Saturday, February 24, 2007
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...Yes, I'm the Fairest One of All!
When I was in my twenties, I was so busy living for the moment that I never had time to think about tomorrow. I was in the beginning of what was expected to be a big time television news career. I had a body that turned heads and a burst of energy for my very active lifestyle. I was what you would call a Diva.
In my thirties, I started taking life more seriously. I was focused on a lifetime of happiness with my husband and daughter while working hard to develop my career. I was determined not to let anything or anyone stand in my way.
Now I'm in my late 40s reflecting on the would've, should've, could've aspects of my life. What was supposed to be a big time television career resulted in a stressful, dead end job that just paid the bills. That lifetime of happiness with my husband ended abruptly in divorce court and I spent many frustrating days and nights trying to raise a child by myself.
To top it off, I'm now trying to cope with growing older in a world that caters to the young. It seems as though middle age sneaked up on me like a thief in the night and with it came changes for which I wasn't prepared.
These days when I look in the mirror, I see a woman I'm not sure I recognize. She has strands of gray hair and wrinkles in places easily seen. That drop dead gorgeous body has been replaced with some unattractive bulges and cellulite. These are just a few of the road signs pointing to my journey into middle age.
Growing older is a trip but not what I'd call a vacation. I certainly don't have that relaxed feeling you're supposed to get after some hot fun in the sun. These days I don't need any sun to get hot and I definitely wouldn't classify getting older as fun.
Friends contend you can slow down the aging process but I argue you can't stop it. So for all you women who think you'll look twenty-five forever, forget it!
All the plastic surgery in the world will not help. I don't care how many face lifts, botox shots or tummy tucks you receive, at some point in your life you will feel what it's like to grow older.
That’s the frame of mind I was in as I started writing. My book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age began as a journal of frustration that turned into a book of celebration. Throughout the pages I share the discoveries I’ve made about growing older. Yes, I’m getting older---but I’m also getting better. I’ve become so much more mature and confident in being who I am. These days, I’m connected spiritually to a Higher Power that helps me to soar to even greater heights.
OK, so I’ve put on a few extra pounds but it doesn’t change the person I am on the inside. I’m fabulous and bodacious, sassy and classy and as my daughter would say, “all that and a bag of chips!” And guess what else? I finally figured out the difference between LUST and LOVE.
Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age is for you if you or someone you know was born between 1946 and 1970.
It's for you if you can't figure out your mother's bizarre behavior or are trying to cope with your own emotional roller coaster.
Are you back on the dating scene after spending years believing you had found Mr. Right?
Do you have teenagers who think they know more than you do?
By no means do I claim to be an expert who has the remedy for what ails your middle age heart, body and soul. This book traces my personal into a world that is bringing about new challenges and forcing me to deal with my own mortality.
I know I can't turn back the hands of time so I just say WHATEVER!
You may find we have a great deal in common.
In my thirties, I started taking life more seriously. I was focused on a lifetime of happiness with my husband and daughter while working hard to develop my career. I was determined not to let anything or anyone stand in my way.
Now I'm in my late 40s reflecting on the would've, should've, could've aspects of my life. What was supposed to be a big time television career resulted in a stressful, dead end job that just paid the bills. That lifetime of happiness with my husband ended abruptly in divorce court and I spent many frustrating days and nights trying to raise a child by myself.
To top it off, I'm now trying to cope with growing older in a world that caters to the young. It seems as though middle age sneaked up on me like a thief in the night and with it came changes for which I wasn't prepared.
These days when I look in the mirror, I see a woman I'm not sure I recognize. She has strands of gray hair and wrinkles in places easily seen. That drop dead gorgeous body has been replaced with some unattractive bulges and cellulite. These are just a few of the road signs pointing to my journey into middle age.
Growing older is a trip but not what I'd call a vacation. I certainly don't have that relaxed feeling you're supposed to get after some hot fun in the sun. These days I don't need any sun to get hot and I definitely wouldn't classify getting older as fun.
Friends contend you can slow down the aging process but I argue you can't stop it. So for all you women who think you'll look twenty-five forever, forget it!
All the plastic surgery in the world will not help. I don't care how many face lifts, botox shots or tummy tucks you receive, at some point in your life you will feel what it's like to grow older.
