Black is STILL Beautiful 50 Years Later

Recently my pre-teen grandson (Jarod) asked me if I thought he was "too black."  Of course, this inquiring mind wanted to know what would make him ask me such a question  since we weren't having any real conversation.  But as I dug a little deeper, I learned that a young lady at his summer camp told him she thought he was too black to talk to her.  I then asked, "Was she light-skinned?"  His response, "Yes."

So here were are in the 21st century STILL dealing with that age old issue of light skin versus dark skin.  I dealt with that issue as a child more than 50 years ago and now, it appears, my grandson has been confronted with it by a girl who has been convinced that her light skin makes her better and she refuses to associate with anyone as dark as my grandson.  In that moment, I knew exactly what that pain of rejection felt like but in an effort to empower him to think positively about himself at ALL times I told him the girl probably wasn't very smart and he should always be focused on wanting to deal with SMART over light skinned and pretty.  Besides, that same girl may try to seek him out once he makes it to the NFL (they always do).

Those of us who are over 60 remember the "paper bag test" where you gained access to social events, job opportunities, schools, fraternities and sororities based on your skin complexion.

Colorism: "Prejudicial or preferential treatment of same-raced people based solely on their skin color.” That's how author and activist Alice Walker described it in her 1983 book, In Search of Our Mother's Gardens.   

According to Temple University Associate Professor Lori Tharps, "...skin color will continue to serve as the most obvious criterion in determining how a person will be evaluated and judged.  In this country, because of deeply entrenched racism we already know that dark skin is demonized and light skin wins the prize."

Among African Americans, skin tone is an important physical characteristic that creates divisions in the community and affects quality of life. Like gender, a person’s skin tone is a visible physical trait that others immediately notice during social interactions and use to form judgments (Maddox & Gray, 2002). Throughout American history, variations in skin tone have contributed to socioeconomic status (SES) differences among African Americans (Herring, Keith, & Horton, 2004; Keith & Herring, 1991). Furthermore, African Americans use skin tone variations to distinguish themselves from each other, reflecting social status hierarchies.

Sadly the young lady who chose to display a negative attitude towards my grandson because of his dark skin tone will have to deal with her own demons at some point in life.  Being light skinned may get you a pass but, as Michael Eric Dyson puts it, "one needs to do more than be light-skinned to reap the rewards of light privilege in a culture that remains profoundly color-struck." 

In the meantime, we are continuing to teach Jarod to love and appreciate his blackness because one day the right person will come along and appreciate him for who he is.

SAY IT LOUD, WE'RE BLACK AND WE'RE PROUD! 

You Can't Look Pretty and Exercise

While I was out this morning, I ran into a few women, around my age, who were rather well dressed.  One had on a beautiful necklace with matching earrings; another had The Tammy Faye Baker look (face caked with make-up) and another had on a nice pantsuit.  I spoke to each one as I passed them individually but then I thought to myself, "Where the hell do they think they are?!"  WE'RE EXERCISING, for God's sake!

Yes, while I was out doing my morning walk/run around the Duke Wall (1.6 miles in distance), I noticed these other "mature" women out doing, what I thought, was the same thing.  But based on the way they were dressed, perhaps they were just taking a morning stroll.  Now that would make total sense if we were in a park setting----but the Duke Wall is a gravel, rugged, sandy track and when the maintenance crew is in the area working you're sure to get some of that dirt blown on your face and body.

I do know there are older women who won't dare step out in public without a certain "look" or image but if you're trying to exercise, you can't look pretty.  Real exercise is hard work.  If you're doing it to burn calories you will sweat and makeup sweat is not a good look.  And what's the point of wearing nice jewelry? It only exposes to you to possibly becoming the victim of a crime by someone with questionable motives for being at the Wall. 

So listen up my fellow baby boomer women....if you are going to exercise, be mindful of your appearance.  The website ZestNow.com offers these suggestions:

Bras –  Strong support with comfort and flexibility is much better with the especially designed styles. They have wider, more comfortable straps, smooth seams, and durable, breathable fabrics. Danskin’s were originally developed for dancers and they have a long history of durability and comfort.  PLEASE WEAR ONE!  No one is interested in seeing sagging, floppy breasts.

Bottoms – Pants should be designed for ease of movement. You can choose from styles which are loose-fitting for comfort or form-fitting styles for support.  

Tops – Several different tops are important to have. They’re much nicer to wear than old worn out t-shirts. It’s good to have a wardrobe of tops for different temperatures, activities and locations. Choose a color you love and you’ll feel better wearing it.

Shoes – The right shoes become more important over 50.  I think Merrill shoes are perfect for women’s feet after 50. They’re lightweight, yet strong with good support. They have a roomy toe box with extra comfort for bunions, corns or any foot problems. They also have mesh inserts to breathe so feet don’t get too hot. A very wide choice of colors are available. 

And when you're finished working out, make sure you go home and shower instead of running errands. While it may be OK to make the excuse that you've just come from working out, someone who recognizes you in public may never forget your sweaty look or smell.  (I had to learn that lesson the hard way).

