Holy Cow Batman Santa Claus is Black

When I was growing up, I always believed santa claus was a fat, old white man with a fake beard and a red suit because that's the only image I ever saw at the mall or on TV.

You can imagine my surprise when the Hayti Heritage Center announced it was bringing a black santa to Durham, NC for the first time ever. I had to see it for myself. But more importantly, I wanted by five-year-old grandson to see an image that looked more like him.

Last year, my grandson asked me if santa claus was going to bring him some presents. Without hesitation, I told him no and then proceeded to explain that his mom, grandparents, nana and papa and other family members are the ones who buy him gifts.

I didn't want my grandson to get it in his head that if he was good all year, some jolly old white man would come and bring him presents. It just didn't seem right.

Now I know someone reading this is going to think I'm being racist but I would argue the whole idea of promoting santa claus as white is racist. It's something that's been embedded in our minds for years with movies, TV specials and in practically every mall in America.

Just like I thought I'd never live to see the day we'd have a black President, I never thought I'd see a black santa claus on public display.

##!@Holy Freakin' Cow Batman!@#!!$@! KA-BOOM!

Grandma Learns Her Colors

I thought I knew my colors but obviously I didn't know them as well as I thought I did---until today. I received a valuable lesson at the grocery store about color-coding, which I thought was worth sharing.

While looking for bread, my grandson quickly noticed that the twists were different colors and he wanted me to explain why. I didn't have an answer but, fortunately, there was an employee standing nearby who was willing to share the information.

He said if you want to know how fresh the bread is in your grocery store, look at the tie that is holding the wrapper closed. Bread is delivered five days a week, Monday Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and the bread maker puts a different colored tie on to designate which day of the week the bread was baked:

Monday - Blue

Tuesday - Green

Thursday - Red

Friday - White

Saturday - Yellow

So, if you go to the grocery store on a Saturday, you should look for bread with the yellow twist or even the white twist since that was just delivered the day before. On the other hand, if you arbitrarily pick up bread with a blue twist on a Saturday, you can bet that bread has been sitting on the shelf for at least five days.

And to think, I've been color blind all these years.

Being a Grandma Blogger Has Privileges

Last week I received an email from a PR firm out of Chicago, which read:

"I wanted to invite you to be a part of an upcoming event in High Point. I’ve been reading your blog Baby Boomer Talk & Other Stuff and saw that you’ve been taking care of your grandson while your daughter is in school and thought this might be great fun for the both of you. On Saturday, Oct. 29 at YWCA High Point community members will team up with Humana, to build a multi-generational playground that will benefit children, adults and seniors.

For those of you who don't know, High Point is about 90 minutes from where I live and it's not a place I've ever visited so, while I was flattered for the invite and that she was reading my blog, I wasn't quite sure I wanted to make the trip.

But then she added a nugget: Former UNC Basketball Player Brendan Haywood would be there. I knew my grandson would get a kick out of meeting an NBA player up close and personal but it was even more special for me because I was acquainted with Brendan long before he went to the NBA. While a UNC student, he attended the same church as me and we always sat together in the balcony. I would affectionately call him "my son" and encourage him to not only to do well on the basketball court but to also shine in the classroom. I remember him being very quiet and respectful.

My grandson and I braved the cold temperatures and high-tailed it to High Point. Although Brendan was scheduled to leave by 11am, he was kind enough to wait for our arrival. He and my grandson participated in a video shoot for my TV show, while I watched as volunteers came together, despite the cold, rain and mud, to build the playground. Simply amazing!

Here's what I got out of that trip:

• I witnessed the true spirit of teamwork, in spite of the weather-related obstacles.
• People are really reading my blog and being influenced in some way by it.
• My grandson thinks I'm "the coolest."
• The pleasure of seeing Brendan again and seeing that success hasn't changed him. He's still quiet and respectful.

My Grandson the Medial Examiner

The other day as my grandson was getting dressed for school, he noticed I had the news on and the coverage was about the doctor accused of murdering Michael Jackson.

While I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth he comes in and announces he knows how Michael Jackson died.

"How?" I asked.

He replied, "Michael Jackson took some pills that made him white and that's why he died. He's supposed to be black like his brothers."

OK---so this is why we spent $500 to get him into kindergarten as an early entry so he could start practicing his medical examiner theories.

The mind of a kindergartener!

