I originally wrote much of this post in 2008, but it bears repeating with an UPDATE in light of Bristol's new found so-called celebrity status.
Let me start off by saying the one thing Bristol and my daughter share in common is the fact that they became teenage mothers.
Now the differences:
Family
Bristol comes from a white privileged family, where her mother had a high profile as Governor of Alaska and then became the Republican nominee for Vice-President of the United States. She has three sisters and one brother. Her father is in the home.
Janie comes from a middle class black family where her dad was absent more than he was around. She is an only child. Her mother is a journalist, who left Corporate America because her boss never respected her role as a working mom. (long, unappreciated hours and no opportunity for advancement)
Boyfriend
Bristol’s boyfriend is an 18 year old named Levi Johnson who described himself as an F----- redneck on his MySpace page before it was taken down. He also indicated he did not want children.
Janie’s boyfriend had a bright promising future as an actor or chef before he was murdered the day after Christmas for defending his little sister who was being harassed by a gang banger on a city bus.
Mother's Reaction to Pregnancy
Bristol has received very public support from her mother, who issued a statement saying her daughter was going to keep the baby and marry the baby’s daddy. The wedding date has yet to be announced. Sarah Palin is a staunch supporter of abstinence. How much she told her daughter about sex and having unprotected sex is unknown.
Janie hid her pregnancy for fear of how I would react and, rightfully, so. I was livid! Obviously, all those times I told her to keep her dress down and drawers up fell on deaf ears. I wanted my daughter to weigh all of her options because she had plans to go to college and we all know raising a child can seriously alter your plans.
Future
Bristol’s future remains unclear, although her mother has assured the public the family will stand by Bristol and offer their undying support. One thing we know for sure is she will be a mother in a few months and married to her boyfriend. THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
Janie, meanwhile, is raising her son alone with the love and support of family members on both sides. She is also out to prove the naysayers wrong by pursuing her college education. She is currently enrolled at North Carolina A&T, while grandma takes on the role of Ma.
UPDATE: While Bristol is dancing with the stars and getting strong support from the Tea Party, my daughter is working on her junior year in college and getting strong support from her mother and step father. Bristol is using her mother's new found fame to carve out a piece for herself.
My daughter, meanwhile, has repeatedly said she wants to make her own way in the world and not hang onto my coattails. I respect that but, of course, I will do everything in my power to assist her because she's not dancing her way BLINDLY through life.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Do You Hear What Your Child Hears?
Recently my husband and I were having a disagreement that escalated into a rather loud discussion. Our grandson, who was in the other room, came running in and told us to stop fighting. We wanted to assure him we weren't fighting--we were just talking loud.
At that moment, I started thinking about this four-year-old's interpretation of what he heard. To him, it sounded like we were fighting even though there was no physical violence involved. He equated fighting with talking loud.
I think sometimes we, as adults, tend to forget that our children are within earshot of we are saying. Or we think the children are too young to understand the content of the argument while neglecting to realize that it's the negative tone of the conversation that kids pick up on. Kids do as we do and not as we say, though we often wish the opposite was true. If they see us resolving disputes with petty arguing, they are going to learn the same tactic.
Psychologist Dr. Kenneth Condrell says when adults are constantly arguing at home, children may respond in the following ways. They may:
•take their anger out on other adults, such as teachers, and have behavior problems in school
•lose respect for their parents’ authority and stop listening to them
•become depressed with thoughts of running away or of suicide
•mistreat their brothers and sisters in ways that are nasty and cruel
We want our grandson to grow up in a happy and healthy environment so we have vowed not to raise our voices in front of him.
Said the little child to his (grand)parents...do you hear what I hear?
At that moment, I started thinking about this four-year-old's interpretation of what he heard. To him, it sounded like we were fighting even though there was no physical violence involved. He equated fighting with talking loud.