That’s the frame of mind I was in as I started writing. My book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age began as a journal of frustration that turned into a book of celebration. Throughout the pages I share the discoveries I’ve made about growing older. Yes, I’m getting older---but I’m also getting better. I’ve become so much more mature and confident in being who I am. These days, I’m connected spiritually to a Higher Power that helps me to soar to even greater heights.
OK, so I’ve put on a few extra pounds but it doesn’t change the person I am on the inside. I’m fabulous and bodacious, sassy and classy and as my daughter would say, “all that and a bag of chips!” And guess what else? I finally figured out the difference between LUST and LOVE.
Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age is for you if you or someone you know was born between 1946 and 1970.
It's for you if you can't figure out your mother's bizarre behavior or are trying to cope with your own emotional roller coaster.
Are you back on the dating scene after spending years believing you had found Mr. Right?
Do you have teenagers who think they know more than you do?
By no means do I claim to be an expert who has the remedy for what ails your middle age heart, body and soul. This book traces my personal into a world that is bringing about new challenges and forcing me to deal with my own mortality.
I know I can't turn back the hands of time so I just say WHATEVER!
You may find we have a great deal in common.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Menopause & Diet
Full-blown meno-pause (also called change of life) is when the menstrual period ends, which normally occurs during middle age. Meno-pause in some women has also been known to occur as early as their mid 30's especially if ovarian production of estrogen and progesterone in their bodies begins to decline.
Needless to say, a deficiency of hormones is going to have a significant impact on both physical and mental health. Diet, exercise, lifestyle changes and dietary supplements like zinc and selenium can reduce the symptoms of menopause.
Here are some common diet solutions for hot flashes for women who are approaching or in menopause:
• Limit caffeine intake. Tea, coffee, alcohol, spicy foods and caffeinated beverages can have an effect. High amounts of caffeine may aggravate hot flashes and weaken the bones.
• Take vitamin D. You can get enough from exposure to sun for a few minutes each day. The daily intake should be 400 to 800 IU.
• Consume calcium. The daily intake should be 800 to 1,500 mg. Good sources of calcium are dark green vegetables, low-fat dairy products, salmon and legumes.
• Stop smoking. Smoking increases the risk of osteoporosis, hip fracture and also increases the risk of heart attack and stroke.
Soy best in moderation
• Eat a diet rich in phytoestrogens. Examples are tofu, nuts, seeds and flaxseeds to protect your heart. Even though soy protein contains phytoestrogens, which help balance your hormones, soy also has other phytochemicals called phytates that can block the absorption of necessary nutrients such as zinc and iodine, so use it wisely. The best way to eat soy is in its fermented form, since it reduces the nutrient-blocking effects.
Weight gain can occur during menopause due to the changes in hormone levels, possibly due to declining estrogen. In order to maintain a healthy weight, you need to eat less calories less and exercise more. Consistency is the key to your exercise program because it will also help keep away any additonal pounds.
Some have asked if men go through menopause. The answer is yes! They do experience the so-called the change of life as a result of declining hormones. Low testosterone is commonly seen in men beginning in their 40s. This is associated with symptoms of aging in males.
Beverly Mahone is an author and baby boomer expert. For more information, visit her website: www.talk2bev.com
Needless to say, a deficiency of hormones is going to have a significant impact on both physical and mental health. Diet, exercise, lifestyle changes and dietary supplements like zinc and selenium can reduce the symptoms of menopause.
Here are some common diet solutions for hot flashes for women who are approaching or in menopause:
• Limit caffeine intake. Tea, coffee, alcohol, spicy foods and caffeinated beverages can have an effect. High amounts of caffeine may aggravate hot flashes and weaken the bones.
• Take vitamin D. You can get enough from exposure to sun for a few minutes each day. The daily intake should be 400 to 800 IU.
• Consume calcium. The daily intake should be 800 to 1,500 mg. Good sources of calcium are dark green vegetables, low-fat dairy products, salmon and legumes.
• Stop smoking. Smoking increases the risk of osteoporosis, hip fracture and also increases the risk of heart attack and stroke.
