I never knew why we called my grandmother "Big Mama" because, physically, she was one of the tiniest women I had ever known. But based on the stories my dad (her son) used to tell, she earned the name!
Big Mama was born Samantha McCaston in Macon County, Alabama on June 2, 1883. I don't know the exact birthplace, but she raised her six children in a town called Notasulga. She was 43 years old when she had her last child---my dad. The street they lived on was nothing more than a dirt road with a little white church at the top of the hill.
I used to hate going to visit there because Big Mama was very strict. I was never allowed to wear anything above the knee so shorts were definitely a no-no. Can you imagine being in Alabama on the hottest of days and only being allowed to wear dresses? And the dresses couldn't be sleeveless. She always said she didn't want to "no white man the wrong idea." Of course, as a child I had no clue as to what that meant so I just did what she said. I always remember her sitting on her porch in a white rocking chair with "Miss Anna" and a jar of snuff.
As I reflect back on my experience with Big Mama, I have to say I admired her for a number of reasons. She ended up having to raise six children by herself. My grandfather was already dead by the time I was born and no one really wanted to talk about what happened. I have reason to believe he was a part of the Tuskegee Experiment they did back in the 30's but I've never been able to prove it. In addition to raising her children alone, she tended her large farm land and was always very particular about her vegetables. Every Sunday she would walk to the little white church on the hill and get her praise on.
All of my aunts, my uncle and my dad were fabulous cooks. I believe if my dad had never married he would've done just fine on his own because he not only knew how to cook (better than my mother) but he also ironed, washed clothes and maintained a very clean home. He always said Big Mama told them she wanted them to be able to make it on their own and she taught them how. My dad even had a garden in our back yard for many years.
Although Big Mama wasn't born into slavery, I don't think she ever fully realized what it meant to live in a "free society." Even though the Emancipation Proclamation was established in 1863, the Jim Crow "Separate but Equal" laws were the norm---especially in the South so my Big Mama just stayed in her own little space.
Big Mama lived to be 101. She outlived three of her children including my dad, who died of heart failure two years earlier. The last time I went to visit her was right after I graduated from high school. By then she was pretty frail and didn't recognize anyone.
It's funny how when we are kids we don't see the relevance of talking to our seniors but they have so much history to share. Sometimes I wish I had spent more time with Big Mama to learn more about her struggles. I wish I had kept one of her handmade quilts she used to send us every Christmas. All I have now are memories. Memories of a woman who made a difference in my life in more ways than she will ever know.
***In honor of Women's History Month, I am sponsoring a contest. To enter, you must be a subscriber to my Newsletter. http://www.talk2bev.com
Also, Join women around the globe making history during Virtual Woman’s Day™
Thursday, March 15, 2007 – http://www.virtualwomansday.com ***
Monday, March 05, 2007
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Women on the Move & Making History
One of the beautfiul things about growing into middle age is I have gained the benefit of wisdom. It's like a light bulb went off in my head around 40 and all of a sudden I was ready to stand up and take charge of my life and to make a difference.
I am proud to be a middle-aged woman because I've seen enough and done enough over the course of my life to now prepare to pave the way for future generations. We, as middle-aged women, have made quite an impact on the way our world is shaped today. We’ve come a long way, but there’s still a lot of ground to cover.
As you are aware, March is Women's History Month. I am dedicating the month by profiling women who have made a difference in my life. You're welcome to read my blogs starting Monday. I also invite you to post your own memorable women and you may add them to my blog---if you like. I'm actually starting with my grandmother--who lived to be 101.
In addition, I am sponsoring a "Women on the Move and Making History" Contest, where one lucky winner will receive $75 for guessing the correct answers. Another winner will receive $25. The questions won't be easy but I'll be offering a hint :)
THERE IS A CATCH......
You must be a subscriber to my Live to Be Drama Free Newsletter because only the subscribers will be eligible to enter this contest. You can subscribe by going to my website:
http://www.talk2bev.com
Thanks for your continued support!
I am proud to be a middle-aged woman because I've seen enough and done enough over the course of my life to now prepare to pave the way for future generations. We, as middle-aged women, have made quite an impact on the way our world is shaped today. We’ve come a long way, but there’s still a lot of ground to cover.
As you are aware, March is Women's History Month. I am dedicating the month by profiling women who have made a difference in my life. You're welcome to read my blogs starting Monday. I also invite you to post your own memorable women and you may add them to my blog---if you like. I'm actually starting with my grandmother--who lived to be 101.