I think sometimes we, as adults, tend to forget that our children are within earshot of we are saying. Or we think the children are too young to understand the content of the argument while neglecting to realize that it's the negative tone of the conversation that kids pick up on. Kids do as we do and not as we say, though we often wish the opposite was true. If they see us resolving disputes with petty arguing, they are going to learn the same tactic.
Psychologist Dr. Kenneth Condrell says when adults are constantly arguing at home, children may respond in the following ways. They may:
•take their anger out on other adults, such as teachers, and have behavior problems in school
•lose respect for their parents’ authority and stop listening to them
•become depressed with thoughts of running away or of suicide
•mistreat their brothers and sisters in ways that are nasty and cruel
We want our grandson to grow up in a happy and healthy environment so we have vowed not to raise our voices in front of him.
Said the little child to his (grand)parents...do you hear what I hear?
Friday, November 12, 2010
Rewarding Parents for Bad Behavior
I've got a strong suspicion that the court system in Jackson, Mississippi is going to be rewarding some bad parents for their bad children. Three Murrah High School boys' basketball players have sued their coach and the school system over some spankings they say they endured during basketball practice.
The coach was actually caught on camera whipping one of the students. One parent said he sat in on a couple of basketball practices and watched as some of the students were getting hit---but because it wasn't his child--he didn't say anything at the time I guess.
In a written statement Coach Marlon Dorsey said,
I took it upon myself to save these young men from the destruction of self and what society has accepted and become silent to the issues our students are facing on a daily basis. I am deeply remorseful of my actions to help our students.
No doubt this coach probably saw these kids as incorrigible youth--the kind of students who will either not graduate, be unemployed, end up in a jail cell or six feet under. He just wanted to whip them into shape.
While I don't believe it's the coach's responsibility to take it upon himself to knock some sense into his students, I do understand his frustration. Some children are totally out of control. You can blame it on ADD, ADHD or whatever--but they seem to have no respect for education or the authority behind it.
That's where the parents come in. It is THEIR responsibility to crack the whip and they should've done that LONG AGO. That's probably why the situation at Murrah High School escalated to this point.
Some parents have totally neglected their responsibilities as parents. They're either more interested in becoming their child's friend or just not interested at all.
These bad parents and their children in Jackson will probably be rewarded a financial compensation---but when it's all said and done, they probably won't have learned a thing.
The coach was actually caught on camera whipping one of the students. One parent said he sat in on a couple of basketball practices and watched as some of the students were getting hit---but because it wasn't his child--he didn't say anything at the time I guess.
In a written statement Coach Marlon Dorsey said,
I took it upon myself to save these young men from the destruction of self and what society has accepted and become silent to the issues our students are facing on a daily basis. I am deeply remorseful of my actions to help our students.
No doubt this coach probably saw these kids as incorrigible youth--the kind of students who will either not graduate, be unemployed, end up in a jail cell or six feet under. He just wanted to whip them into shape.
While I don't believe it's the coach's responsibility to take it upon himself to knock some sense into his students, I do understand his frustration. Some children are totally out of control. You can blame it on ADD, ADHD or whatever--but they seem to have no respect for education or the authority behind it.
That's where the parents come in. It is THEIR responsibility to crack the whip and they should've done that LONG AGO. That's probably why the situation at Murrah High School escalated to this point.
Some parents have totally neglected their responsibilities as parents. They're either more interested in becoming their child's friend or just not interested at all.
These bad parents and their children in Jackson will probably be rewarded a financial compensation---but when it's all said and done, they probably won't have learned a thing.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Putting Your Business Reputation on the Line
Whether you realize it or not, your business can succeed or be ruined by social media. All it takes is one person to post a negative commnt or review about the way you do business and it can spread like wildfire.
Most people, however, choose to remain silent about their bad business experiences because it might be viewed as unethical or tacky or fear that people will not want to associate with you because you might also put them on BLAST at some point.
But here's the deal. MORE BUSINESS NEED TO BE EXPOSED FOR BAD BUSINESS PRACTICES. It is unfair for a potential customer or client to have to find out for themselves how bad a company is. This is especially important when conducting business online since the only information we may have about them is what they tell us on a website.