Soy best in moderation
• Eat a diet rich in phytoestrogens. Examples are tofu, nuts, seeds and flaxseeds to protect your heart. Even though soy protein contains phytoestrogens, which help balance your hormones, soy also has other phytochemicals called phytates that can block the absorption of necessary nutrients such as zinc and iodine, so use it wisely. The best way to eat soy is in its fermented form, since it reduces the nutrient-blocking effects.
Weight gain can occur during menopause due to the changes in hormone levels, possibly due to declining estrogen. In order to maintain a healthy weight, you need to eat less calories less and exercise more. Consistency is the key to your exercise program because it will also help keep away any additonal pounds.
Some have asked if men go through menopause. The answer is yes! They do experience the so-called the change of life as a result of declining hormones. Low testosterone is commonly seen in men beginning in their 40s. This is associated with symptoms of aging in males.
Beverly Mahone is an author and baby boomer expert. For more information, visit her website: www.talk2bev.com
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Help, My Body is Under Attack!
My doctor said the weight gain was a result of my metabolism slowing down. She said it was one of the symptoms of perimenopause and part of the aging process. But there was good news according to her. “Just cut back on your calorie intake, Beverly, and exercise,” she said. “That will keep your weight under control.” Oh, that’s just great. Not only do I have to eat like a bird but then I have to sweat like a pig in the gym!
Weight gain and hot flashes were my introduction into the world of menopause. As soon as I knew what I was experiencing had a name attached to it other than “lunatic”, I started doing research because I wanted to know more about what I could expect physically and even mentally. I discovered weight gain begins primarily during perimenopause. It is estimated that a woman may gain a pound a year during this time.
It is believed that hormone levels associated with menopause are not the sole cause of weight gain. However, aging and lifestyle does play a major role in how your body changes over the course of time. The reasons are that menopausal women tend to exercise less; eat more; and burn fewer calories. The result is a shift in the composition of your body which results in more fat and less muscle as your metabolism slows down. It is no surprise that genetics most definitely contribute to weight gain. If your parents are on the heavy side, chances are you or one of your siblings will inherit that particular body type as well.
While we all know that weight gain can cause health problems, excess weight gain during menopause increases the chance of developing serious conditions. Studies have shown that women who gain in excess of 20 pounds after menopause increase their breast cancer risk by nearly 20 percent. On the other hand, women who lose weight after menopause can reduce their risk of breast cancer by that much and more. It is estimated that women who lose 20 pounds after menopause reduce their breast cancer risk by as much as 23 percent.
In order to maintain a healthy body and reduce the risk of weight gain after menopause, a proper diet regimen combined with exercise is the answer. Exercise increases the metabolism, which allows you to burn fat. In addition, strength training exercises increase muscle mass, which not only boost your metabolism but strengthens your bones as well. Anyone who is on a diet and exercise program knows this to be true.
We all have to deal with the changes in our bodies; there is no escaping that fact. The ugly truth is as we get older; parts of our body will sag; shrink, and expand. Perhaps the trick is to not worry about what you can’t control, but to control the things you can.
One more thing…..my doctor said during menopause I could even lose my desire for sex. Loss of libido is what she called it. Well, I don’t know about you, but I sure hope it doesn’t happen to me because I’d hate to think I wasted the best years of my sex life on my ex!
Portions of this blog are a part of my book "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age. It is available on Amazon.com
Weight gain and hot flashes were my introduction into the world of menopause. As soon as I knew what I was experiencing had a name attached to it other than “lunatic”, I started doing research because I wanted to know more about what I could expect physically and even mentally. I discovered weight gain begins primarily during perimenopause. It is estimated that a woman may gain a pound a year during this time.
It is believed that hormone levels associated with menopause are not the sole cause of weight gain. However, aging and lifestyle does play a major role in how your body changes over the course of time. The reasons are that menopausal women tend to exercise less; eat more; and burn fewer calories. The result is a shift in the composition of your body which results in more fat and less muscle as your metabolism slows down. It is no surprise that genetics most definitely contribute to weight gain. If your parents are on the heavy side, chances are you or one of your siblings will inherit that particular body type as well.