Why Aren't You Singing for Jesus in the Choir Grandma

Whenever we take my (now five-year-old) grandson to church, we can always expect him to say or do something that will either entertain or embarrass us. Today was no exception.

Shortly after we arrived, my grandson immediately peeled his eyes on the choir, looking for his godmother, who is a member. As we were listening to them sing, Jarod looked at me and said, "Grandma go sit with Tasha in the choir and sing." I told him I don't sing in the choir to which he responded, "Don't you think Jesus will be mad at you if you don't want to sing for him?" My response, "Jesus loves you know matter where you sing. It doesn't have to be in the choir. I can sing right where I am"

Of course, he had to have the last word: "Well, you're not singing very loud. I'm glad I sing in the choir because I know He can hear me there."

From Teenage Mom to Responsible Parent

Now that my daughter is back in college, I am wearing the primary caregiver hat for her son/my grandson.

It has been so amazing to see my once "I can't believe you got pregnant teenage daughter!" develop into a responsible, loving and nurturing mother.

Instead of using her summer to work full-time to save for college expenses, she chose to spend it preparing her four-year-old for a big test he would have to take as an "early entry" into kindergarten. (He missed the cutoff date by 6 days).

Everyday they went to the library--including Saturdays. She taught him to identify and spell more than 200 words, spell and write his name so it was legible, tell time and do math. Oh, did I tell you he had to learn to read?

Day in and day out, she challenged him and herself to accomplish the goal of scoring in the 98 percentile (what the state law REQUIRES in order to be admitted into kindergarten). It was frustrating at times---even for me and I was just an assistant teacher.

On Wednesday, August 31, my grandson will be a part of the 2011-2012 kindergarten class.

My daughter's hard work and tenacity paid BIG DIVIDENDS. Grandma is so proud!

Teaching Grandchildren Discipline

Discipline comes in many forms. Some parents believe in time out (which I don't personally think works). Others think taking a way a privilege gets the job done, while some maintain the traditional form of punishment: a good old-fashioned butt-whooping.

Even thought I'm an old school, old-fashioned grandma, I have discovered children don't need to be disciplined if they are taught self-discipline and they can be taught self-discipline through martial arts. There is no beating children into submission or rough-housing. Instead, it teaches children the skill of protecting themselves, along with self-control, humility and respect.

Self-discipline is what ALL children need as they grow and mature. It helps them take responsibility for the things they do. They begin to become aware of their responsibilities not because they are being reminded of them but because doing them is the right thing to do. They will understand for example, that household chores, homework, or even eating vegetables, should be done even if they are not pleasurable.

What do you think? Do you think kids don't need to be disciplined if they are taught self-discipline? How are you teaching your children and grandchildren discipline?

Who are My Forefathers?

I had an interesting conversation today at Costo's which prompted this blog post.

While waiting for my medication two older gentlemen were talking about the principals this country were founded upon and how we have lost sight of that with President Obama in the White House. I'm not sure what one had to do with the other but I kept listening.

One man said he thought the TRUE patriots were those who came from small towns---rural America---because as he put it, "They still believe and live by the values this country was founded upon." He said our forefathers laid out a roadmap by which we were to follow and we have totally strayed from it.

OK---that was my cue to jump in the conversation.

I asked him if he believed our forefathers held the best interests of everyone, in light of the fact that slavery existed and ALL of them owned slaves. He said our forefathers were lookin' out for the Coloreds because they were in a foreign land and needed guidance until they could get on their feet.  REALLY?!  So they could get on their feet and do what?  Get whipped to a pulp again for not obeying massah?

I thought I was being punked and Ashton Kutcher would come out at any moment.

I can't even tell you how stunned I was to hear his response and to think he truly believed that in his heart.

"Mahone-Gibbs. Your medication is ready."

THANK YOU JESUS!

So who were my forefathers again?

Your All-Time Favorite TV Boomer Dad

If you're like me, you more than likely grew up watching shows like Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, Courtship of Eddie's Father, etc.

This is a simple question: Who was your all-time favorite TV Dad?

Here's a few to choose from or, perhaps, you have one I didn't name:


Steve Douglas (My Three Sons)
Jim Anderson (Father Knows Best)
Jason Seavor (Growing Pains),
Tom Corbett (Courtship of Eddie's Father)
Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show),
Danny Williams (Danny Thomas Show)
Michael Keaton (Family Ties)
Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver)
Archie Bunker (All in the Family)
James Evans (Good Times)

Take the Training Wheels Off Grandma

This week we bought my grandson a new bicycle. He got his first bike when he was two-years-old. He had to grow into it---even with the training wheels.

