From Teenage Mom to Responsible Parent

Now that my daughter is back in college, I am wearing the primary caregiver hat for her son/my grandson.

It has been so amazing to see my once "I can't believe you got pregnant teenage daughter!" develop into a responsible, loving and nurturing mother.

Instead of using her summer to work full-time to save for college expenses, she chose to spend it preparing her four-year-old for a big test he would have to take as an "early entry" into kindergarten. (He missed the cutoff date by 6 days).

Everyday they went to the library--including Saturdays. She taught him to identify and spell more than 200 words, spell and write his name so it was legible, tell time and do math. Oh, did I tell you he had to learn to read?

Day in and day out, she challenged him and herself to accomplish the goal of scoring in the 98 percentile (what the state law REQUIRES in order to be admitted into kindergarten). It was frustrating at times---even for me and I was just an assistant teacher.

On Wednesday, August 31, my grandson will be a part of the 2011-2012 kindergarten class.

My daughter's hard work and tenacity paid BIG DIVIDENDS. Grandma is so proud!

Teaching Grandchildren Discipline

Discipline comes in many forms. Some parents believe in time out (which I don't personally think works). Others think taking a way a privilege gets the job done, while some maintain the traditional form of punishment: a good old-fashioned butt-whooping.

Even thought I'm an old school, old-fashioned grandma, I have discovered children don't need to be disciplined if they are taught self-discipline and they can be taught self-discipline through martial arts. There is no beating children into submission or rough-housing. Instead, it teaches children the skill of protecting themselves, along with self-control, humility and respect.

Self-discipline is what ALL children need as they grow and mature. It helps them take responsibility for the things they do. They begin to become aware of their responsibilities not because they are being reminded of them but because doing them is the right thing to do. They will understand for example, that household chores, homework, or even eating vegetables, should be done even if they are not pleasurable.

What do you think? Do you think kids don't need to be disciplined if they are taught self-discipline? How are you teaching your children and grandchildren discipline?

Who are My Forefathers?

I had an interesting conversation today at Costo's which prompted this blog post.

While waiting for my medication two older gentlemen were talking about the principals this country were founded upon and how we have lost sight of that with President Obama in the White House. I'm not sure what one had to do with the other but I kept listening.

One man said he thought the TRUE patriots were those who came from small towns---rural America---because as he put it, "They still believe and live by the values this country was founded upon." He said our forefathers laid out a roadmap by which we were to follow and we have totally strayed from it.

OK---that was my cue to jump in the conversation.

I asked him if he believed our forefathers held the best interests of everyone, in light of the fact that slavery existed and ALL of them owned slaves. He said our forefathers were lookin' out for the Coloreds because they were in a foreign land and needed guidance until they could get on their feet.  REALLY?!  So they could get on their feet and do what?  Get whipped to a pulp again for not obeying massah?

I thought I was being punked and Ashton Kutcher would come out at any moment.

I can't even tell you how stunned I was to hear his response and to think he truly believed that in his heart.

"Mahone-Gibbs. Your medication is ready."

THANK YOU JESUS!

So who were my forefathers again?

Your All-Time Favorite TV Boomer Dad

If you're like me, you more than likely grew up watching shows like Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, Courtship of Eddie's Father, etc.

This is a simple question: Who was your all-time favorite TV Dad?

Here's a few to choose from or, perhaps, you have one I didn't name:


Steve Douglas (My Three Sons)
Jim Anderson (Father Knows Best)
Jason Seavor (Growing Pains),
Tom Corbett (Courtship of Eddie's Father)
Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show),
Danny Williams (Danny Thomas Show)
Michael Keaton (Family Ties)
Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver)
Archie Bunker (All in the Family)
James Evans (Good Times)

Take the Training Wheels Off Grandma

This week we bought my grandson a new bicycle. He got his first bike when he was two-years-old. He had to grow into it---even with the training wheels.

When we gave him the new bike the first thing he said was "Take the training wheels off grandma!" Of course, my heart sank at the thought of this four-year-old trying to ride his new "big boy bike" with no training wheels. But he kept insisting so we gave in and, lo and behold, he started riding in no time.

The moral to this story: You block your goals when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.

Jarod proved that he had more faith than fear.

12 Life Lessons for the Grandson of an African American Baby Boomer

Professor Devin Robinson wrote a blog post where he lists 12 things he believes black men must do and be in their lifetime. I chose to post four things from his awesome list because it is my sincere hope that my four-year-old grandson will take the subjects on this list to heart and be the kind of man he is currently being raised to be.


12 Things a Black Man Must Do or Be in His Lifetime

4. Be compassionate towards women – Girls examine the relationship men have towards women. If that relationship is disrespectful and unhealthy, girls will grow up accepting this treatment and boys will expect these habits to be becoming of them when they become adults.

5. Seek knowledge – The worst thing a man can ever do is stop growing. Knowledge is the cornerstone to liberation and without it the Black population is doomed to repeat our past.

6. Teach others – Sharing wisdom is an important contribution towards reshaping the minds of the Black population. Remaining objective and approachable is also a “teaching” technique. You teach others how to learn when you set the example.

7. Have a strong spiritual foundation – Narcissism is a harmful psychological toxin. It makes us believe that we are the master of our destiny. Understanding that our purpose is already written and encourage others to understand this will make the Black body more mindful of our frivolous acts and necessary virtue.

*If you click on the "12 Things....." it will take you to the complete list.

When Your Best Isn't Good Enough

My four-year-old grandson is facing a dilemna that he is totally unaware of. Although he is READY for kindergarten, both emotionally and academically, he will not be permitted to attend next year because his birthdate falls past the cutoff date. The cutoff date is August 31---his birthday is September 6.

We were given three options:

1) Get tested for the Durham Public Schools Pre-Kindergarten Program
2) Get tested for early entrance in kindergarten
3) Return to daycare

On Wednesday, my grandson was tested by the Durham Public Schools Pre-K program. He scored in the 94 percentile. The tester told my daughter she was very impressed with his skills but was doubtful that he would be accepted because his score was TOO HIGH. He needed to score BELOW 60 percent. What in the %!#$%*!?! Are they serious?!

Option Two: In order to be tested for early entry into kindergarten, we must pay $500 to see if he will score in the 98 percentile. And if he doesn't pass, well, too bad--there's no refund.

Option Three: Return to daycare with two, three and four year olds. NOT A VIABLE OPTION!

My grandson proved this week that he deserves to be in kindergarten but because of some ridiclous North Carolina Board of Education Law, he may be held back because he will have to be on a first grade level in order to pass a test for kindergarten.

Sadly, the same system that is trying to promote academic excellence is also the same one that is holding kids back from being able to shine when they're ready.

So what happens when my grandson does finally enter kindergarten at 6 years old and is bored out of his mind because he already knows what 70 percent of his fellow classmates don't know? Will he then be considered a discipline problem?

How do you tell a child their best isn't good enough when you know in your heart, it really is?