While we all know that weight gain can cause health problems, excess weight gain during menopause increases the chance of developing serious conditions. Studies have shown that women who gain in excess of 20 pounds after menopause increase their breast cancer risk by nearly 20 percent. On the other hand, women who lose weight after menopause can reduce their risk of breast cancer by that much and more. It is estimated that women who lose 20 pounds after menopause reduce their breast cancer risk by as much as 23 percent.
In order to maintain a healthy body and reduce the risk of weight gain after menopause, a proper diet regimen combined with exercise is the answer. Exercise increases the metabolism, which allows you to burn fat. In addition, strength training exercises increase muscle mass, which not only boost your metabolism but strengthens your bones as well. Anyone who is on a diet and exercise program knows this to be true.
We all have to deal with the changes in our bodies; there is no escaping that fact. The ugly truth is as we get older; parts of our body will sag; shrink, and expand. Perhaps the trick is to not worry about what you can’t control, but to control the things you can.
One more thing…..my doctor said during menopause I could even lose my desire for sex. Loss of libido is what she called it. Well, I don’t know about you, but I sure hope it doesn’t happen to me because I’d hate to think I wasted the best years of my sex life on my ex!
Portions of this blog are a part of my book "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age. It is available on Amazon.com
Friday, February 16, 2007
Ten Tips to Help You Live to be Drama Free at Midlife
10. Write a list of goals you'd like to achieve. Focus on what you know you can do well. Don’t try to be a “jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none.
9. Say “no” instead of “yes”. I had to learn this one. You can’t be all things to all people so instead of trying to please everybody—just do what you know you can do and forget about the rest. The worst mistake you can make is to say “yes” and then fail to do what you promised because you’ve said yes once too often.
8. Stop being a slave to communication tools. How many phones do you really need in order to communicate? Do you really need a home phone, a cellular phone, pager, fax, e-mail and internet ICQ technology?
7. Stop spending time to save money. Instead, spend money to save time. Don't drive across town to save a few cents on a grocery item. It's not worth your time.
6. Cancel subscriptions to magazines you never get around to reading. How many magazines do you have cluttering up your house?
5. Cut back on television time. When you’re sitting glued to the television, chances are more likely that you’re going to snack on junk food. And where does junk food go? Straight to your stomach, hips and thighs! Instead, go for a walk and get some fresh air. Then you come back, take a shower and relax or find some other things to occupy your time.
4. Clean out your garage or your home-based office. If you're not using something, get rid of it. Have a yard sale and make some extra money. Remember, one person’s junk is someone else’s treasure.
3. You don’t need to be a member of every organization. How many groups do you belong to that aren’t contributing to your personal or professional growth? You say “Oh, but they need me.” No, they don’t. There are others who can do what you do—maybe even better. Join a maximum of two groups. One for professional; the other for pleasure or social.
2. Simplify your financial world. For instance, set up automatic bill payments. Include your automatic savings plan as part of your monthly spending. That’s one less headache you’ll have every month.
1. Give yourself some ME time! Plan to spend more time doing things you like to do. Ladies: Get your hair and nails done. Get a pedicure. Go out with girlfriends and share a laugh or two over hot flashes and mood swings. You’ll feel much better after that.
Beverly Mahone writes about issues affecting baby boomers in her book "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age." For more articles, visit her website at www.talk2bev.com
Click here to get your own player.
9. Say “no” instead of “yes”. I had to learn this one. You can’t be all things to all people so instead of trying to please everybody—just do what you know you can do and forget about the rest. The worst mistake you can make is to say “yes” and then fail to do what you promised because you’ve said yes once too often.
8. Stop being a slave to communication tools. How many phones do you really need in order to communicate? Do you really need a home phone, a cellular phone, pager, fax, e-mail and internet ICQ technology?
7. Stop spending time to save money. Instead, spend money to save time. Don't drive across town to save a few cents on a grocery item. It's not worth your time.
6. Cancel subscriptions to magazines you never get around to reading. How many magazines do you have cluttering up your house?
5. Cut back on television time. When you’re sitting glued to the television, chances are more likely that you’re going to snack on junk food. And where does junk food go? Straight to your stomach, hips and thighs! Instead, go for a walk and get some fresh air. Then you come back, take a shower and relax or find some other things to occupy your time.