In addition, I am sponsoring a "Women on the Move and Making History" Contest, where one lucky winner will receive $75 for guessing the correct answers. Another winner will receive $25. The questions won't be easy but I'll be offering a hint :)
THERE IS A CATCH......
You must be a subscriber to my Live to Be Drama Free Newsletter because only the subscribers will be eligible to enter this contest. You can subscribe by going to my website:
http://www.talk2bev.com
Thanks for your continued support!
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Don't Make Menopause an Excuse for Being Fat
As women approach menopause, weight gain is one issue that becomes a primary concern for many. If you've had a weight problem before, you may find it harder to lose the additional weight. If you've been able to maintain your weight over the years, you many now find you have to work much harder to keep the pounds off. Therefore, menopause and nutrition go hand in hand, so don't make menopause an excuse for being overweight.
While there are some experts who claim that the fluctuation in a woman’s hormone level is the cause for weight gain, others believe it is due to an increase in age and the decrease in muscle mass and metabolism. Who can really say? The key to keeping the weight off, in any stage of a woman’s life, is through a combination of diet and exercise; and should commence during the perimenopausal stage.
It is important to consume foods low in fat, saturated fat, and cholesterol and it is also recommended that the fat intake should be less than 30 percent of your daily calorie intake. Eat fruits, vegetables, and whole grain cereal products, especially those high in vitamin C and beta carotene. Persons of all ages should consume 20 to 30 grams of fiber daily. Avoid foods and drinks with processed sugar, as many of these products contain empty calories and promote weight gain. Avoid salt-cured foods, which would eliminate pork from your diet. That means giving up ham, bacon, hot dogs, etc. These foods are high in sodium, which can lead to high blood pressure, which is a serious risk for aging women. White bread is also another no-no as it contains starch, which provides no nutritional value.
Regular exercise not only benefits the heart and bones and helps regulate weight, but can elevate one’s mood and create a sense of balance within. Conversely, women who are physically inactive are more likely to suffer from coronary heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, and osteoporosis.
While dieting and good nutrition habits are important when we are young, it has become a vital component of good health when we reach menopause. Although it may seem the cycle never ends, maintaining a proper diet is necessary to enjoy this particular time in your life. If you have never had the desire to exercise before, now would be a good time to begin. If you incorporate a healthy diet and exercise into your daily life, there should never be a reason to blame menopause as an excuse for being fat.
Beverly Mahone is the author of "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age." She recently appeared as a baby boomer expert on MSNBC-TV.
While there are some experts who claim that the fluctuation in a woman’s hormone level is the cause for weight gain, others believe it is due to an increase in age and the decrease in muscle mass and metabolism. Who can really say? The key to keeping the weight off, in any stage of a woman’s life, is through a combination of diet and exercise; and should commence during the perimenopausal stage.
It is important to consume foods low in fat, saturated fat, and cholesterol and it is also recommended that the fat intake should be less than 30 percent of your daily calorie intake. Eat fruits, vegetables, and whole grain cereal products, especially those high in vitamin C and beta carotene. Persons of all ages should consume 20 to 30 grams of fiber daily. Avoid foods and drinks with processed sugar, as many of these products contain empty calories and promote weight gain. Avoid salt-cured foods, which would eliminate pork from your diet. That means giving up ham, bacon, hot dogs, etc. These foods are high in sodium, which can lead to high blood pressure, which is a serious risk for aging women. White bread is also another no-no as it contains starch, which provides no nutritional value.
Regular exercise not only benefits the heart and bones and helps regulate weight, but can elevate one’s mood and create a sense of balance within. Conversely, women who are physically inactive are more likely to suffer from coronary heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, and osteoporosis.
While dieting and good nutrition habits are important when we are young, it has become a vital component of good health when we reach menopause. Although it may seem the cycle never ends, maintaining a proper diet is necessary to enjoy this particular time in your life. If you have never had the desire to exercise before, now would be a good time to begin. If you incorporate a healthy diet and exercise into your daily life, there should never be a reason to blame menopause as an excuse for being fat.
Beverly Mahone is the author of "Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age." She recently appeared as a baby boomer expert on MSNBC-TV.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Breaking the Silence: It's not our Mother's Menopause
We drive the ones we love away from us because we are unwilling to share what’s going on with us mentally and physically. Why can’t we tell them when we hurt? Not in an angry tone but in a loving, “do you understand, please help me” tone?”
Some degree of menopause anxiety is to be expected given the dramatic changes a woman goes through during this significant life event. But for some women the symptoms are so severe that they affect their daily activities and relationships.