 

The Power of Prayer from a Child's Perspective

The other day my 11-year-old grandson and I were talking about a variety of things and the subject of prayer came up.  I asked him if he thought he would make the Shrine Bowl (a football game where the best players in his age group from NC are selected to compete against the best players from SC).

His response:  "Not really because I knew I was competing against kids all over the state.  I thought I was good but maybe not better than some other players."

I asked him if he prayed about it.  He said he did.  I then asked him if he prayed everyday until he found out if he made the team.  He said, "No, I just prayed once to ask God to let me make the shrine bowl team."

I asked him why he only prayed once.  His response:  "Because that's all it takes.  God heard me the first time."

Now I have to tell you I was totally floored by his response!  They say out of the mouths of babes......

And then what did he do until he got the official word?  He continued to work on his skills. He joined the track team at school (reluctantly) to work on building his running game and endurance, He worked out with a youth football squad under a former coach.  His asked granddad to toss the football with him for arm strength.

I was reminded of this scripture in the Bible from James 2-18:

But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

 His response was just what I needed. 

For those of you who do not know I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 1999.  (to read the back story follow this link:  https://babyboomerbev.blogspot.com/2017/10/18-years.html ) After my last physical (October 2017), I was convinced I was on the road to a full recovery, so much to the point that my doctor told me I could stop taking my heart medication.  But recently, I suffered a major relapse when I began experiencing shortness of breath and could barely walk from one room of my house to another.  An echocardiogram revealed my heart has weakened by nearly 50 percent of what it was a year ago. My ejection fraction went from 45 to 25 percent.  (An ejection fraction of 55 percent or higher is considered normal).

After spending three days in bed (and in constant prayer), I thought again about that scripture and it became my motivation to get out of bed and push myself to take action and not allow myself to succumb to the "woe is me" mentality.  Staying in bed and asking God for healing wasn't getting the job done.

What my grandson taught ME is prayer is powerful, but prayer alone and praying the same prayer over and over again won't change a thing until YOU show your faith by your works.

And just so you know, he DID make the Shrine Bowl!

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The Trump Effect and White America

Little did Hillary Clinton know that when she called some Trump supporters a "basket of deplorables" during the 2016 presidential campaign she would be opening up a Pandora's box that has now emboldened those people to embrace themselves as Trump's adorable deplorables. Now if you look up the word deplorable, it means:  shockingly bad in quality...along with disgraceful, shameful, wretched, atrocious.  I'm not sure why anyone in their right mind would want to think of themselves in that manner but perhaps it's because they don't really understand what the word means or they simply don't care because they see Donald Trump as their champion, their savior, so to speak.  These are the people who live in FEAR.

There's a new study out that says white people who fear democracy may benefit marginalized people (like Blacks, Hispanics and other immigrants) would rather give up democracy to keep their white privilege.  This study connects white American intolerance and support for authoritarianism.  Whites, according to the World Values Survey, say they would rather have a military style rule of government than to have people of color or immigrants living next to them or socializing with them in any way. 

The irony of this is the fact that the white population is continuing to decrease as more and more of the races continue to mix.  Meanwhile, the GOP has pigeon-holed itself into being the Party of the angry white male and his "submissive, I do as I'm told" wife.

 George Washington said in his farewell address in 1796 that political parties could allow cunning, ambitious, unprincipled men rise to power and subvert democracy.

Can you say DONALD TRUMP, STEVE BANNON, STEPHEN MILLER?

As Thomas Paine said it back in 1776, "These are the times that try men's souls'"

A New Survey Says Millennials Blame Baby Boomers for Their Troubles and They Should

OK--I've got a new survey to report to you---this one courtesy of Axios and Survey Monkey.

Millennials say baby boomers are to blame for ruining their lives and guess what?  I happen to agree with them despite the fact that I am a member of the baby boomer generation.  

Fifty-one percent of millennials say boomers have made things worst for their generation.  Not only are they in debt from student loans but they also inherited two wars and they face an uncertain job future with speculation that artificial intelligence may replace some jobs they would vie for in their future.  

Baby boomers, on the other hand, don't appear to be trying to leave the job market anytime soon unless they're FORCED out so with retirement age being as late as age 70, boomers can still be collecting a nice paycheck right up until the end.  

No doubt about it, the boomer generation has been a greedy generation.  They have controlled Congress and and been the CEO's of the major corporations in America.  According to Linette Lopez, a millennial, "The baby boomers who have controlled this country since the 1980's are selfish, entitled generation.  Instead of spending money on education our government has repeatedly chosen to cut taxes for the wealthy."  

And if that's not enough, a survey of millionaire baby boomers (of which I was NOT included), more than 50 percent said they had no plans to leave an inheritance to their children. One woman was quoted as saying she had made a lot of sacrifices for her children over the years, including paying her daughter's medical tuition.  According to this survey, conducted by U.S. Trust, some wealthy boomers worry that their kids will squander their inheritance money or develop a sense of entitlement.  

Ha! 

Millennials did offer some suggestions on how to improve things for their future.  One being to remove all old government officials and set term limits for the House and Senate representatives (I LOVE that idea!).  