When we gave him the new bike the first thing he said was "Take the training wheels off grandma!" Of course, my heart sank at the thought of this four-year-old trying to ride his new "big boy bike" with no training wheels. But he kept insisting so we gave in and, lo and behold, he started riding in no time.

The moral to this story: You block your goals when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.

Jarod proved that he had more faith than fear.

12 Life Lessons for the Grandson of an African American Baby Boomer

Professor Devin Robinson wrote a blog post where he lists 12 things he believes black men must do and be in their lifetime. I chose to post four things from his awesome list because it is my sincere hope that my four-year-old grandson will take the subjects on this list to heart and be the kind of man he is currently being raised to be.


12 Things a Black Man Must Do or Be in His Lifetime

4. Be compassionate towards women – Girls examine the relationship men have towards women. If that relationship is disrespectful and unhealthy, girls will grow up accepting this treatment and boys will expect these habits to be becoming of them when they become adults.

5. Seek knowledge – The worst thing a man can ever do is stop growing. Knowledge is the cornerstone to liberation and without it the Black population is doomed to repeat our past.

6. Teach others – Sharing wisdom is an important contribution towards reshaping the minds of the Black population. Remaining objective and approachable is also a “teaching” technique. You teach others how to learn when you set the example.

7. Have a strong spiritual foundation – Narcissism is a harmful psychological toxin. It makes us believe that we are the master of our destiny. Understanding that our purpose is already written and encourage others to understand this will make the Black body more mindful of our frivolous acts and necessary virtue.

*If you click on the "12 Things....." it will take you to the complete list.

When Your Best Isn't Good Enough

My four-year-old grandson is facing a dilemna that he is totally unaware of. Although he is READY for kindergarten, both emotionally and academically, he will not be permitted to attend next year because his birthdate falls past the cutoff date. The cutoff date is August 31---his birthday is September 6.

We were given three options:

1) Get tested for the Durham Public Schools Pre-Kindergarten Program
2) Get tested for early entrance in kindergarten
3) Return to daycare

On Wednesday, my grandson was tested by the Durham Public Schools Pre-K program. He scored in the 94 percentile. The tester told my daughter she was very impressed with his skills but was doubtful that he would be accepted because his score was TOO HIGH. He needed to score BELOW 60 percent. What in the %!#$%*!?! Are they serious?!

Option Two: In order to be tested for early entry into kindergarten, we must pay $500 to see if he will score in the 98 percentile. And if he doesn't pass, well, too bad--there's no refund.

Option Three: Return to daycare with two, three and four year olds. NOT A VIABLE OPTION!

My grandson proved this week that he deserves to be in kindergarten but because of some ridiclous North Carolina Board of Education Law, he may be held back because he will have to be on a first grade level in order to pass a test for kindergarten.

Sadly, the same system that is trying to promote academic excellence is also the same one that is holding kids back from being able to shine when they're ready.

So what happens when my grandson does finally enter kindergarten at 6 years old and is bored out of his mind because he already knows what 70 percent of his fellow classmates don't know? Will he then be considered a discipline problem?

How do you tell a child their best isn't good enough when you know in your heart, it really is?

Baby Boomers and the Easter Parade

Hey baby boomers, do you remember when you were little and how you got all dressed up to go to church on Easter Sunday? My church, like many others I'm sure, was known as Fashion Central with mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandmas, grandpas and others modeling their finest attire. It was a time in the history of the baby boomer generation where you could look pretty with nothing hanging out, too revealing or too short and a boy's pants certainly were halfway off his butt.

Now that I'm older, I no longer put on my easter bonnet for the Easter parade. That tradition has been passed down to my grandson who, by the way, doesn't just show up in church on Easter to showcase his style.

Do you have a favorite Easter memory? Please share it here and HAPPY EASTER!

Called to Serve on Jury Duty

Recently, I received notice in the mail that I have been summoned for jury duty. This is only the second time in my adult life that I have been called. The first time I was dismissed because I worked in television news.

Being summoned for jury duty has got me to thinking. Will I really be a juror of the "alleged" suspect's peers? Suspects are always told they will be tried by a jury of their peers. So does that mean I will be listening to the case of a fellow college-educated baby boomer who has committed some horrendous crime? A college-educated baby boomer between the ages of 50 and 60 is a description of what I would consider my "peer."