If you are beginning perimenopause or if you are actually going through menopause and dealing with an anxiety problem, there are things you can do to make menopause anxiety symptoms less troublesome.
Talk to your doctor about the menopause anxiety treatment methods that are best for you. Remember that you do not have to allow menopause anxiety to turn your life upside down. Get some professional advice and discover the joy of being yourself again.
Talk to your spouse and help him understand what is going on with your body as well as the emotional mood swings you experience. He can't help you if he doesn't know what's going on.
Remember, this is not our mother's menopause. There's no need to be silent anymore."
Some degree of menopause anxiety is to be expected given the dramatic changes a woman goes through during this significant life event. But for some women the symptoms are so severe that they affect their daily activities and relationships.
If you are beginning perimenopause or if you are actually going through menopause and dealing with an anxiety problem, there are things you can do to make menopause anxiety symptoms less troublesome.
Talk to your doctor about the menopause anxiety treatment methods that are best for you. Remember that you do not have to allow menopause anxiety to turn your life upside down. Get some professional advice and discover the joy of being yourself again.
Talk to your spouse and help him understand what is going on with your body as well as the emotional mood swings you experience. He can't help you if he doesn't know what's going on.
Remember, this is not our mother's menopause. There's no need to be silent anymore."
Monday, February 26, 2007
Dancing with Towels on our Heads
The other day I was driving home after picking up my daughter from her school bus stop and all of a sudden an "oldie but goodie" came on the radio.
"Ooh, baby, baby
Where did our love go?
Ooh, don't you want me
Don't you want me no more…"
If you're a baby boomer you know the song made famous by the Supremes. Immediately the song took me back to my childhood and the days when my next door neighbors and I would imitate Diana, Mary and Flo in the middle of our street. Of course, I was always Diana because I was the oldest and just knew I could sing and Loretta and Lynetta were my background vocals.
I don't know if this is an ethnic thing or not, but when we did our thing we had to have towels on our heads. That was to simulate our long flowing hair because you had to have long flowing hair as a singer. Our hair was always in braids and we wouldn't dare take those braids loose for fear of the pain of having them re-braided and the pain we would feel on our behinds for doing something we weren't supposed to.
As I continued to drive, I turned up the radio a little louder (the very thing I tell my daughter NOT to do) and I wailed my heart out—remembering a time and place where it was so much fun to be a little girl who dreamed of being a "Supreme."
I would imagine many little girls got together and imitated The Supremes.
"Ooh, baby, baby
Where did our love go?
Ooh, don't you want me
Don't you want me no more…"
If you're a baby boomer you know the song made famous by the Supremes. Immediately the song took me back to my childhood and the days when my next door neighbors and I would imitate Diana, Mary and Flo in the middle of our street. Of course, I was always Diana because I was the oldest and just knew I could sing and Loretta and Lynetta were my background vocals.
I don't know if this is an ethnic thing or not, but when we did our thing we had to have towels on our heads. That was to simulate our long flowing hair because you had to have long flowing hair as a singer. Our hair was always in braids and we wouldn't dare take those braids loose for fear of the pain of having them re-braided and the pain we would feel on our behinds for doing something we weren't supposed to.
As I continued to drive, I turned up the radio a little louder (the very thing I tell my daughter NOT to do) and I wailed my heart out—remembering a time and place where it was so much fun to be a little girl who dreamed of being a "Supreme."
I would imagine many little girls got together and imitated The Supremes.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...Yes, I'm the Fairest One of All!
When I was in my twenties, I was so busy living for the moment that I never had time to think about tomorrow. I was in the beginning of what was expected to be a big time television news career. I had a body that turned heads and a burst of energy for my very active lifestyle. I was what you would call a Diva.
In my thirties, I started taking life more seriously. I was focused on a lifetime of happiness with my husband and daughter while working hard to develop my career. I was determined not to let anything or anyone stand in my way.
Now I'm in my late 40s reflecting on the would've, should've, could've aspects of my life. What was supposed to be a big time television career resulted in a stressful, dead end job that just paid the bills. That lifetime of happiness with my husband ended abruptly in divorce court and I spent many frustrating days and nights trying to raise a child by myself.
To top it off, I'm now trying to cope with growing older in a world that caters to the young. It seems as though middle age sneaked up on me like a thief in the night and with it came changes for which I wasn't prepared.
These days when I look in the mirror, I see a woman I'm not sure I recognize. She has strands of gray hair and wrinkles in places easily seen. That drop dead gorgeous body has been replaced with some unattractive bulges and cellulite. These are just a few of the road signs pointing to my journey into middle age.
