was given the opportunity to remind Mr. Knowles of his comment about a year before he died.

"If you get down on your luck, you can always come home again but just don't think about staying too long." My mother--Lillian Mahone.

"You're just watching yourself grow up." My mother AGAIN--commenting on my daughter's behavior when I called her to complain.

"You don't have to be asleep to dream." Mrs. Harriet Weaver--one of my high school speech coaches.

"You are so articulate." From various people throughout my young adulthood. Why wouldn't I be??? I was a speech and debate champion in high school and college.

"Your talent is God's gift to you. How well you develop it is your gift to God." I can't remember who shared this with me during my teens but I have never forgotten it and strive daily to give back.

"I tried it once. It didn't do anything for me" My dad's comments after finding a "joint" in my bedroom one weekend while I was home from college. That's all he ever said about it and I just thought he was the coolest dad after that.

"I hated my mother." Comments from ex husband. Should've been a red flag warning but I was thinking with my heart--not my head.

"Women who behave don't make history." Said to me by former news director, Rob Elmore, during an editorial meeting.

So what memorable comments have helped shaped you?

New School Year Brings New Unusual Changes

The summer is officially over for my 19-year-old daughter who will begin her sophomore year at North Carolina A&T University on Monday. It's been quite a three months for her. She held down two summer jobs but still managed to spend some much needed and QUALITY mother-son time with her soon-to-be-three-year-old. It took a load off of me, I must admit.

Today, we sent her packing to college ---as we tagged along. She's staying in the same dorm (co-ed) she stayed in last year--but there is a change. She will have three roommates instead of two. She didn't like her last year roomie, causing them to part company before the school year was over.

Another change is her Resident Assistant---also known as the R.A. This is the person who oversees a section of the dorm to make sure students are abiding by the rules. But here is my question: Is NC A&T abiding by the rules by allowing a young man to police these young women? But here's the catch. This young man is actually a boy-turned-girl so are there any rules for that?

My daughter felt it was necessary to inform me of this fact and added that everyone knew his/her story so it wasn't a big deal.

My, oh my, how college has changed! I guess the good thing is, parents won't have to worry about him chasing after their daughters. He'll probably just look to them for fashion tips.

Who Cares About Elder Abuse Part II

It's situations like this that make me appreciate my training as a journalist. I've learned how to dig to get to the bottom of a story. And that's what I've been doing in this case involving my mother-in-law.

On Thursday I received a call from the North Carolina Boad of Nursing. A woman who identified herself as Jennifer Lewis informed me they were going to begin an investigation into my claims of abuse and negligence at the Brian Center of Yanceyville. Ms. Lewis says their role is to look into what role licensed nurses on staff may have played in the negligence of reporting the physical brusies my MIL sustained. She even gave me a number to call to verify if, in fact, a formal report had been filed---as the Director of Nursing at The Brian Center claimed.

Of course I don't think we're ever going to find out exactly what happened. My mother-in-law has alzheimers and certainly can't tell us. But I am at least going to have the satisfaction of knowing the Brian Center staff won't be able to sweep this under the rug and close their files on this case. As a matter of fact, the case is more open than ever.

And to think all of this could've been avoided had the Brian Center documented, as best they could, what happened in a timely fashion. And why the Director of Nursing was so adamant about providing my husband and I with a copy of the report they allegedly filed with the State is beyond me. But it looks like she's going to have to answer to a higher power.

Now we'll see who has the last word.

Who Cares About Elder Abuse?

As the family member of a loved one in a nursing home facility, I read with much interest the Raleigh News & Observer story about the fine levied against the Sunnybrook Healthcare & Rehabiltation Center in Wake County. The facility was fined $210,000 following an investigation into reports of abuse of a patient there.

Sunnybrook was fined for the following violations:

•Failure to notify family member and patient's doctor in a timely way when staff members found bruises on the older woman's face, shoulder and hip.

•Failure to supervise residents well enough to prevent accidents.

•Violated its own policies by failing to identify and report an injury of unknown source -- patient's bruises.

•And, failure to document and assess patient's bruising.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A FAMILIAR STORY....

My family is going through something similar and trying to get to the bottom of the incident involving my 91-year-old-mother-in-law at the Brian Center Health and Rehabilitation Center in Yanceyville.

To make a long story short, my MIL (who has alzheimers) had bruises on her right arm and left shoulder. The when, why, and how it happened remains unclear. The whodunnit is even more mysterious.

What we do know is we were notified of the bruises on Wednesday, July 22 by a nurse who questioned why nothing was written in her chart. When I went to the nursing home the next day, I observed the brusing first-hand and then talked with one of the nursing supervisors. First a member of the staff said they didn't know how the brusies got there. Then I was told my MIL got into an altercation with another resident and someone broke it up. But when I asked why nothing was documented about the incident, I couldn't get a straight answer. It appears the head nurse on duty on the alleged night in question (Sunday) up and moved to Tennessee the next day and gave her "I quit" notice via email.

So my question was, if the incident happened on Sunday, why didn't anyone question the bruises on Monday or Tuesday when they were helping my MIL get dressed or bathed.

My husband and I attended a meeting with the Director of Nursing on Monday. I asked for a copy of their investigative report but she refused to give it to me---saying it had been sent to the State.

Now it's time to see what the State Division of Health Services & Rehabilitation has to say. Stay tuned.....

How to Get Attention in the ER

Just say you think you're having a heart attack. It worked for me yesterday. I woke up with a pain in my chest. It felt like a knot. I also had some difficulty breathing. I tried to dismiss it and go about my day. After leaving the Farmer's Market, I came home, got on my computer---thinking that Twitter would somehow make me feel better (LOL!)