Instead, I will more than likely be subjected to hearing the case of some low life, young person who has a criminal record as long as my arm. It will likely be a child who didn't come from a stable home environment and had no real male role models in his life.

No, I definitely am not a peer but it certainly is frightening to think, as a grandmother, that it will be probably be somebody's grandson.

Grandchildren and Identity Theft

Mama needs a new car but she doesn't have enough money and her credit is bad. What does she do? She uses her child's social security number to establish herself a new line of credit. Sound far-fetched? Actually, it isn't.

Child identity theft is on the rise and it could affect your grandchild. According to Researcher Richard Power, children make perfect targets because they have no records and the crime usually isn't discovered until they become an adult.

Among the 4,311 children found to have distressed identity records, 300 were under five-years-old years old. Nearly 1,800 cases involved utility service records, such as bogus electricity service accounts. There were also 500 kids’ names attached to mortgages or foreclosures, and 415 of the kids had driver's licenses.

Among the more serious cases: a 16-year-old girl in Arizona with 33 credit accounts linked to her name, including three mortgages.

How does this happen? According to the report, the primary reasons for child identity theft are illegal immigration (e.g., to obtain false IDs for employment), organized crime (e.g., to engage in financial fraud) and friends and family (e.g., to circumvent bad credit ratings, etc.), the report says. And, more often than not, it is someone the child knows.

To learn more about how to protect your child or grandchild from identity theft, read this great article from CreditCards.com: Child ID Theft

Four Letter Words Aren't Always Bad

At some point every child hears and eventually says their first "four letter" word. That happened this evening at choir pratice.

My grandson and the other members of the Cherubs Choir were singing the song, "Hail Jesus You're My King" and when the music stopped, one little girl politely announced to the choir director that she wasn't allowed to sing the song because it had a bad word in it. To her, "hail" sounded like that other four-letter word we all know as h-e-l-l. At that point, the choir director proceeded to explain the difference and then thanked the parents for teaching children not to say those four-letter bad words.

No doubt, our children and grandchildren are going to be exposed to bad words at some point in their lives. We as parents and grandparents must explain to them that even though they may hear other people using profanity that we expect them to behave better than that and that it is not acceptable.

It is also important that your children never hear you use profanity. Our children learn most from the example we give them. If they hear you using "four letter" words it is only a matter of time until they start using them as well. After explaining that it is not acceptable for them to use profanity you need to go on to explain why. It will further reinforce that they should not be swearing once they understand that words can hurt people just like hitting or kicking.

This little girl did the right thing at choir rehearsal and we all are better for it.

Talking to Grandchildren About Death

My four-year-old grandson's father is dead. As a matter of fact, he never got to know his father because he was murdered prior to his birth.

Up until now, his mother and I have chosen not to discuss this tragedy but lately, this little boy's inquiring mind has been wanting to understand more about what life and death is all about.

Long before we realize it, children become aware of death. They see dead birds, insects, and animals lying by the road. They may see death at least once a day on television.

Meanwhile, we, as adults, do our best to shield our children from the sting of death. Many of us are inclined not to talk about things that upset us. We try to put a lid on our feelings and hope that saying nothing will be for the best. But not talking about something doesn't mean we aren't communicating. Children are great observers. They read messages on our faces. We express ourselves by what we do, by what we say, and by what we do not say.

Primary care physician Dr. Claire McCarthy says, "No matter the circumstances, teaching children about death is hard. We don’t want childhood to be sad, so we don’t like to talk about death."

In my grandson's case, I chose to tell him his dad has gone to be with Jesus. His response was "Can I go live with them?"

My reply: "Jesus will send for you when you're finished helping him out here--and that will be a long time from now."

How would you have responded?

Grandma's Little James Brown

Children are like sponges, soaking up all information they can get. They learn from watching their parents, grandparents, from daycare and school and even from listening to music.

Earlier this week, I picked up my four-year-old grandson from daycare and proceeded to go to the bank. As we were riding along, I had James Brown's song, Say It Loud I'm Black and I'm Proud, blasting on my CD player. I'm cruising along--- singing---and, all of a sudden, Jarod decides to chime in.

Mind you, Jarod has never seen James Brown before or heard any of his music before this day so you can imagine my total surprise when we walked into the bank and he starts dancing and singing VERY LOUDLY, "Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud..." . Fortunately, there weren't many people in the bank and no one could see my face turning red. I immediately explained that we had been listening to the song in the car and weren't coming into the bank to start a revolution.

