Skip to main content

Unspeakable Truth

I spent a good part of my day yesterday searching for clues surrounding the mystery of my father's father.

Because I know my grandmother's maiden name, I was busy trying to find possible relatives who would be connected to her. White Pages and Zabasearch got me only so far by at least providing some recognizable names and addresses, however, the numbers they listed have been disconnected with no new information available.

I then tried to find out more information through the census records--only to find that they send you to, who then turns arounds and makes you pay to find out the information you're looking for.

I did end up paying $35.50 for a copy of my father's birth certificate from the Alabama Dept. of Vital Records. Hopefully, there will be a record on file to shed more light on this mystery.

I don't know what I find more disturbing about this story: The fact that my grandmother, a woman who was crowned a "saint" in her latter years, was fooling around and had TWO children out of wedlock back in the 1920s....or the fact that no one, after all of these years, felt it was important to come clean with their UNSPEAKABLE TRUTH!


Debra Stokes said…
I sense your frustration, Bev. Hang in there with the systems and processes until you reach your desired goal: accurate information. You've gone into your "investigative journalist" mode and there's nothing stopping you from getting to the facts.
Anonymous said…
I'd certainly be disturbed about this, but people used to think the right thing to do was to bury such information -- and the deeper the better. Of course, you can't be sure that your grandmother was willingly fooling around; in which case, I am sure the whole family would want to forget. What I'm saying is, don't be too hard on them all . . . and I hope your quest is successful!
LindaAlexander said…
You're getting into MY obsession now! Once you start on this journey, you're not likely to stop ... one thing leads to another leads to another. Remember, there's always another tidbit around that corner, & there's always another family secret in that closet.

And if you want a cursory check of those Ancestry records for your family name, e-mail me. In the meantime, keep on keepin' on. It's a worthwhile effort.
Sharon McMillan said…
There's probably so much to this story to uncover in order to get a full understanding of your grandmother's situation.

I too want to do some research of my mother's family history (first). Last summer I traveled to Jamaica with her and went through quite a bit of family history as we worked on restoring and developing family land.

I actually interviewed her on video and uploaded it to YouTube so I could share some of her "recollections" with other family members and friends. I need to do more videos...

Now that my kids are grown, I feel the need to more of this kind of thing. Like you, I want to understand what my ancestors went through, achieved, etc.

All the best with your research!
vicki said…
Bev- having been through something similar with my family and having the surname of Kelly to work with (which is like a needle in a haystack when looking at Irish immigration records) have you thought she might have been married and widowed so the surname could be different this was the case for me - once I looked at marriage records and found mine had married and then was widowed many doors opened
Good luck and yes it becomes an obsession
Beverly said…
In the U.S., the mother uses her maiden name for the purpose of the birth certificate. I don't know why that is. So when they searched for a birth certificate using that information, they found nothing.

I have since learned my father was born at home so there wouldn't have been any record in the hospital and apparently my grandmother did not report my father's birth to the County.

I have also learned the man I thought was my grandfather died 9 years before my dad was born and my grandmother had two more children by two different men. QUITE DISTURBING.

Popular posts from this blog

Millennials Want Their Own Day

In case you haven't heard the news, there's a online petition encouraging the man they call the President of the U.S. to establish a National Millennials Day.

Self-proclaimed millennial leaders James Goodnow and Ryan Avery want to establish June 19 as a day for Generation Y to dispel the FAKE NEWS being spread about them.  They say they simply want to show those of us who have labeled them as "entitled" selfish" lazy" "narcissistic" (and other choice adjectives) that they can be important contributors to society.  Their "vision is to make National Millennials Day a day of service--a day when they reach out and help others in their communities.

 According to their website,, organizers say "With National Millennials Day, we want to turn the stereotypes inside--out.  To show that we're more GENERATION WE than Generation ME. To transform ideals into actions.  To inspire hope for the future.  To celebrate the most open…

The Tragedy and Illusion of Facebook

"Things aren't always the way they appear."  No truer words could be spoken following the tragic death of Karen Smith in San Bernardino, CA this week.  She was murdered on her job---in a classroom where she was teaching young students.

What intrigued me about this story was the fact that she and her husband killer, Cedric Anderson were black baby boomers around the same age as my husband and myself.  I was particularly interested in the posts he made on Facebook.  By all accounts, he posted regularly on Facebook about the so-called love and admiration he had for his wife.  He created an image that was clearly contrary to the murderous behavior he demonstrated when he walked into her classroom and killed her.

In a February 27th post, he posted a selfie video and said:  "I love being married to Karen Smith-Anderson!"

March 11 post, he said: "My wife Karen Smith-Anderson is an Angel!!!"

March 12: He posted a youtube song by Sade titled By Your Side and said:…

This Survey Stinks for Baby Boomers

The majority of baby boomers do not wash their underwear enough!  That's what an online survey by Mulberry Cleaners revealed recently.  The results were published in Reader's Digest.

I have to admit I was very surprised to read the results, which indicated 16 percent of middle-aged folks reported NEVER washing their underwear.  Now, 16 percent may not sound like a large number but that's still 16 percent too many, in comparison to 85 percent of millennials who said they toss their undergarments in the laundry after one or two wears.  Only 10.3 percent of millennial women said they never washed theirs, which might make sense if these young women had parents who were enablers and never taught them to do much of anything, especially how to wash clothes.

When it comes to washing bed sheets, 43 percent of women said they wash them every week, compared to seven percent of men who said they had washed their sheets only once in six months.  But even worse than that is the fact th…