"Hey, let me tell you how you can make $1,000 of extra income a month like I'm doing" Sound familiar?
The problem is some of us tend to let people who don't give us the best customer service off the hook by vowing never to purchase or work with them again.
I'm not doing that. Here's my story about V and E Home Solutions out of Waldorf, MD.
V and E Home Solutions is a Property Management Company. My husband hired them to act as property manager for a home he owns in Upper Marlboro. Their job was to collect the tenant's rent and deposit it into my husband's business bank account, after taking out their fee.
For nearly two year things ran relatively smoothly but then the stink hit the fan last week. Along with a letter notifying us of a change of address, they sent a check from their own account to cover the tenant's rent for two months. We thought it was strange since they normally just make the deposit into this account and send us the deposit slip. A few days after depositing the check, my husband received a notice from the bank indicating the $3312 check had bounced and they tacked on $76 in NSF fees.
Next, my husband called the company several times to try to resolve the matter. He either got a voice mail or the answering service saying they would take a message.
We decided to drive to Maryland to meet with them in person. Since it was obvious they weren't going to respond to my husband's number, I decided to call from my own cell number and guess what? I got a real person and I talked to her. I told her we were on our way to the office and wanted to make sure someone was there so we could resolve this issue.
Four hours later, we arrived at the address given and, can you imagine our surprise when we discovered the new address they claimed they moved to was a UPS store?
We then called back. No answer.
We then drove to their old location and discovered their name was still listed as having an office there. We knocked but got no response.
It was obvious they were avoiding us. I made one more call and left a message advising them if we did not hear from them within 24 hours, the next person they would hear from was our attorney.
As we were driving back to North Carolina, I decided to try calling them again on another cell phone number they hadn't seen before--and guess what? Someone picked up the phone! She claimed she hadn't received any of the previous dozen messages but would be sure to give this message to her boss: Vadie Reese.
Has she called yet? As my mama used to say, "She probably will when hell freezes over!"
Most people, however, choose to remain silent about their bad business experiences because it might be viewed as unethical or tacky or fear that people will not want to associate with you because you might also put them on BLAST at some point.
But here's the deal. MORE BUSINESS NEED TO BE EXPOSED FOR BAD BUSINESS PRACTICES. It is unfair for a potential customer or client to have to find out for themselves how bad a company is. This is especially important when conducting business online since the only information we may have about them is what they tell us on a website.
"Hey, let me tell you how you can make $1,000 of extra income a month like I'm doing" Sound familiar?
The problem is some of us tend to let people who don't give us the best customer service off the hook by vowing never to purchase or work with them again.
I'm not doing that. Here's my story about V and E Home Solutions out of Waldorf, MD.
V and E Home Solutions is a Property Management Company. My husband hired them to act as property manager for a home he owns in Upper Marlboro. Their job was to collect the tenant's rent and deposit it into my husband's business bank account, after taking out their fee.
For nearly two year things ran relatively smoothly but then the stink hit the fan last week. Along with a letter notifying us of a change of address, they sent a check from their own account to cover the tenant's rent for two months. We thought it was strange since they normally just make the deposit into this account and send us the deposit slip. A few days after depositing the check, my husband received a notice from the bank indicating the $3312 check had bounced and they tacked on $76 in NSF fees.
Next, my husband called the company several times to try to resolve the matter. He either got a voice mail or the answering service saying they would take a message.
We decided to drive to Maryland to meet with them in person. Since it was obvious they weren't going to respond to my husband's number, I decided to call from my own cell number and guess what? I got a real person and I talked to her. I told her we were on our way to the office and wanted to make sure someone was there so we could resolve this issue.
Four hours later, we arrived at the address given and, can you imagine our surprise when we discovered the new address they claimed they moved to was a UPS store?
We then called back. No answer.
We then drove to their old location and discovered their name was still listed as having an office there. We knocked but got no response.
It was obvious they were avoiding us. I made one more call and left a message advising them if we did not hear from them within 24 hours, the next person they would hear from was our attorney.