A number of them said IMPEACH TRUMP and then make sure you get out and vote. 

To learn more about the Bay Boomer/Millennial Divide, you can get a copy of my book on Amazon.  I wrote this BEFORE this survey came out.

Axios/SurveyMonkey online poll was conducted April 9-13 among 4,638 adults in the United States. The modeled error estimate is 2 percentage points. Data have been weighted for age, race, sex, education, and geography using the Census Bureau’s American Community Survey to reflect the demographic composition of the United States age 18 and over.



   

Survey Says More Black Men Favor Donald Trump

To be perfectly honest, I had to read this survey over a few times to make sure I was reading it correctly.  You see, I truly have a hard time believing any black man, other than Ben Carson and  Pastors Mark Burns and Darrell Scott, would come out and give a favorable reaction to Donald Trump's first year in the White House.

One simple question was asked in the survey conducted by SurveyMonkey:

Do you approve or disapprove of the way Donald Trump is handling his job as President?

• Strongly approve
• Somewhat approve
• Somewhat disapprove
• Strongly disapprove

Then you were asked to support your answer with a comment.

According to an article written in The Atlantic, the survey involved more than 600,000 people--although there is no actual breakdown of how many of those interviewed were black.  That is probably part of the problem.  Without knowing the number of black participants, there is no way to get accurate insight.  For example, if only 100 blacks participated and 20 of them said they somewhat approve, that can be interpreted as favorable.

Among African Americans and Hispanics, reactions to Trump depend more on gender than age or education. In every age group, and at every level of education, about twice as many African American men as women gave Trump positive marks. In all, 23 percent of black men approved of Trump’s performance versus 11 percent of black women....black men are one of the few groups for which Trump’s 2017 average approval rating significantly exceeds his 2016 vote share.  From The Atlantic article.

The point is 23 percent of black men who gave Trump a favorable rating for SurveyMonkey OUTNUMBERS the 8 percent support he received from ALL blacks during the November 2016 election.  But once again, it's 23 percent of what????????

Personally, I think this survey is misleading and serves no real purpose in determining how Black America feels about a man who has publicly humiliated them at every turn.  If there are black men out here  (other than the ones mentioned above) who really believe Trump has done a decent job in representing ALL Americans, I invite them to leave a comment on this blog post to state your case.  I always welcome different points of view because, after all, I am a journalist.

Here's another telling statistic from the survey:

In the 2016 election, exit polls indicated Trump's strongest base were non-college educated whites at 66 percent.  In 2017, their support, according to SurveyMonkey, has dropped to 56 percent. And among white Millennials, his disapproval rating is a whopping 76 percent!

Proud Mary is the Coffy and Foxy Brown for the Millennial Generation

As a young adult, I remember going to see a movie called Coffy staring Pam Grier.  Grier portrayed a nurse who was out for vigilante justice against inner city drug dealers after her sister became addicted.  At the time, Coffy was viewed as the female version of Shaft.  She was a bad mother ..SHUT YO MOUTH.

Then came Foxy Brown--another Pam Grier movie---where she played a crime fighter who used her sex appeal to battle the bad guys in and out of the bedroom.


Now more than 40 years later, we have another bad mama jama to hit the screen and we know her as Proud Mary.  Taraji P. Henson, best known for her role as Cookie on the highly rated Fox TV show Empire, portrays, what I will say, "a hit woman with a heart."  The movie opens up with Mary killing a bookie who was over $100K in debt to the mob boss she worked for.  (Mob boss played by Danny Glover).  After she executes him, she discovers a little boy in a back bedroom. She then grabs a photo of him off of a table and leaves the house.  Over the next several weeks (or months perhaps) she keeps tabs on the young man, probably out of guilt, until she finds him lying in an alley after having been beaten.  She then takes him in and begins to nurture him.  Once she discovers the torture he has been subjected to by a rival crime family, she takes matters into her own hands and the killing sprees begin.

Just in the past three years we have seen Taraji  demonstrate her range as an actress,  In 2014, she showed us the lengths any mother would go to to protect herself and her children in the suspense thriller No Good Deed.  She followed that up with  the critically acclaimed, blockbuster movie Hidden Figures, where she brilliantly played a black mathematician.  Now we see her as an assassin who, in spite of all the blood on her hands, spends the entire movie trying to right a wrong she believes she committed when she left the little boy to grow up as an orphan after murdering his father.

The fact that Sony put little or no effort into promoting this movie is disappointing but it also reflects the fact that Hollywood still doesn't believe Blacks, especially females, can carry a lead role with box office success. The other explanation might be that it had no sex scenes in it and I guess white producers think blacks won;t go see a movie if there is no sex in it.  But I will say this:  Taraji was one sexy hit woman!

I recall Atomic Blonde, featuring Charlize Theron, being HEAVILY promoted in 2017 and that movie, in my humble opinion, wasn't nearly as good as Proud Mary.  

Is this a must see movie? Absolutely!  For two reasons:  You will get to see how talented Taraji really is and you will be giving support to another black actress in a leading role.

One more thing....the last three minutes of the movie will make you laugh and cry

My husband and I give this 8 out of 10 stars.