4. Clean out your garage or your home-based office. If you're not using something, get rid of it. Have a yard sale and make some extra money. Remember, one person’s junk is someone else’s treasure.
3. You don’t need to be a member of every organization. How many groups do you belong to that aren’t contributing to your personal or professional growth? You say “Oh, but they need me.” No, they don’t. There are others who can do what you do—maybe even better. Join a maximum of two groups. One for professional; the other for pleasure or social.
2. Simplify your financial world. For instance, set up automatic bill payments. Include your automatic savings plan as part of your monthly spending. That’s one less headache you’ll have every month.
1. Give yourself some ME time! Plan to spend more time doing things you like to do. Ladies: Get your hair and nails done. Get a pedicure. Go out with girlfriends and share a laugh or two over hot flashes and mood swings. You’ll feel much better after that.
Beverly Mahone writes about issues affecting baby boomers in her book "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age." For more articles, visit her website at www.talk2bev.com
Click here to get your own player.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Baby Boomer Love on Valentine's Day
Out of nearly 400 entries, an essay written by an American wife, mother and grandmother living in Germany, came out on top. The contest was sponsored by Baby Boomer Author Beverly Mahone (Talk2bev.com) and Fabulously40.com. The grand prize winner receives a 3-day, 2-night mini vacation package to one of 26 destinations in the U.S.
"After thirty-two years of marriage, my hubby is still romantic. He doesn’t need to wait for Valentine’s Day to light candles, bring home flowers, cook elaborate dinners or give me a massage…" is how contest winner Angelika Schwarz begins her winning essay. She was one of nearly 400 baby boomer women who submitted entries for the first-of-a-kind contest.
In 250 words or less, baby boomer women were invited to write an essay on what advice they would give baby boomer men to help them prepare for an "exceptionally romantic" Valentine’s Day with their mates. The judges selected for this contest were five baby boomer men who were selected at random by Talks2Bev organizer and baby boomer expert, Beverly Mahone. "I thought it would be a great idea to have middle aged men read what middle aged women are thinking about when it comes to romance," says Ms. Mahone.
After all of the initial entries were read, the field was narrowed down to a total of 11 finalists. Author Debra-Shiveley Welch from Ohio, Author Linda J. Alexander Maryland, Writers Diane Tegarden and Dana Hall California and Nita Lopez of Washington State, Gospel Recording Artist Jenniefer Evans and Author Jaisun McMillian of North Carolina and Poet Eve Hall of Georgia. But in the end, the winning essay came from Angelika Schwarz, a native of Boston, who now makes her home in Germany. Her description of her husband wooed the judges:
"I see in the shadows of the night, his silhouette bending over our grandchild’s crib, as he sings in deep whispered tones an old German lullaby.
Watching him laugh with his sons, till tears of merriment roll down his cheeks.
I see the flicker of admiration and love in his eyes when I just happen to look up at him. I feel the warm palm of his hand, as he lays it on the small of my back as we cross a street."
In addition to Fabulously40.com, other sponsors for the contest were Sonshine Travel, Midlifeheroine.com, Business Resources Podcast Directory, HealthierOutcomes.com, OlderWiserWomen.org, Veriuni All Natural Products, My Little Taste of Italy, The Secrets of Prosperity with Kim Emerson, WECAI Network, Healthy Women’s Network, Gano Excel Coffee & Tally Green.
To view the winners and their essays Ms. Mahone invites you to visit her website at: http://www.talk2bev.com and she laughs and says "Purchase a copy of my book while you’re there!"
"After thirty-two years of marriage, my hubby is still romantic. He doesn’t need to wait for Valentine’s Day to light candles, bring home flowers, cook elaborate dinners or give me a massage…" is how contest winner Angelika Schwarz begins her winning essay. She was one of nearly 400 baby boomer women who submitted entries for the first-of-a-kind contest.
In 250 words or less, baby boomer women were invited to write an essay on what advice they would give baby boomer men to help them prepare for an "exceptionally romantic" Valentine’s Day with their mates. The judges selected for this contest were five baby boomer men who were selected at random by Talks2Bev organizer and baby boomer expert, Beverly Mahone. "I thought it would be a great idea to have middle aged men read what middle aged women are thinking about when it comes to romance," says Ms. Mahone.