I then softly told Jarod that he needed to have his quiet voice on when we were in the bank. Do you know what he did? He whispered as loud as he could, "Say it loud I'm black and I'm proud!"

I haven't had a conversation with him yet to see if he really understands what that song means or was he just singing it because grandma was. Althought I saw this as one of our funniest moments together, I also hope he will hold those words in his heart with a sense of pride in who he is.

Certainly, being a black male in this society will be a conversation that must be addressed.

Grandma's Valentine

On Valentine's Day I received an unexpected---but pleasant surprise when the Producer of NBC's My Carolina Today called to ask me to fill-in as a co-host. One of their anchors had called in sick and they thought of me. They needed me at the studio in less than three hours to tape the show, which was scheduled to air later in the week. At the time I was passing out chocolates to parents at a local school.

Of course, I made it to the set, taped the show, took plenty of pictures and returned home. The next day I received the most wonderful belated Valentine's Day gift of all when my four-year-old grandson looked at the pictures I posted on my Facebook page and said, "Look grandma, there's Oprah!" He was pointing at me.

Gotta love him!

Are Grandparents Going Overboard with Their Grandchildren

A survey conducted last year by BeGrand.net revealed that 81% of grandparents thought their grandchildren are more spoiled than they were. And they say it’s not just money, it’s far more than that.

As a grandmother myself, I say that's true and the sad thing is, I think spoiling my grandson at this stage may do him more harm than good down the road.

For example, I still iron because I like to iron and I like the way nicely pressed clothes look beyond permanent press. My grandson has gotten accustomed to having his clothes ironed. He now thinks everything he wears should be ironed, including his undershirts and boxers. That's something my mother used to do for my father but I ain't my mother.

Another thing is the fact that he has to have his strawberries and blueberries prepared in a certain way. The strawberries must be cut into halves with the blueberries on top, sprinkled with sugar.

He is also into the "preppy look." Now, I am not going to take 100 percent of the blame for this because his mother has a hand in his clothes shopping but between the two of us, we have given him a "Dapper Dan" complex.

I think there are many parents and grandparents who go above and beyond what is necessary to keep their children happy. The truth is, if a child grows accustomed to having it their way and being pampered all the time, then it stops being special treatment and becomes the "norm". To get them to appreciate what you do for them, you need to find a way to make them see how much effort you put in.

The best case scenerio, in my grandson's case, is that he will grow up and learn to do these things for himself---without relying on someone else to do them for him. He will also learn to appreciate how hard his grandma had to work to do those "special" things for him---and that's one lesson I definitely don't mind teaching.

Grandma's Pregnant

My four-year-old grandson has become my new personal trainer. He is my biggest motivator and inspiration when it comes to my efforts to get rid of my middle age spread.

For the past several days he has come up to me, leaned his head on my stomach and asked, "Grandma, do you have a baby in your belly?" Now, you and I both know no adult would have the nerve to say that--but my grandson's inquiring mind wants to know based on the evidence he thinks he sees.

No, he has no concept of what it means to fight the battle of the bulge. He only equates pudge with pregnancy so I guess that means I must go ahead and give birth---and try to do it in less than nine months!

In the meantime, please enjoy this video I created a few years ago after I wrote my first book: Whatever! A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age.

Mother Jailed for Wanting Children to Get Good Education

Kelly Williams-Bolar of Ohio and I (formerly of Ohio) are both mothers who have our childrens' best interests at heart and we will do whatever is necessary in order to make sure they have the best opportunities in life. Yes, that means LYING if we have to.

Ms. Williams-Bolar did the same thing two years ago that I did seven years ago. We both lied to ensure that our children would get a better education.

Fortunately for me, my lying went undetected---but not so for Ms. Williams-Bolar. Her lying landed her in jail charged with defrauding the school system for two years of educational services for her girls. She is also ordered to pay back $30 thousand dollars in tuition--a figure the court decided was the cost of sending her children to the wrong school.

Certainly, the fact that Ms. Williams-Bolar is a black woman had nothing to do with it,right? Whatever happened to the "no child left behind" that former President Bush kept harping on? Maybe it means don't leave them behind in the wrong school district.

No white parent has ever lied to get their child in a better school because they already go to the BEST schools.

The sad thing is her felony conviction keeps her from being able to get her teacher's license---which she was going to school for. Shame on that school district!