As we were driving back to North Carolina, I decided to try calling them again on another cell phone number they hadn't seen before--and guess what? Someone picked up the phone! She claimed she hadn't received any of the previous dozen messages but would be sure to give this message to her boss: Vadie Reese.
Has she called yet? As my mama used to say, "She probably will when hell freezes over!"
Saturday, October 23, 2010
My Grandson Swallowed a Penny
Two nights ago, my grandson was lying in bed watching a movie when he came into our bedroom to make a confession. He didn't want to say it in front of me so he whispered his confession into grandpa Nate's ear.
He swallowed a penny.
Instead of enjoying his popcorn, he decided he wanted to see what it would be like to taste a penny. Since my daughter (his mother) never did this when she was a child, I wasn't quite sure what to do so I called the pediatrician on call and here's what she told me:
Don't worry, unless your child chokes on it, gets sick, complains of persistent abdominal pain, has trouble breathing, or gets a cough and can't shake it. A penny (or even a quarter) can easily pass through the digestive tract and will probably do so within 24-48 hours. If you check his stool, you will probably find it. If you see no evidence that it has passed within 48 hours, then you need to bring him in.
As a grandparent I am still learning new things about children and mighty grateful for the scripture that says, "this, too, shall pass." AMEN
He swallowed a penny.
Instead of enjoying his popcorn, he decided he wanted to see what it would be like to taste a penny. Since my daughter (his mother) never did this when she was a child, I wasn't quite sure what to do so I called the pediatrician on call and here's what she told me:
Don't worry, unless your child chokes on it, gets sick, complains of persistent abdominal pain, has trouble breathing, or gets a cough and can't shake it. A penny (or even a quarter) can easily pass through the digestive tract and will probably do so within 24-48 hours. If you check his stool, you will probably find it. If you see no evidence that it has passed within 48 hours, then you need to bring him in.
As a grandparent I am still learning new things about children and mighty grateful for the scripture that says, "this, too, shall pass." AMEN
Monday, October 04, 2010
Grandma Prepared to Take on the North Carolina School Board
Unless I do something within the next year, my grandson is going to have to spend another year in daycare--instead of heading off to kindergarten like he ought to be.
In 2007, a North Carolina state law was passed pushing the birthdate required to enter kindergarten up to August 31. It used to be October 16. My grandson's birthday in September 6.
I have been told I can get him tested at MY expense to see if he would qualify for an early entrance. My expense is the equivalent to several hundred dollars and he must have a passing rate in the 98 percentile. He must be able to read and do math.
So maybe that explain some issues involving some adults I know. They were let into kindergarten before their time.
The following is a list of states and cut-off dates for kindergarten. Your child, grandchild or some else's child you know may also be affected:
Alabama- September 1
Alaska- August 15
Arizona- September 1
Arkansas-September 15
British Columbia, Canada- December 31
California-December 3
Colorado- September 15
Connecticut-January 1
Florida-September 1
Georgia- September 1
Hawaii-December 31
Idaho- September 1
Illinois-September 1
Iowa- September 1 or 15
Kansas-August 31
Kentucky-October 1
Louisiana- September 30 (except Orleans Parish 12/31)
Maine-October 15
Maryland-Entering kindergartners must be 5 by Dec. 31
Massachusetts-September 1
Michigan-December 1
Minnesota-September 1
Mississippi-September 1
Missouri-AUGUST 1 (moved from July 1)
Montana-December 2
Nebraska-October 15
Nevada-September 30
New Hamshire-September 30
New Jersey-November 30
New Mexico
New York-November 30
North Carolina-AUGUST 31
North Dakota- December 2
Ohio-September 30
Oklahoma- September 1
Oregon-September 1
Pennsylvania (dates vary from district to district)
Rhode Island- Variable from September 1 to December 31
South Carolina- September 1
Texas-September 1
Utah-August 31
Vermont-dates vary from 9/1 to 1/1
Virginia-September 30
Washington- August 31
West Virginia- September 1
Wisconsin-September 1
Puerto Rico- September 1
In 2007, a North Carolina state law was passed pushing the birthdate required to enter kindergarten up to August 31. It used to be October 16. My grandson's birthday in September 6.