After all of the initial entries were read, the field was narrowed down to a total of 11 finalists. Author Debra-Shiveley Welch from Ohio, Author Linda J. Alexander Maryland, Writers Diane Tegarden and Dana Hall California and Nita Lopez of Washington State, Gospel Recording Artist Jenniefer Evans and Author Jaisun McMillian of North Carolina and Poet Eve Hall of Georgia. But in the end, the winning essay came from Angelika Schwarz, a native of Boston, who now makes her home in Germany. Her description of her husband wooed the judges:
"I see in the shadows of the night, his silhouette bending over our grandchild’s crib, as he sings in deep whispered tones an old German lullaby.
Watching him laugh with his sons, till tears of merriment roll down his cheeks.
I see the flicker of admiration and love in his eyes when I just happen to look up at him. I feel the warm palm of his hand, as he lays it on the small of my back as we cross a street."
In addition to Fabulously40.com, other sponsors for the contest were Sonshine Travel, Midlifeheroine.com, Business Resources Podcast Directory, HealthierOutcomes.com, OlderWiserWomen.org, Veriuni All Natural Products, My Little Taste of Italy, The Secrets of Prosperity with Kim Emerson, WECAI Network, Healthy Women’s Network, Gano Excel Coffee & Tally Green.
To view the winners and their essays Ms. Mahone invites you to visit her website at: http://www.talk2bev.com and she laughs and says "Purchase a copy of my book while you’re there!"
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Spice Up Your Romance this Valentine' Day!
Year after year as Valentine’s Day approaches, I hear my middle-aged girlfriends complain about how the spark has gone out of their relationships with the "man of their dreams." They tell me he isn't attentive anymore or he works long hours and then comes home too tired or they even suspect there might be a little "foul play" going on with another woman--and a YOUNGER one at that.
Well, my dear sisters make this Valentine’s Day the day you turn up the heat in the romance department.
Do you know why some older men are sexually attractive to younger women? Because they are adventurous! They have an experimental attitude and don't mind doing what it takes to please their partner.
We were once like that, remember? Well, maybe I should just speak for myself but I recall the days when I couldn't get enough pleasure from my man and he was more than willing to oblige. Has growing older made us become prudish all of a sudden or did we not realize the man we married had an over-active sex drive?
Just because we age doesn't mean the romantic flames have to die does it? The first thing you must ask yourself, honestly, is what did you do to kill the romance if it's gone. If you can honestly say it's not your fault then you need to do a reality check on exactly why you chose the person you're with and if it wasn't for romance, then you shouldn't be complaining at this stage of the game.
There ways to help keep that romance and magic alive. Here are some suggestions that work for this middle aged happily-married woman:
Establish a secret word or a secret phrase between the two of you and decide that every time you say the word, you will share a passionate kiss or a gentle touch. The word might be one that holds a special meaning for the two of you or maybe choose a word that is sexy.
Turn your dinner into a romantic dining experience. It has been said that it is "mood, not food that sets a romantic scene." You don’t need to spend a lot of money for this one. Whether you’re cooking a meal or ordering take out, put some fresh cut flowers in a vase, even if they come from your own yard, and then dim the lights, light some candles, pour some wine and enjoy the ambience. Or maybe even cuddle up on the couch together with some junk food and watch listen to some soft, soothing music.
Speaking of music, why not get up close and personal by dancing cheek-to-cheek with your bodies touching ever so closely? You don’t have to go out for a night on the town to do this. Put on some Luther Vandross or Barry White and let the romance begin—in the kitchen, living room or bedroom. Dancing helps to keep romance alive and it is fun and a way for couples to positively connect with one another.
Touch and kiss each other at every opportunity and this includes those non-sexual moments. Kissing and touching isn’t always about foreplay before sex takes place. And make those kisses passionate! Pecks on the cheek are for children and not for mature lovers.