On the other hand, kudos to my school board for not wasting time investigating whether I was lying or not.

In my case, I initially told the truth by asking that my daughter be removed from the school she was attending in the district we lived in because I wanted her to get a quality education and it wasn't happening there. That request was denied. I appealed, went before the school board again with a well thought out lie and my request was APPROVED. To find out what that lie was you can read all about it in my new book, Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie.

I may have to resort to lying again since I now have a grandson coming up in the ranks.

So What Is This Baby Boomer Blog Really About

More often than not, I get emails from folks who are interested in being a guest blogger or offering something they think would be of value to my readers. Normally, I don't respond to them if I don't think it pertains to me but today I was feeling a little feisty and decided to challenge the recipient to the following email:

Baby Boomer Talk & other stuff
Ms. Beverly Mahone Blogger

Can we interest you in taking a look at this wonderful and unique pregnancy planner? The creator Pam (last name withheld) is also available for interviews.. She is a recognized professional organizer, has lots of really helpful ideas and advice, and is a great guest. If you'd like to receive a review copy, please verify your best street address and let us know how we can help you.

Paul (last name withheld), Publicist for Pam (last name withheld)

PREGNANCY PLANNER??? WHAT?! OK--so there is a picture of a little boy on my blog but he's my grandson and the blog header clearly states BABY BOOMER TALK and other stuff.

So here's what I wrote back:

You obviously haven't taken a look at my website because it has nothing to do with BABIES at all!

To which I received this response:

So sorry for the inconvenience. I work closely with media and try very hard to meet their needs.

You are absolutely correct. I didn’t look at your blog to see if it was a match, since over time I’ve learned that values and focus change so fast as publishers (yes even blog publishers) respond to what their audiences want and like. Basically targeting precisely sometimes is simply a bitch so I hope you can forgive me if we bring you something that’s not strictly in your desired area.

I bet he won't make that mistake again.

Older Women Younger Men

According to a recent survey by SeniorPeopleMeet.com, Match.com’s online dating site for boomers ages 50+, 94 percent of woman are itching to date a younger man.

Also according to the survey, 71 percent of women have already dated a younger man- with nearly 96% saying they would like to again!

I dated a younger man once. I was 17 and he was 15. It was OBVIOUS even back then that I was much more mature than he was. I was on my way to college. He was trying to pass 10th grade. I was a high school debate champion. His style of debating kept getting him suspended from school. Of course, there was one area where we seemed to be on the same page---or at least that's what I thought until I went to college and started hanging out with young men my own age and older.

According to this survey, I appear to be in the minority when it comes to dating a younger man. I am not a cougar nor do I have a desire to be one. That's because I am perfectly content with what I have, and, yes, he's OLDER.

Celebrity couples like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, and Madonna and Jesus Luz may be the envy of many baby boomer women but my question is, just how long will they be able to hang onto their prey?

All Grandparents Need a Back Up Plan in Case of the Flu

What's a poor grandparent to do when it comes to taking care the grandkids? If we keep them at home with us 24/7, they drive us crazy. If we send them off to daycare or pre-school, they come home with nasty germs and other bacteria that they are bound to pass on to us.

That's what happened to me last week as I was trying to nurse my grandson back to health from some flu virus he had to receive at his daycare. As he got well, I found myself flat on my back with all kinds of aches, pains, congestion and a headache that wouldn't quit.

The flu virus is usually prominent from October through May, the time of year typically known as "flu season." I should've known that but since I haven't had the flu in more than 10 years, I figured I had to be immuned from it despite all the reports that indicate older adults, young children and people with specific health conditions are at higher risk for serious flu complications.

On average annually in the U.S: 5 percent to 20 percent of the population gets the flu; over 200,000 people are hospitalized from flu complications; and about 23,600 people die from the flu-related causes.

No, I didn't die although there are times I felt like I was on my way.

If you are the primary caregiver of a small child and you get sick make sure you have someone who can help out while you recover. And by all means, make sure your grandchild can stay in a healthier environment so you don't keep passing the germs back and forth.

I was blessed to have a husband to nurse me back to health and the great-grandparents also pitched in by keeping our grandson.

The Chicken Polka Dots

When I picked up my grandson one day last week from daycare he asked me if he had the chicken polka dots. He sounded really serious about it so so I didn't want to burst out laughing over something that sounded ridiculous to me. I kept digging to try to get to the bottom of his inquiry. He started pointing to his face and then it hit me---he meant the CHICKEN POX.