When I couldn't stand it anymore, I called my doctor's office and was told to go straight to the emergency room and tell them I was having chest pains. Since there is a history of heart disease in my family, I take this matter very seriously.

When I walked into the ER of Durham Regional Hospital, I saw a waiting room FULL of people and thought I would surely die if I had to wait. But no sooner than I gave my name and the nurse took my vitals, I was led to a bed with doctors and nurses rushing in to take care of me. (Maybe the fact that my blood pressure was 151/108 had something to do with it).

It was the best/worst experience I've ever had in an ER. I definitely didn't want to be there but the treatment I received was awesome! The nurses, Sharita and Kristen, were pleasant and comforting. Kristen and I even joked about the "Pretty Girl Names" video on the Boomer Diva TV site. The young ER doctor, who told my husband and me to call him TJ, was the absolute coolest. He makes me hope I live long enough for him to get his own practice. I will definitely do his PR!

This was quite a different experience from my last ER visit with my daughter. After waiting several hours, the attending physician admitted he didn't know what was wrong with her and prescribed an anti-biotic which I guess he thought was a cure-all for whatever was ailing her.

One thing I learned about this ER experience is that there are medical personnel who genuinely care about patients and take a lot of pride in their work and they really do want to get to the heart of the matter.

Thanks Durham Regional!

You Never Know Who's Watching

Imagine my surprise when I opened up my email and discovered I had been nominated to receive a Kreative Blogger Award. I read the name of the person who nominated me but I didn't recognize it so I followed the link to her blog. As soon as I saw her picture, I knew who she was. She is someone I follow on Twitter. I don't see her there often but when she is, she is always engaging and pleasant and one of my best re-tweeters.

Needless to say, I am honored that Joanne Julius Hunold has taken the time to acknowledge me and my writing. She has moved from being a mere follower to a friend and one whose blogs are now on my favorites list.

The fact that Joanne nominated me as a "Kreativ Blogger" just goes to show you this---you never know who's watching you---whether it be on or offline. So it really does pay to put your best "tweets" or "face" (book) forward.

OK, so here's what I'm supposed to do:

Thank the person who has given me the award
Place the logo on my blog
Link to the person who nominated you
Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting
Nominate 7 bloggers for this award and post links to their blogs
Send a message to let them know they've been nominated

Seven Interesting Facts About Me

1. I'm a only child
2. I worked for Merrill Lynch and Liberty Mutual in between media jobs.
3. I went to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba with Camp Lejeune Marines as an assignment.
4. I was a cheerleader in high school.
5. I was a high school Forensics Champion
6. Boomer Diva Nation was created as a result of a conversation I had with R&B Singer, Natalie Cole.
7. I won $10,000 in a bowling tournament.


Seven Blogs I Nominate for the Kreativ Blogger Award

**This is hard because I enjoy many blogs**

I discovered Rhea Becker's blog a few years ago and have become an avid reader. The Boomer Chronicles is not only informative but also very entertaining. What many people may not know is Rhea used to write for People Magazine and I'm proud to say she is a member of Boomer Diva Nation.

Eileen Williams writes The Feisty Side of Fifty. Her posts are always interesting and she ties them into her podcasts which always has some of the most fascinating guests.

Pam Archer tells some of the funniest stories on her Homespun Highlights blog. I always find myself taking a trip down memory lane with her writing and her sense of humor is classic!

Mitch Mitchell has a blog called I'm Just Sharing. Half the time I have no clue what he's talking about but I love the way he writes because he helps me "get it." Mitch and I connected on Twitter and he has also become more than someone I'm following.

Rosie Horner is our blogging betty on Twitter. You might find an interesting blog post or a video. Rosie's one creative lady! She has several blogs but my favorite is Rosie's Boomer Review.

David Lindberg has a great blog called Davey's Locker. In addition to being a blogger, he's also a great songwriter/composer. He has samples of his music on his blog and I just learned one of his songs won May's Song of the Year.

Last but not least is Heidi Richards. I was so impressed with Heidi when I first connected with her online that I became a stalker. She is a one-woman conglomerate and one that I am honored to know. She has several sites but the one I frequent most is: WeMagazineforWomen.

It's All in the Genes

As much as my daughter hates to admit it, she is turning into me more and more each day----and it's happening a whole lot faster than the transformation I went through with my own mother.

Those of you who are regular readers to this blog or know me personally, know that my daughter is not only in college but she is also trying to raise her soon-to-be-three-year-old son. It's a juggling act and although I never wanted to be a part of this circus, I have been recruited and am doing my best to fulfill my role as primary caregiver while she's away at school.

But that's not what this blog is all about.

Over the past week, my daughter has been trying to set up her son's 3rd birthday party at one of our local parks for September 6. Although she will be back in school, she wanted to get everything pre-arranged by paying the required fee to host the party.

After several phone calls and left voicemails, she finally got through to someone in the Parks & Recreation dept., and was told the park she wanted was already rented. She was frustrated because she felt if someone had returned her initial phone call or any of the several calls she made afterwards, she might've been able to book the park she wanted. To make a long story short, she did exactly what I would've done in the same situation. She complained about the poor customer service--the lack of response. She even went so far as to schedule an appearance before the City Council to voice her grievance.

But lo and behold, the Assistant Director of Parks & Recreation came to the rescue and, surprisingly, my daughter discovered the park she wanted was available because the person who wanted it had not paid the required deposit.

Needless to say, my daughter was quite proud of her accomplisments as a young woman and mother who will, undoubtedly, be taking on many more battles throughtout her adult life.

I was proud too because despite some of the failures I've made as a parent, I see that my daughter has that same feisty spirit. She can handle herself under the pressure. It's all in the genes---and I guess we both have my mother to thank for that.