Try reading sexy literature to each other in bed or when you are cuddled up together on the couch. Take turns being the narrator and if asked to re-read a particularly erotic scene, do so willingly. Fiction can be very romantic if you choose the right books to read. Both the reading and the listening can be very romantic for both parties. Try wearing some alluring lingerie while you read and then listen and stroke your mate as you listen to the sound of his sexy voice as he reads steamy fiction to you in the dark or by candlelight.
Scent is very romantic so wear some of his favorite perfume and spritz a touch of your favorite aromatherapy on your pillow to set the lovemaking mood. Don't be afraid to try something different. Role playing can be very enticing and a lot of fun!
I, personally, love it when my husband writes me a romantic letter because I know it came straight from his heart.
Most importantly, don't be afraid to communicate your desires and try to be as open-minded as you were back then. But don't be afraid to let him know what you don't like. He shouldn't be offended if he wants to please you.
Make this Valentine’s Day be one of fun, fantasy and fulfillment! You may discover, just as I have, that he makes you "hotter" than a "hot flash!"
Beverly Mahone is a veteran journalist and author of the book, “Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age. For more information, visit her website at http://www.talk2bev.com
Well, my dear sisters make this Valentine’s Day the day you turn up the heat in the romance department.
Do you know why some older men are sexually attractive to younger women? Because they are adventurous! They have an experimental attitude and don't mind doing what it takes to please their partner.
We were once like that, remember? Well, maybe I should just speak for myself but I recall the days when I couldn't get enough pleasure from my man and he was more than willing to oblige. Has growing older made us become prudish all of a sudden or did we not realize the man we married had an over-active sex drive?
Just because we age doesn't mean the romantic flames have to die does it? The first thing you must ask yourself, honestly, is what did you do to kill the romance if it's gone. If you can honestly say it's not your fault then you need to do a reality check on exactly why you chose the person you're with and if it wasn't for romance, then you shouldn't be complaining at this stage of the game.
There ways to help keep that romance and magic alive. Here are some suggestions that work for this middle aged happily-married woman:
Establish a secret word or a secret phrase between the two of you and decide that every time you say the word, you will share a passionate kiss or a gentle touch. The word might be one that holds a special meaning for the two of you or maybe choose a word that is sexy.
Turn your dinner into a romantic dining experience. It has been said that it is "mood, not food that sets a romantic scene." You don’t need to spend a lot of money for this one. Whether you’re cooking a meal or ordering take out, put some fresh cut flowers in a vase, even if they come from your own yard, and then dim the lights, light some candles, pour some wine and enjoy the ambience. Or maybe even cuddle up on the couch together with some junk food and watch listen to some soft, soothing music.
Speaking of music, why not get up close and personal by dancing cheek-to-cheek with your bodies touching ever so closely? You don’t have to go out for a night on the town to do this. Put on some Luther Vandross or Barry White and let the romance begin—in the kitchen, living room or bedroom. Dancing helps to keep romance alive and it is fun and a way for couples to positively connect with one another.
Touch and kiss each other at every opportunity and this includes those non-sexual moments. Kissing and touching isn’t always about foreplay before sex takes place. And make those kisses passionate! Pecks on the cheek are for children and not for mature lovers.
Try reading sexy literature to each other in bed or when you are cuddled up together on the couch. Take turns being the narrator and if asked to re-read a particularly erotic scene, do so willingly. Fiction can be very romantic if you choose the right books to read. Both the reading and the listening can be very romantic for both parties. Try wearing some alluring lingerie while you read and then listen and stroke your mate as you listen to the sound of his sexy voice as he reads steamy fiction to you in the dark or by candlelight.
Scent is very romantic so wear some of his favorite perfume and spritz a touch of your favorite aromatherapy on your pillow to set the lovemaking mood. Don't be afraid to try something different. Role playing can be very enticing and a lot of fun!
I, personally, love it when my husband writes me a romantic letter because I know it came straight from his heart.
Most importantly, don't be afraid to communicate your desires and try to be as open-minded as you were back then. But don't be afraid to let him know what you don't like. He shouldn't be offended if he wants to please you.
Make this Valentine’s Day be one of fun, fantasy and fulfillment! You may discover, just as I have, that he makes you "hotter" than a "hot flash!"
Beverly Mahone is a veteran journalist and author of the book, “Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age. For more information, visit her website at http://www.talk2bev.com
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