He told me that's what Little Bill had and he wanted to know if he would get them too.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't thought of childhood diseases since my grown daughter was her son's age but now as his primary caregiver, I must be mindful of them.

If you are a baby boomer grandparent like me, it would be a good idea for you to brushen up on your knowledge of childhood diseases. Here's a site to refresh your memory: Common Childhood Diseases

Smarter than a Kindergartener

Noth Carolina ranks #23 when it comes to a ranking of the Smartest 50 States. That puts them in the middle of the pack. The ranking doesn't disturb me but what does bother me is a law passed that requires a child to be tested, at the parents expense, if the child misses the August 31 cut-off date.

Here's my dilemna: My grandson turns five less than a week AFTER the cut-off date of August 31. I have been told by a pyschologist that in order for him to be admitted he must take a reading and math test and be in the 99 percentile rate for passing. Basically, he must be SMARTER than a kindergartener. And if he doesn't pass, the $250 we have to pay to get him tested is NON-REFUNDABLE.

That makes absolutely no sense to me---especially since I see kindergarteners who don't know how to read or write.

When I brought this issue up in an informal setting recently, I had one woman tell me she thought it was cruel to push a child ahead because a parent considers their child gifted, advanced, more social, mature or whatever label. She also said she wondered how many parents are just trying to save on the astronomical cost of daycare by pushing a child into school early.

Those of you who know me well know her comments generated a very LIVELY debate and I'm sure I won't be invited to be in her company again----and luckily, there was a referee.

Have You Made Your Stop Doing List?

Not long after I wrote the previous post, (New Year Old Ways), a fellow blogger commented that she wasn't so much into making a New Year's Resolutions List. She, instead, needed to create a Stop Doing List. Laura believes we can benefit greatly "when we choose to cut things from our lives that no longer serve us."

Yes this makes total sense so here's my STOP DOING LIST for 2011:

1) STOP believing the hype people try to push on me when it comes to their business.

2) STOP associating with people who try to build themselves up by tearing me down.

3) STOP self-doubting my gifts and expertise.

4) STOP believing that everyone has my best interests at heart--because the truth is, some of them don't and will add gasoline to a fire at every opportunity.

5) STOP focusing from the outside-in. The Word says "Let your light shine before men" and that can only come from the inside-out.

6) STOP taking on more projects than I can reasonably handle at one time.

7) STOP being envious and jealous. OK---I know I'm not alone on this one but perhaps I'm the only one who will admit it.

8) STOP spending so much time on the computer. Now, that's a true challenge.

9) STOP ignoring my doctor's orders--that's especially important if I want to live a long time.

10) STOP pushing my daughter to finish college in four years. What's important is that she finishes.

11) STOP pushing my grandson to be smarter than he is. It's one thing to teach him to develop learning skills--but another to give him a nervous breakdown if he can't read, write, spell and do math at the age of four.

12)STOP and exhale when necessary.

What do you need to stop doing in 2011?

New Year Old Ways

For the first time in several years, I decided not to create a list of New Year's Resolutions. If I did, I would be carrying over many of the things I had on last year's list.

According to Psychology Professor Chris McManus from University College in London in, I am a part of the majority when it comes to people who create "to do" lists but fail to keep them.

Here is a brief summary of what the British Professor says are some of the reasons we fail to follow through on our resolutions:

1 - Sometimes we don’t really want to change.
Think about the goals you set as each New Year approaches. Perhaps you want to walk more, Smoke less, or eat more veggies. Your reasons for doing so may be good, but deep inside you may not really want to make that change at all. The gap between what you hope to accomplish and what you actually wish to do can prevent you from reaching your goal.

2 - Your resolution may be a fantasy.
Many of us have dreams of how our lives can be. Your resolution may only be a wish that you hope to do one day. It is nice to say that you are in favor of changing a certain behavior, but you haven’t made any real commitment to making that change.

3 - You lack a time frame.
It' easy to put off a commitment if you haven’t set a specific time goal. If you really want to keep this year’s resolution, be sure to think about how you plan to fit it into your current schedule. Set a real goal with a starting and end time.

The most interesting thing about all of this is that regardless of how many times we have failed, most of us will make new resolutions next year ad be optimistic--even if just for a little while.

How many New Year's Resolutions have you made good on in your life?