The Challenge of Raising a Black Male

My daughter returned to college this week after a three week holiday break. Having her home gave me a much needed vacation from her three-year-old son.

But now I am wearing the mommy/grandma hat again and dealing with a growing, inquisituve and challenging little boy. At three, he is now starting to test his limits and testing my nerves.

This means he is beginning to defy authority and assert his growing independence. Everything I've read indicates I should recognize that this is a developmental stage. Frequent eruptions and disobedience can be a sign of a strong-willed child, the experts say, and being strong-willed is not such a bad thing in today’s world.

Does this also apply if the child is a black male?

Some of my well-meaning friends don't take too kindly when I bring up race as a factor in how my grandson will be treated in the future. But when CNN does a story indictating that most employers say they would rather hire a white male who's a convicted felon over an African-American male with no criminal background, I have to wonder how my grandson's strong-willed manner will play out in society in the future.

Whether you want to admit or accept it, the playing field is not level for black males in this society, so it's up to me to make sure that strong will my grandson exhibits now, will be something positive and powerful in his future.

Ugly Sweaters at Christmas

It's that time of year again when we decorate our homes with a beautiful Christmas tree and festive lights. Then you have some of us who choose to decorate ourselves with some of the ugliest sweaters ever seen and then parade around town as if we were in a fashion show.

Today while shopping at Costco's I saw some of the most hidious looking sweaters I'd ever seen--and they were all worn by baby boomer women! I obviously didn't get the memo on this one and if I did, I'm glad I didn't read it.

One woman actually had on a sweater with blinking light bulbs. To top things off, another woman wore her reindeer sweater with a matching antler hat. Now I think if these sweaters had been worn by children, I might've been more inclined to say how cute they looked but when you're in your 50s and 60s, maybe it's time to give up that tradition---unless you're wearing it in the privacy of your home or just for family and friends.

I tried to find three similar sweaters to give you an illustration of what I saw today. Which one do you think is the UGLIEST--or have you actually seen worst?

I Was a Victim of Pornography Spam

Imagine my surprise when I went to my mailbox the other day and got more than my eyes had bargained for! Here's a short video clip of that tells my story:

Has Tiger Woods Messed Things Up for ALL Men

Yesterday I found myself threatening to check my husband's cell phone for any suspicious numbers all because of Tiger Woods. Now, don't get me wrong. I have absolutely NO reason to mistrust my husband but I did become somewhat concerned after calling him several times, leaving messages and getting no response for a few hours. Certainly, many women can attest to the fact that a few hours can seem like an eternity if suspicion and doubt start creeping into your mind.

When he finally called me back, he told me he had left his phone in the car and didn't feel like going back to get it once he got into the office. I told him I would be checking his phone when he got home to see if there were some strange numbers in it (like Tiger's wife did). He said, "Tiger has messed things up for ALL men!" We got a chuckle out of that--but to be honest, when a scandal like that breaks--all of a sudden many husbands become a suspect. And maybe, righfully so--according to Donny Deutsch (from the Big Idea of MSNBC). The other night on Larry King, Deutsch said the scandal will only make Woods seem more human and thus even more desirable as an endorser. He also said Tiger hasn't done anything that at least 50 percent of men have done.

Really?

Maybe there is some truth to that. Remember Presidential Candidate John Edwards, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, President John F. Kennedy and yes, even my first husband is in that group. But unlike the others, my ex didn't have enough money to make me want to stay.

The History of Black Friday

For the past couple of weeks, the media and retailers have been promoting "Black Friday." This is the day after Thanksgiving when stores supposedly slash their prices to give customers great deals leading into Christmas.

What I find interesting is that the word "black" is used. Now I understand black is used to indicate financial profits while red reflects financial losses but how many people know that "Black Friday" started out as a negative?

Originally, September 24, 1869 was deemed Black Friday; a day of stock market catastrophe. In the 1960's, the Philadelphia Police Dept. used the term "Black Friday" to refer to the massive traffic jams and over-crowded sidewalks as the downtown stores were mobbed from opening to closing. Police officers were not happy about the fact that they would have to "protect and serve" these shopaholics.

Many merchants objected to the use of a negative term to refer to one of the most important shopping days in the year so they came up with an alternative theory---which the media bought into. The perception would be that retailers traditionally operated at a financial loss for most of the year (January through November) and made their profit during the holiday season, beginning on the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday, under this theory, is the beginning of the period where retailers would no longer have losses (the red) and instead take in the year's profits (the black).

Isn't it amazing how we can be brainwashed into believing a theory? If they can do that with "Black Friday" certainly "black" can be reflected as a positive in other ways don't you think?

School Fundraising Project Comes Under Fire

It was supposed to be a fundraiser to help the school generate some much needed money for supplies:

Rosewood Middle School price list

♦A $20 donation buys 10-point credits to be used on two tests of the student's choice.

♦A $30 donation buys the test points and admission to a 5th-period dance.

♦A $60 donation buys students test points, the dance invitation, and a "special 30-minute lunch period with pizza, drink and the choice to invite one friend to join them."

♦Photo ops with Rosewood principal Susie Shepherd, the vice principal, and a home room teacher go for $75. The photos will be posted on a school bulletin board and on the school's Web site.

The Principal thought it was a good idea when it was recommended to her by the parent advisory council but District School Administrators had the last say and nixed the idea. Some said exchanging grades for money teaches children the wrong lessons. It is also a bad testing practice and is unfair to students whose parents can't pay.

But some parents were willing to pay to help the school raise some much needed funds because last year's fundraising efforts of selling chocolates didn't raise one dime.

So what do you think? Would you pay to help your child earn extra credit in school--especially if they really needed it?

Sad Ending to the Shaniya Davis Story

I, like many others in North Carolina, am shocked, saddened and even outraged over the death of little Shaniya Davis. This is the five-year-old who was being used as a sex slave by her mother, 25-year-old Antoinette Davis. Shaniya's body was discovered Monday in a rural area---several days after her mother reported her missing from their mobile home.

Here's the timeline according to Fayetteville Police:

Davis called police at 6:53 a.m. one week ago today to report that her daughter was missing.

Davis told police the last time she saw the child was at 5:30 a.m. inside their mobile home.

At 6:11 a.m. that day, a surveillance camera at a Sanford hotel recorded Shaniya in the arms of a man identified as Mario Andrette McNeill, 29, of Fayetteville.

On Monday, police said McNeill left the hotel with Shaniya at 7:30 a.m.

In a news release issued today, Fayetteville Police say Shaniya was alive when she left a Sanford motel. What happened between then and yesterday's discovery is still a mystery.

Meanwhile, Anotinette Davis sits in jail charged with human trafficking and felony child abuse. Her mother is maintaining her innocence, saying her daughter would never do anything to hurt her child. Let me say this, never say what your children won't do because they will make a liar out of you. Just ask me. I could've sworn my teenage daughter wasn't having sex but now I have a grandson.

One more sick piece of this horrific story is the fact that this human trafficking, child abusing mother is PREGNANT AGAIN!