I have been told I can get him tested at MY expense to see if he would qualify for an early entrance. My expense is the equivalent to several hundred dollars and he must have a passing rate in the 98 percentile. He must be able to read and do math.
So maybe that explain some issues involving some adults I know. They were let into kindergarten before their time.
The following is a list of states and cut-off dates for kindergarten. Your child, grandchild or some else's child you know may also be affected:
Alabama- September 1
Alaska- August 15
Arizona- September 1
Arkansas-September 15
British Columbia, Canada- December 31
California-December 3
Colorado- September 15
Connecticut-January 1
Florida-September 1
Georgia- September 1
Hawaii-December 31
Idaho- September 1
Illinois-September 1
Iowa- September 1 or 15
Kansas-August 31
Kentucky-October 1
Louisiana- September 30 (except Orleans Parish 12/31)
Maine-October 15
Maryland-Entering kindergartners must be 5 by Dec. 31
Massachusetts-September 1
Michigan-December 1
Minnesota-September 1
Mississippi-September 1
Missouri-AUGUST 1 (moved from July 1)
Montana-December 2
Nebraska-October 15
Nevada-September 30
New Hamshire-September 30
New Jersey-November 30
New Mexico
New York-November 30
North Carolina-AUGUST 31
North Dakota- December 2
Ohio-September 30
Oklahoma- September 1
Oregon-September 1
Pennsylvania (dates vary from district to district)
Rhode Island- Variable from September 1 to December 31
South Carolina- September 1
Texas-September 1
Utah-August 31
Vermont-dates vary from 9/1 to 1/1
Virginia-September 30
Washington- August 31
West Virginia- September 1
Wisconsin-September 1
Puerto Rico- September 1
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Don't Read Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie IF
If you are looking for a book that's going to change your life, don't read Don't Ask And I Won't Have to Lie.
If you want to read a book that's going to inspire you to take action, Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie isn't for you.
If you think Don't Ask And I Won't Have to Lie is going to change your lying ways--think again.
Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie may not make you feel good about your life.
Here's the point: Not every book is designed to be a self-help, inspirational, motivational, take action kind of book. Some books are just designed to be enjoyable to read--an opportunity to get inside an author's head and compare your life notes. Some books are just meant to entertain, while others may have you nodding your head in agreement with some of what you read. That's what Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie is all about.
Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie started out as a personal account of a LIE I told that nearly cost me my life. I hope my story serves as a testimony for someone else--but also give you something to think about as you deal with your own truths and untruths.
One thing I will guarantee you is, there will be something in my book that will definitely make you THINK.
You can order a copy of my new book from Amazon.com or directly from my website:
Don't Ask
And there's a cool card game to go with it!
If you want to read a book that's going to inspire you to take action, Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie isn't for you.
If you think Don't Ask And I Won't Have to Lie is going to change your lying ways--think again.
Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie may not make you feel good about your life.
Here's the point: Not every book is designed to be a self-help, inspirational, motivational, take action kind of book. Some books are just designed to be enjoyable to read--an opportunity to get inside an author's head and compare your life notes. Some books are just meant to entertain, while others may have you nodding your head in agreement with some of what you read. That's what Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie is all about.
Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie started out as a personal account of a LIE I told that nearly cost me my life. I hope my story serves as a testimony for someone else--but also give you something to think about as you deal with your own truths and untruths.
One thing I will guarantee you is, there will be something in my book that will definitely make you THINK.
You can order a copy of my new book from Amazon.com or directly from my website:
Don't Ask
And there's a cool card game to go with it!
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Passing the Torch from Baby Boomers to Millennials to Gen Z
Whether baby boomers can accept it or not, a changing of the guard has taken place with millennials and the up and coming Gen Z generations...