Growing older is a trip but not what I'd call a vacation. I certainly don't have that relaxed feeling you're supposed to get after some hot fun in the sun. These days I don't need any sun to get hot and I definitely wouldn't classify getting older as fun.
Friends contend you can slow down the aging process but I argue you can't stop it. So for all you women who think you'll look twenty-five forever, forget it!
All the plastic surgery in the world will not help. I don't care how many face lifts, botox shots or tummy tucks you receive, at some point in your life you will feel what it's like to grow older.
That’s the frame of mind I was in as I started writing. My book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age began as a journal of frustration that turned into a book of celebration. Throughout the pages I share the discoveries I’ve made about growing older. Yes, I’m getting older---but I’m also getting better. I’ve become so much more mature and confident in being who I am. These days, I’m connected spiritually to a Higher Power that helps me to soar to even greater heights.
OK, so I’ve put on a few extra pounds but it doesn’t change the person I am on the inside. I’m fabulous and bodacious, sassy and classy and as my daughter would say, “all that and a bag of chips!” And guess what else? I finally figured out the difference between LUST and LOVE.
Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age is for you if you or someone you know was born between 1946 and 1970.
It's for you if you can't figure out your mother's bizarre behavior or are trying to cope with your own emotional roller coaster.
Are you back on the dating scene after spending years believing you had found Mr. Right?
Do you have teenagers who think they know more than you do?
By no means do I claim to be an expert who has the remedy for what ails your middle age heart, body and soul. This book traces my personal into a world that is bringing about new challenges and forcing me to deal with my own mortality.
I know I can't turn back the hands of time so I just say WHATEVER!
You may find we have a great deal in common.
In my thirties, I started taking life more seriously. I was focused on a lifetime of happiness with my husband and daughter while working hard to develop my career. I was determined not to let anything or anyone stand in my way.
Now I'm in my late 40s reflecting on the would've, should've, could've aspects of my life. What was supposed to be a big time television career resulted in a stressful, dead end job that just paid the bills. That lifetime of happiness with my husband ended abruptly in divorce court and I spent many frustrating days and nights trying to raise a child by myself.
To top it off, I'm now trying to cope with growing older in a world that caters to the young. It seems as though middle age sneaked up on me like a thief in the night and with it came changes for which I wasn't prepared.
These days when I look in the mirror, I see a woman I'm not sure I recognize. She has strands of gray hair and wrinkles in places easily seen. That drop dead gorgeous body has been replaced with some unattractive bulges and cellulite. These are just a few of the road signs pointing to my journey into middle age.
Growing older is a trip but not what I'd call a vacation. I certainly don't have that relaxed feeling you're supposed to get after some hot fun in the sun. These days I don't need any sun to get hot and I definitely wouldn't classify getting older as fun.
Friends contend you can slow down the aging process but I argue you can't stop it. So for all you women who think you'll look twenty-five forever, forget it!
All the plastic surgery in the world will not help. I don't care how many face lifts, botox shots or tummy tucks you receive, at some point in your life you will feel what it's like to grow older.
That’s the frame of mind I was in as I started writing. My book, Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age began as a journal of frustration that turned into a book of celebration. Throughout the pages I share the discoveries I’ve made about growing older. Yes, I’m getting older---but I’m also getting better. I’ve become so much more mature and confident in being who I am. These days, I’m connected spiritually to a Higher Power that helps me to soar to even greater heights.
OK, so I’ve put on a few extra pounds but it doesn’t change the person I am on the inside. I’m fabulous and bodacious, sassy and classy and as my daughter would say, “all that and a bag of chips!” And guess what else? I finally figured out the difference between LUST and LOVE.
Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age is for you if you or someone you know was born between 1946 and 1970.
It's for you if you can't figure out your mother's bizarre behavior or are trying to cope with your own emotional roller coaster.
Are you back on the dating scene after spending years believing you had found Mr. Right?
Do you have teenagers who think they know more than you do?
By no means do I claim to be an expert who has the remedy for what ails your middle age heart, body and soul. This book traces my personal into a world that is bringing about new challenges and forcing me to deal with my own mortality.
I know I can't turn back the hands of time so I just say WHATEVER!
You may find we have a great deal in common.
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Passing the Torch from Baby Boomers to Millennials to Gen Z
Whether baby boomers can accept it or not, a changing of the guard has taken place with millennials and the up and coming Gen Z generations...
